A Light that Shines in the Darkness

I had a couple of really nice services yesterday. I've been sick, so rather than compose another sermon, I orchestrated services with shared leadership. It was really nice. In the morning I used Lessons and Carols, a modern version by Katherine Hawker (which I picked up from www.textweek.com) and in the evening I had a Blue Christmas service for those in my congregation/community who were having a hard time during the holidays. In both, the light that shines in the darkness permeated all of the scripture and themes. For the morning service, the emphasis was on BEING the light and for the afternoon service, the emphasis was on seeing even a glimmer of light in our darkness.

Sometimes I need someone to preach to me. One of the retired pastors in my congregation, a UCC guy, thanked me for the morning service. I had been listening to the readings -- mostly poems -- and noticing how many of them were not exactly your conservative Christian readings. And I got to thinking -- I hope my congregation doesn't get offended. Anyway, this pastor sat by me after the service during fellowship time (usually I'm walking everywhere conversing, but since I was sick, I needed a seat) and he began to tell me what he heard in the readings. "I heard," he voiced, "that the light has been in this world since the beginning of time" (John 1:1 reference) "and that it will fade out if we don't carry it." Suddenly the gospel took on new meanings to me. Jesus showed us how to carry the light. We don't need him to come back and carry it some more. The light is still here. It's still waiting for us to embrace it and shine it to the world. Whether we "reflect" God's light or recognize that it is within us waiting to be ignited, it is here! Maybe I'm not saying it very well, but he spoke much of what I have been feeling. We have a lot to do with how much light can be seen. Answers to prayers can come from God through us. We are not mindlessly wandering the darkness awaiting enlightenment. The light is already here. I guess it pierced me in a new way this season.

Why Am I Getting This Now?

I've been struck by Jesus' use of reversals lately. For some reason it's sinking in at a deeper level lately. All during stewardship season as I preached on generosity I began to understand that you HAVE to give to receive. The whole point of "having" is to be able and willing to give it away. And when you give, more is added. I know it's what Jesus preached, but I have seen it in my own life as I'm learning to trust. Somehow I forget that all that I have belongs to God. Yet when I realize it's not mine, that I am being cared for by one who has more than enough to meet my needs, I'm not afraid to share. A woman called me yesterday while I was at the church and asked how the church is ever going to survive if we keep spending money. Now, let me put this in context for you by telling you that the woman is 89 and the church is behind this year (naturally) but it's an extremely frugal church. Let me also say that the budget is almost identical to the budget 6 years ago and that spending has not gone up. I told the woman that we walk a fine line as the church. We have to be good stewards of what God has given us by practicing careful use of our moneys, but we also have to spend or else we're not doing the ministry God has called us to do. Stewardship is about USING the moneys and gifts God has given us. And when we USE those funds we are also sharing what we've been given, we're practicing generosity and expecting nothing. Yet God continues to give more. She seemed to get it . . . at least for now. And I guess I seem to get it little by little too. I'll clam up and be all scared and then God will remind me to trust. And I'll calm down for awhile.

Something really interesting has been happening. I've been wondering how I'll be able to repay my student loans for divinity school (they've been deferred until now) and I knew I needed a raise of $4000 to make the minimum payment each month (yeah, it's that much . . . thanks, Vandy!). I had already reduced my budget to bare minimum. I've fretted over this for a long time, but other clergy have helped me see it's OK to ask for my needs. My session has been wondering how they are going to do this, but I've found them to be supportive of me. Well, as of tonight, they still haven't made their decision and I realized I wasn't afraid. It turns out my bookkeeper had been underpaying me all this year the equivalent of $4000 and has since corrected her error so, get this, $4000 will be included in what I'm paid next year. There was already enough, I just didn't know it.

This is the reversal God is teaching me. Give, Katie, and trust. Give and trust. Give and trust. There is always enough in God's kingdom.

The reversals are also seen in Nathan's comment on my last post, that perhaps the way in the wilderness is the wilderness itself. Perhaps God isn't "out there" guiding us to the light but is "with us" wherever we might be. Perhaps that answer is always "Emmanuel." Do we need anything more?

Sermon, trial 1

I tried out my sermon ideas at the nursing home today. I can never tell how it goes over by their responses because they are always just happy to see someone who cares enough to visit. I got a great response from my church member who has lived there the last 5 years who was trying to fill me in on the gossip at church -- ah, the grapevine keeps getting smaller! Anyway, I tried out the labyrinth story and realized I really need a visual to tell that story so I may have to use the projector screen for my illustration. The bigger question I have as I have begun reading commentaries is, how do we make a way in the wilderness? It seems that John the Baptizer made the way by hearing confessions and reminding them that God had forgiven them. We in the Presbyterian Church don't listen to confessions very often. We offer a corporate confession which reminds us that we as humanity are sinful and, no matter how pious we may feel, we keep sinning against God and against our neighbors. And so I'm wondering if that's what is at the heart of Mark's gospel -- how do we make a way in the wilderness? Jesus is Mark's obvious fulfiller of Isaiah's prophecy yet for Jesus to come, John had to make a way. John had to begin to do what was right, even though it was counter-cultural. John had to speak the truth when others did not want to see it and eventually beheaded him. John offered a ritual for the forgiveness of sins that was not about animal sacrifice but about being in a right relationship with other people and with God. John made a way in the wilderness. We too have to do that. We've got to make a highway for God-with-us to accompany us on. And along that highway we have to speak the truth, even if our congregations don't want to hear it. We have to speak what God wants us to speak and we have to live as God wants us to live. We've got to be real, change-makers, even if that means putting ourselves on the line. Peace as we wrestle through this week's lectionary together.

Comfort My People

The lectionary texts this week include both Mark's use of Isaiah's "Prepare ye the way of the Lord" in a literal sense as he prepares people to receive Jesus as the Lord AND Isaiah's initial prophecy to "prepare ye the way of the Lord. Make straight in the desert a highway for our God." But the Isaiah text begins, "Comfort my people." In other words -- tell them the good news -- things are changing in a Good way! My congregation doesn't like to hear that things are changing -- they like things the way they've always been. Sure, they'll accept change as it comes, but it's difficult. Their memories are of good times in the past, and we often forget that the "good times" can also live in the present . . . if we will make room for them.

I heard a wonderful quote yesterday from a colleague of mine. "If we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got." But he continued, "but it will be diminished." In other words, to make a way in the desert we can't simply do what we've always done . . . or we will continue to get lost in the desert. Comfort my people -- tell them that there is a way through the desert . . . there can be a highway for our God!

I'm going to use a story I heard at yesterday's presbytery meeting. A man was working at Montreat and decided to make a labyrinth. He and his 10 year old son laid the tape on a gazebo, then stained it, then removed the tape and there before them was a beautiful labyrinth. The child quickly ran through the labyrinth (even though labyrinths are to be carefully walked through). The second time through he slowed down a bit, making his way to the center to meet God, travelling the twists and turns of the maze. The third time he crossed all of the lines and walked straight to the center. Then he turned to his father and said, "some people think you can skip all of the twists and turns of life and go straight to God, but that's not how it works is it, Dad?"

I appreciated this story, because it reminds us that life is full of twists and turns. It reminds us of how difficult it is to prepare the way of the Lord, to make straight in the desert a highway for God. We start off in our spiritual lives, prepared to make a straight path for God, but then we get caught on curves and twists and turns and we forget our purpose. There's nothing wrong with those twists and turns for through them we are strengthened to continue making that path for God to travel along.

I'm starting here in my sermon preparation this week. I haven't commentaried yet and I'll see where my study takes me, but this is the beginning. Please, share your thoughts as you ask God to help you comfort God's people.

Top Gifts this Year

So it's Black Friday and I'm trying NOT to buy anything right now. Because it's true, it's not about stuff. It's about togetherness. It's not about debt, it's about sharing what we HAVE. So today I did spend money, but it was on haircuts for the whole family. And it was together time -- all four of us together with nice, pretty (handsome for Bill) haircuts. I am, however, browsing online. And we've made some lists about "stuff" that we want. Ultimately, I think I'd like a retreat center, already laid out and ready to go -- horses grazing, chickens laying eggs, and nice, quiet and reflective cabins under God's beautiful trees. Hey, if we're dreaming about "stuff" we might as well dream big, right? I'd like to help people simplify their lives and I'd like to simplify mine. I'd like to prepare meals from scratch and sew my family's clothes. I'd like for all of my "stuff" to be something I've created with these hands God has given to me. But in the meantime, I'm going to show you what my family wants. And if you, by chance, have any of this just laying around, I'm happy to purchase hand-me-downs. ;o)

For my dear husband:


For my oldest: the trilogy beginning with She's already read all of them -- but she wants the first and last one that we've had to get from the library. She also wants anything horsey and I'm browsing the internet for horsey things that won't clutter our home.

For my youngest:
Although she hasn't asked for this (American Girl is top of her list), she would enjoy this "game". She's a HUGE dolphin fan.

I hope you've had a wonderful Black Friday and that you are still in the black by the end of the day. I hope you've enjoyed your family and/or friends. And I hope you'll take the time to post a response to my blog here and there. Happy Day.

An Interesting Project

I just happened upon "One Lapbook Per Child" while I was facebooking and I have to say, I'm not quite sure what I think of it. I love the rugged exterior. It appears to be a wonderful machine -- low energy, lightweight, etc. And I love that it can help in schools around the world. But I was troubled by a part of the ad where it asks why we are giving lapbooks in places where there is no water. And they nicely answer, "education." As if education will help them get water. Are they serving water in schools? Probably. Maybe that's where they're getting their water. Or maybe they are teaching kids how to leave their cultures and go to places where water is abundant. I suppose they want us to think they are teaching new farming techniques or new skills that will help them get paying jobs. But what good will all of that do if they can't get water? Maybe you know more about the project than I do. I'll attach a link to it. And maybe I'm missing the whole point. But for some reason, I'm getting the feeling that they are touting technology over an agrarian lifestyle. And as one who desperately longs to return to a simpler life, I don't know that a free laptop is the answer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I think it is absolutely marvelous that Advent starts next Sunday -- right after Thanksgiving. It fits what American culture is doing, making the shift from thankfulness to Christmas preparation. I have the Hanging of the Greens service this Sunday (the Dennis Bratcher version from textweek.com) which means that my preaching needs to be really short, more of a homily or meditation. I haven't even begun to look at the lectionary texts because I've been thinking for awhile that during Advent my congregation needs to hear that we must make room for Christ to be born among us. We have some preparations to attend to. My daughter's riding coach gave birth 2 months early last week. The baby is fine! But there is no room prepared yet. (there's a shower this Sunday for her! the baby is still in the NICU). We've been talking in our church about growing for some time now, but when new people come, we often pretend they aren't there. We haven't prepared ourselves to receive Christ in them. So I'm working with that idea this week.

I wish I could post the power point I did last week for our stewardship finale, but I don't know how to save it as a video so I can upload it. If anyone can help me, let me know!

Also, please remember to order from Amazon through this site during the Christmas season! (and to google through this site!) It's an easy way for you to help ME! I've been able to make about $10/month (sometimes more) that I can use toward the girls' school books. So please, continue to help! And invite your friends to visit as well.

What are your plans for this Sunday?

I Forgot to Say Thank You

I'm preaching from Mark this week -- the story of the 10 lepers. It's a great Thanksgiving text and will tie in well to our last week with a stewardship emphasis. I was struck, as I read the passage, by how much I forget to say thank you or, in a larger understanding of thanks, how often I forget to PRACTICE thanksgiving. I drove through Zolfo Springs, FL on Monday, a small town with 2 gas stations that catch all of us driving from one place to another. The price at the pump said $1.99! I hadn't seen it below $2 in a few years now and immediately stopped to fill up the car. I did it for under $20!!!! Now, my first thoughts were on the realization that gas won't stay here for long. But my second thought immediately went to the understanding that I would have money "left over" in my budget this month. I allot $240/month for gas -- that's been the equivalent of 6 fill-ups (we have two cars). Now, suddenly on this beautiful fill-up, I realize I may in fact have half of that . . . for me! What can I do with $120 "extra" dollars?! Well, I could pay down some debt! I could buy some Christmas presents I wasn't sure I'd be able to buy. I could save it for a day when gas isn't as "cheap." But as I read the lesson for this coming Sunday, I was struck by the fact that I never once asked how I could say "thank you" to God for providing this "extra" money in my budget. I was one of the 9 running off in excitement to continue on with my life. But I fit into the early part of the story because I have not yet "spent" my extra money. I still have time to say thank you. I still have time to PRACTICE thanksgiving. I know I will tithe from that special blessing. But I'm also wondering if I should just return it to God. I wonder if I should not use the rest to give someone else an "extra" bonus.

It all goes back to the sermons of the last 6 weeks -- when we give, we always have more than enough. When we live our thanks, we become generous of heart and it changes us. I'm finding I'm being changed by these sermons. (!) I went home last week and told my husband that I want to start giving more -- not just in my church offering, but in my life. I supposed that would be practicing thanksgiving. What better way to spend a life!

Duh, It's About Fear!!!

I don't know why it took me so long to figure out the fact that FEAR is a key element in Sunday's story. I guess I've heard the parable of the talents so much that I thought it was about good investments or something. In this article: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_n30_v110/ai_14289215 there is a wonderful reminder that the danger of fear is articulated in this story. I'm jumping up and down (not physically, but mentally) because I've recognized so much fear in my congregation over the past month -- fear about the economy, fear about the church's slow growth, fear about the church's income, fear about dying, fear about living in these uncertain times, fear about change, blah blah blah! I look at the parable now and hear -- Beloved, what good are you if you are afraid?! You do NOTHING for the kingdom of God! At least try something! I've given you so much to invest in the lives of the kingdom, why do you hold on for dear life?!

So this frames my new approach to Matthew's Parable of the Talents!

How to Earn a Better Return on Your Investment

The parable of the talents makes its face known in the lectionary readings for next Sunday. Knowing that I'm in the middle of stewardship season makes this a natural lesson for those of us who aren't sure what the market will do next. At last week's Finance and Stewardship meeting, one of our members expressed that he had lost 40% of his money in stocks which would effect what he would be able to live on in the coming 12 months . . . in other words, his pledge will reflect the stock market. And I think that is sad. While I don't have a clue about taking a loss in stocks because I've not had the opportunity to invest anything in stocks, I know that the church has lost $10,000 in their conservative investments, so I'd guess that the pain of loss is very real for some people.

Strangely, the parable of the talents seems to demonstrate how the stock market is supposed to work. Make your money work for you and you'll get a good return on your investment. And it seems even harsher realizing that so many people thought they were doing the wise thing by investing in the stock market and then the manager comes in and chastises the one who did not earn a good return on his investment. It's like the kingdom of heaven is about a ruthless rich guy who is willing to take apart his Merrill Lynch securities investor . . . is it really HIS fault? Surely the manager should take some responsibility for even suggesting that these guys do anything with his money, right?

A story comes to mind (!) about a couple of churches. One held onto every penny they had for fear that they might need it someday. They wanted to be considered wise by not spending their money on ministries in the present so that they could have ministries in the future. Little by little they stopped doing ministry altogether, and as a church they died before their money ran out. No one saw them as a community willing to give all they had for the benefit of others. No one saw them for their love. A second church was about to die. They had four women left. All of the husbands had passed away and their children went to larger, more vibrant churches. The women rotated preaching every week and began to respond to the word of God that had been planted in them. They sold their church building and began meeting in each other's houses, and then they asked -- what can we do to live out a life of faith with what we have? And they established a fund to feed the hungry and assist the poor. They gave it all away before they died. Which of these two churches was the wise church? Which understood what it meant to invest their lives in the kingdom of God? Go and do likewise.

The Parable of 10 Virgins and an Oil Shortage

I put the title "10 virgins and an oil shortage" on my church's sign 3 years ago, when last the parable from Matthew 25 made its way into our homilies. It got a good response. However, this week, I think I'm going somewhere different with my ideas. See what you think.

While we are a community of believers, we each have an individual job to do. We can't just assume that others will do the job for us. Being stewardship season, I think it is important for us to realize that we can't rely only on those who are "better off than we" (i.e. better supplied than we) to keep the church afloat or to do the work of the whole church. Excuses just don't work on the day of the Lord. We are ALL to participate. It is foolish NOT to do our job.

A couple of stories come to mind: one is the election. We've all just seen history being made because so many people did their jobs. My husband told me on the morning of the election that he didn't see the point of voting because the electoral college could easily discount his vote in the larger picture. I told him of the importance of just showing support, just caring, just participating. And he went out to vote (I'm smiling here). It was his first time. (I suppose that would make him one of the 10 virgin voters) But anyway, you should have seen him beaming afterwards. He felt that he was a part of the US community . . . And he wouldn't go to bed until he heard the final results. He stayed up glued to the computer and celebrated because he knew his vote had made a difference. (I'm still weighing whether or not to use this story in my congregation because my county was a red county).

I also think of the many stories when people who are not even involved in the church critique it. This scripture invites us instead to participate and to change it. "Be the change you want to see in others" comes to mind for me. And I'm thinking about the potential of what can happen if we each decide to do our job -- if we get 100% pledging (even at only $1!), if we get everyone to participate in a ministry or a mission, etc. And as I think about potential, I'm drawn to my friend, Dixie's, retelling of the feeding of the 5000 with sippy cups of apple juice and goldfish crackers -- how when we each do our duty instead of expecting others to do it for us, we can easily do more than we ever dreamed possible. He told the story reminding his congregation that the 5000 fed were men and that the story says that they also fed women and children that day. And he reminded his congregation of the many parents he knows who pack loads of snacks to go out to church or a restaurant or even the grocery store . . . anything to help the kids stay still. And so, he imagined the hungry being fed when each mother reached deeply into her pocket book and decided she DID have something to share -- she had a bag of dried fish left over from last week's soccer game or a box of raisins from the long trip to Jerusalem. Or perhaps she had a sippy cup of applejuice or some zwieback that she had leftover from when her toddler was teething. And then Dixie challenged everyone to consider what they had in excess of what they needed and, for this passage, I guess I ask people if they are willing to do their job so that everyone can be fed, so that, on the Day of the Lord, everyone can be wisely prepared because they planned ahead, they participated, and they are ready.

Sermon Finale

So I once again went a different direction with my sermon today. I told the story of the Little Red Hen and really talked about how the Little Red Hen deserved to be the one to feast on the bread all by herself. She had earned it. She worked hard unlike the other lazy animals. But then I talked about how in Matthew, the humbled would be exalted. That in Jesus' world, the little red hen would receive no greater love than any of the lazy animals. Grace is free -- we can't deserve it. And as much as we might want the praise for ourselves, it's just not about us. It's about grace . . . for all.

Who's Really Our Leader?

OK, so it's a lame title for Sunday's sermon, but I really wanted to work toward some tie-ins: 1) with the election -- I've heard so many people complaining about this election -- like we're doomed one way or another. I happen to think it's good that people are complaining, that means that change -- of one sort or another -- is coming. At least that is what they teach us in church transformation classes. But what I want to emphasize is that we're not doomed one way or another. In fact, God is still the one we should serve before anyone else. Sunday's scripture (Matthew 23:1-12) emphasizes that human leaders are often self-serving and that ultimately we need to place our faith in God. Verse 10 "The Messiah is your only leader." 2) with my church's stewardship theme of "belonging." I want to remind people once again that they belong to God BEFORE country. Sometimes I think we forget that God is much larger than one country. And we act surprised when we discover that God is actually God of all -- hmmm . . . interesting concept. 3) True Christianity is seen, not politicized. I love the commentary on the Pharisees in verses 5-7, "Everything they do is just to show off in front of others. They even make a big show of wearing Scripture verses on their foreheads and arms, and they wear big tassels for everyone to see. They love the best seats at banquets and the front seats in the meeting places. And when they are in the arket, they like to have people greet them as their teachers." In other words, we who follow God rather than politicians are to live our faith so no one wonders what it is we believe. This morning on msn.com, one of the headlines was: What is Sarah Palin's religion? Who cares! If we can't tell by looking at her life, what does it matter?

So these are my early considerations for next week's sermon. I also will be serving communion on Sunday so will consider how the gifts of God for the people of God fit in as well. I also really like the greatest/least story elements. Makes me think of the fables about the lion who was saved by the mouse who chewed him out of a hunter's net. I'm wondering if I might use that . . .

For those of you following my exercise, I've exercised daily for the past 14 days!!!! 30 minutes of Wii Fit each day is marvelous! My Wii Fit age has been in the low 30s all week long so I'm doing OK for my age group. My hips are staying sore from the advanced Hula Hooping and my weight is stable, though not going down. I'm eating well (not excessive, not unhealthy) but can't initiate the weight loss. Maybe I should drink more water.

Daily Post

I'm trying for the daily post these days. Had a really nice service this morning after I got over my frustration with my printer not working and the church's internet being down and the All Saints Banner missing in action. It was Pastor Appreciation Day and the church surprised me (really, they did) with a cake and a bunch of cards. I needed that. I still do. I've been really doubting myself lately. I know I'm becoming a better preacher every week. They let me know that. And my stories are getting better the more I tell them. I'm learning to listen for God as I speak and it's amazing to preach like that. The story is incredibly powerful. Today I was preaching on how we are to treat neighbors (the anyman/anywoman) as we would treat family and I was convicted myself of my desire to look out for my family before anyone else. I still don't know what God wants me to do about it, but I do want to really think about how I can LIVE my love of neighbor. I believe that will stay with me for a few days. I guess I am being changed right alongside my congregation. But my doubt is more about wondering if I am really liked. It sounds so junior high, but I really care about whether or not people like me. My congregation is full of people who are not in my peer group so I don't suppose they ever will really "like" me though they will appreciate me. And I think this is what bugs me the most. I have friends my age (not in my church) who like me for me. But I wonder if a congregation is supposed to "like" their pastor. They say they do, but I don't know . . . Maybe I'm PMSing or something. This is just the stuff that roams around my mind when I've had a long day with little sleep. Perhaps I should try again in the morning.

Sermon Surmises

I've been trying to work out my sermon for Sunday and, like everything else, I get overwhelmed by the many possibilities. But it's a good overwhelmed. There is so much good stuff in the scripture that I can't decide where God's leading me through it. One of the things I learned in my storytelling workshop is that I must decide on the M.I.T. -- the most important thing -- to guide my storytelling. But it's also true that sometimes, as you tell stories, the stories proclaim their own M.I.T. My job is to listen for both -- both my MIT and my story's MIT -- sensing how to focus in on only one MIT.

Sunday's scripture is from Matthew 22:34-46 (though I'm stopping at 40). 34When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, 35and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” 37He said to him, “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38This is the greatest and first commandment. 39And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

My church's stewardship emphasis this year is on BELONGING and so this week I'm hoping to focus on the M.I.T. that we belong to one another. My research has led me to the understanding that in 1st century Mediterranean culture, to Love was an action rather than an emotion. Further, the concept that one must love one's neighbor as one's self was not the psychological appeal that we must love ourselves (thanks, Sarah Dylan, for that one) but rather the reminder that we must love others as we love our own family members. I serve a retirement congregation where most of the members were raised in the Depression. They know what it means to hoard just in case. And always in the back of their mind, there is the hope that when they die they will have something left over to leave for their families. (and because of their frugality, they will most likely have more than anyone would dare believe!) This hope that there will be something leftover, however, doesn't seem to be what Jesus was talking about. Rather, I think more about the way that we try desperately to care for our family members, that they may have more than us and better than us.

A few weeks ago I was talking with my mother about generosity. She's a very generous person and has willingly given anything she has to help someone else. But she mentioned that it can be quite frustrating when no one pays back what she has lended them. Immediately I remembered all of the many dollars I could possibly owe her for all of the generosity she has offered -- from dinners out when we come to visit to a place for my husband to stay while he's been in school. I made mention of this and she immediately said -- oh no, not you! I wanted to give these things to you! Besides, when I am old, I expect you to care for me! Her attitude toward me, however, is exactly the attitude we are to have toward our neighbor. Jesus wants us to bend over backward for our neighbor -- giving them exactly what we would give our beloved son or daughter. And why? because we belong to each other.

To love God, we must love our neighbor, tangibly. We are not just to have that Christian emotional love in our hearts that says, "I love you but I don't like what you do." Rather, we are to love them with our actions. And who is our neighbor? it's everybody. It's the person living next door that I've never had over for coffee. It's the cashier at Publix that has had a horrible day. It's the teenager that plans to drop out of school this year because they just don't care. It's the family that abandoned their child because they couldn't feed her. It's the village living in poverty and oppression in a far off country. It's the soldier fighting because he was taught to hate from the time he was a boy. We could spend our whole lives trying to love our neighbor as ourselves, working to make sure that their needs were taken care of as much as ours were. It's intense, tough love.

When you're on the recipient end of being the neighbor, you understand the correlation to God. When your needs are met by someone unexpectedly, you can't help but believe that God loves you so incredibly much. So give so that someone else may know love.

This is my direction for Sunday. I'll tell stories to communicate all of this. And it sounds as if my M.I.T. is a bit more than just "we belong to each other," but rather something more along the lines of how acting on our neighbor's behalf with the actions we reserve for our own family is, indeed, loving God with all of our hearts. I wonder how that will translate?

Blog Updates

Besides my posts, I am adding lots of fun links from my page. Take some time (if you have it) to look around. You'll find some of my favorite music sampled via mp3 links to the left. Down below you'll find some ingenious Jesus products. (I really want the Magic WWJD Jesus!) I also have a link to my non-church job where I would love for you to buy eco-friendly products (like solumel that gets out permanent ink from walls and tables! or Melapower which is so concentrated a laundry detergent that you only have to use one ounce per load and I swear it works! Talk about saving money! Just click on my no debt family link and fill out the form on there!) You'll also see links to books that I'm reading or that I recommend and yes, Kira Salek is now one of my favorite authors. And if all of this seems like too much marketing for your taste, just read my post and come back often. I'll try to keep things enjoyable!

Storytelling from the Pulpit

As many of you know, I attended a conference last week about how to tell stories from the pulpit. As I emphasized to my congregation, this is not an attempt to tell LIES from the pulpit, but rather to find the place where our lives match up with the faith story. Like many, my firsthand experience with sermons was the 3 point sermon . . . and in my upbringing all three points had to start with the same letter . . . i.e. God wants us to 1) STEP outside our comfort zone, 2) SEEK the lost, and 3) SAVE their souls . . . yada yada yada. But I wasn't comfortable with the three point approach and especially not with the alliteration. It just wasn't me and God called me to be me, not to fit into somebody else's box. So I've been experimenting for the last 7 years (yes, I've been ordained for 7 years next month!) with the sermon style that is "mine." In my field education experiences, I learned that sermons could be well-written, and thus the focus became the Word, which, according to John 1, is a pretty amazing thing. I found myself enjoying preaching from the manuscript, realizing that I could push myself while pushing my listeners, but I knew that there was something missing between my manuscript and my congregation's response. And so I began searching again. In seminary I studied homiletics under David Buttrick, one of the "greats" when it comes to homiletics. He had rules to follow, but not so intensely that they couldn't be broken. His rules were more about content and making sure stories and analogies "fit" what was to be communicated with the congregation. But what really has stayed with me from his class was his acknowledgment that in today's fast-paced society, people can't grasp hold of 3 points anymore . . . in fact, you're lucky if you can get them to grasp hold of 1 point. He reminded us of the society we live in . . . where information is thrown out at us so quickly and we are, as the receivers, asked to sort through that information at lightning speed. We'll take that, thanks. Toss that, it's junk. Mentally that's what we do. I wanted to find a way to communicate across generations in a way that would undo the expectations of the now ONE point sermon. And how better to do that than a story.

Doug Lipman is a professional storyteller/marketer who just so happens to be married to a wonderful Disciples of Christ pastor. So when the opportunity came for me to attend a storyteller workshop for clergy at his home, I didn't hesitate. I got permission from my session to be gone for a few days and off I went. What I discovered was the reason I'm always buying children's books and reading fantasy novels. I was reminded that I LOVE stories. And I was also reminded that a good story is open-ended enough to meet us wherever we have a need. Children find their place in a well-told story. Senior citizens find their place in a well-told story. And so I am making it my goal to tell stories this year -- all year long. I don't want to simply tell inspirational stories that come through my e-mail 50 times each day, but I want to tell stories that connect to the stories of my faith.

This Sunday I'm preaching about "the greatest commandment." What is it, Jesus, the Sadducee wants to know -- Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself. It's pretty basic, you know, but in the context of the story, it becomes HUGE and invites all ages in to listen and believe. 93% of this story is unknown. So I wonder what some of the details were. I wonder why the Sadducee is asking Jesus this question . . . is he trying to "catch" Jesus like the Pharisee who failed in the paragraph before? What is Jesus feeling as he is asked this question? What is so important in the rest of the law that Jesus seems to ignore? What sounds and sights surround them in their discussion? Does someone else watch what is going on? And then, as we transition this faith story to our story, I wonder how many times we fail to love God because we fail to love our neighbor. I wonder what the stories are in my own life where I didn't attend something because I knew "so and so" would be there. I wonder how exclusive I've become in many areas. I wonder if knowing my own exclusivity would encourage me to open my heart to those I have excluded. And I remember what it feels like to be excluded, to be ignored or not taken seriously.

The story is so broad, yet to pertinent. So here I rest, with memories and feelings instead of the all-important Word. Perhaps this is what it means to live what your learn or to practice what you preach. Whatever it is, I'm lovin' it!

My Friend, the Wii Balance Board

The Wii balance board is my friend. Every morning when I step on, it waves at me and expresses joy in seeing me again. It offers me tips if I want them, but understands if I'm just not in the mood. It doesn't tell me my weight, though it does remind me not to snack if my weight increases from one day to the next. Don't get me wrong, it's not my BEST friend. I don't want to spend ALL of my time with it (though my body would be stunning if I did!) but there's nothing like a little encouragement at 6:00 AM. The kids have been getting up early to watch me exercise (joy joy . . . ) but my 7 year old is a great encourager. I'll be groaning as I do my sit-ups (I had forgotten I even HAD abs!) and my daughter will cheer, "great job, Mom!" every time I start the crunch. So, for those of you cheering me on from cyberspace, I'm exercising . . . everyday. I'm aiming for 30 minutes/day though today I stopped mid-jog to groan and quit. But I'll finish before the day's up. My BMI is slowly going down as long as I'm exercising. Over time I should see something.

Running to Oklahoma

I'm in Oklahoma taking an incredible course on how to use story in worship and it's both fun and incredibly challenging. I spent time yesterday on the elliptical they have here and took a noon walk through the beautiful cool woods. Ahhh, fall! I miss this at home! Today I haven't done the elliptical, but I'm hoping for a mid-day walk. We'll see. I miss wii fit, though.

Back to the Pavement . . . Kinda

I've been waiting for the heat to let up before heading back out to the pavement with my nice Saucony running shoes and my exercise clothes. But I forgot that in FL the heat really doesn't even begin to let up until late October. What to do?! Well, I think I've found the answer. I don't have room for a treadmill in my house (nor the money to buy one.) But my dear hubby got a Wii for his birthday this past summer and it finally came home two days ago. I set it up with that awesome balance board and Wii Fit program and I get to daily work on my balance and get the update on how much weight I've lost or gained . . . quite the humbling experience. But this morning at 6 AM I pulled on my tennis shoes and ran around a whole island with other runners cheering me on. The temperature was perfect . . . being that the night A/C was still on in addition to the fan above my head. The other runners were quite friendly and waved even when they passed me. My trainer kept encouraging me to keep it up. I crossed a bridge and saw a beautiful waterfall. I ran through a quaint town with absolutely no traffic or pollution. And when I crossed the finish line, people applauded me and jumped up and down! What a high! You'd never guess you could get a workout running in place in your living room, but I was sweating and panting by the end . . . and yes, I worked out for a full 30 minutes and at least half of that was at a running pace. My muscles are a bit sore tonight. I guess that's a good thing too.

We've incorporated Wii Fit into our homeschool day. The girls each have to complete 30 minutes on the days they don't have cheerleading. Bill and I are committed to the same. I played around with the ski jump and the soccer heading as well as step aerobics and yoga. It's good stuff. And best of all I don't have to go to the gym and face all of those skinny people. I can save that fuel and honestly look at myself (they adjust the Mii to be heavy when we're heavy . . . kind, huh?!) and set achievable goals in my own home.

Wednesday I'm leaving for Oklahoma for a few days. I'm going to learn about the gift of storytelling and how to use it in sermons, etc. I'm really psyched. But I won't be able to take the Wii with me. I hear there are some good running trails in the neighborhood where I'll be so I'll pack my shoes and plan to enjoy some nicer fall-ish weather.

So I guess the title of my post shouldn't be "back to the pavement" but back to the tile floor. Hmm . . .

This is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the heat in fall is almost as bad as the heat of summer; where the 89 year old neighbor killed a 4 1/2 foot rattlesnake in his yard with a garden hoe while the snake was choking on a squirrel!), and where the kids don't even bother to go outside so afeared they are at the wildlife!

Vitamins

Hello my friends! I've found that now that school has started AND my husband is home I have very little time to blog. But it's so nice to have friends checking in on me so I'll try for a quick update.

1. As I mentioned, my husband is home. He's taking a semester off of school to share in the joys of parenting and work on getting healthy with me. Because we're on such a limited budget, we no longer have the excuse, "I went out to eat!" or "I don't have time to cook." We are now buying food two weeks at a time and my dear husband is cooking marvelous veggie-filled meals. We DID happen to polish off the oreos that he found in the back of the pantry, but even as we got a sugar rush, we both commented on the drug of white sugar we could feel in our system even as exhaustion rushed in. We know it's a drug. The oreos are now gone.

2. I'm on day 2 of vitamins! I've ordered vitamins with oglio-fructose complex which is supposed to aid in the absorption of the good stuff I eat. I'm giving it a month to see if it increases my energy. So far, so good.

3. Clean house. We're keeping the house clean. I've got the kids using www.flylady.com student journals and it has done wonders for the whole family's pitching in to keep this house clean. Because the kids do the dishes now, I don't mind using my cleaning time to mop or sweep up dog hair or even clean the bathrooms. My husband is doing laundry and helping with the clean up also. With all of us doing our part, the house stays clean and my mental health is so much better.

4. I didn't join the YMCA. I don't have enough money to join the Y, even just their swimming pool, and even though I know they have a sliding scale, I don't think "$0" is something they offer to a family that has a job. SO, I'm not exercising. I'm not too pleased with myself over that, but cleaning house has kept me more active than I had been. I don't have much time for the computer anymore so I'm not on my tushie all the time. I purchased two workout videos. If I can find the time of day to do them (maybe after lunch?) then I'll get with the program there. I still want to start running again. I guess I'll just have to decide to do it. (And yes, Christy, the bike-to-work goal will begin when cooler weather comes along and the rainy season ends here)

5. I've been reading good books. I discovered the book White Mary and LOVED it! I was challenged to remember what life is like in other parts of the world and how privileged we are actually living while also enjoying an incredible storyteller. I also checked out the newly released book Schooled which totally freaked me out about Upper East Side Manhattan moms & dads paying tutors to do their private-schooled students' homework so they could get into an Ivy League School where they would once again pay someone (upwards of $450/hour) to do their homework. And I began to wonder just what "Ivy League" means anymore. Quick read -- great ethical and moral questions. I found myself being sucked into the "teachers should be paid more so who cares if we're doing their homework for them?!" mentality and also seeing my own "pastors should get paid more" feelings flooding my head. Good stuff.

6. Eco-friendly products. Part of my cleaning frenzy has been my new part time "job" which, I'll admit, isn't a job yet because I haven't sold a thing. My goal is to get my family out of debt so I've signed on to refer people to a company that sells eco-friendly cleaning products and make-up and vitamins and everyday household items we're already buying from someone else. I've decided to TRY the products before I push them too hard and I'm absolutely amazed. I did laundry with this eco-friendly detergent and was amazed at how clean everything turned out. It's all really cost-effective too because it is highly concentrated. It's all non-toxic, biodegradable stuff that's affordable and so I'm having a blast cleaning house and feeling good about these products. All I've done is change where I'm spending my money and it's saving me money while helping the environment. So I feel good about this possibility. I refuse to sell to church members or even talk about it with them. That, to me, is a conflict of interest so I'm just not going to go there. I even have a real website! www.nodebt.fourpointmoms.com But I am glad to have found something I can believe in that only takes time if I want it to take time. And I'm glad to have something with the potential of getting me out of debt.

7. Chastise me about the no-exercise thing if you want, but I'm gradually making good changes in my life that are leading to a healthier me. At the heart of my healthy,happy personhood is having my family together again. I hadn't realized the burden I was carrying living apart. It's not forever, but maybe it will make the next separation a little more bearable, knowing we're willing to take time off from stuff to be together.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the sun shines brightly thanks to a turn in paths for Hurricane Ike, where the mosquitoes are quickly becoming this county's "bird," and where families enjoy homemade meals together and date night means checking out a movie from the library. ;o)

What AM I doing?

Because you are chomping at the bit to hear what's up here, I'll tell you. I'm staying healthy. I'm not running, but my daughter and I are talking/deciding this weekend whether or not we are going to train to run a 5K together. I would love to have her as a running partner and it would be great for both of us. Having a goal in mind will also be good. I have another friend who has offered to 'train" us via facebook. God knows I'd need training. The best part is that the run is through Animal Kingdom so she and I would get to site-see as we go.

I have been eating well also. I've been planning my meals ahead of time which makes them delicious, homemade, and affordable . . . not to mention healthy! The crock pot is my new best friend. I "splurged" today by having Taco Bell for lunch, but won't make myself feel guilty about it. I'll just keep planning future meals so we can all be happy and healthy.

Also, beginning next week, I'll be checking in at the YMCA on Tuesdays and Thursdays to swim some laps at their new pool. The girls have 3 hours at the cheer gym during which I can work, make visits and/or swim laps. I hope to do some of all of that.

Well, I've gotta get going. The kids are at a swim party and I'm the driver du jour.
KT

Here I Go Again On My Own

I had the wonderful luxury of a running partner last week (thanks, Kipp) who, buff as he is, stuck with me as I moved slowly and even walked on the uphill climbs. Our walks ended Sunday when a week of late night activities (including karaoke and late nights with my clergy friends) left me choosing the pillow over a running mate. However, I did covenant with my covenant group to keep at this "taking care of myself" health routine throughout the year. So here I am, FINALLY home, and determined to care for my body. Snacks have been changed to bottles of water, and that's good because ultimately I just want to have something in my mouth. I'm not picky about what it is and I've noticed that unhealthy food and even drinks don't help me feel good. Food involves more veggies and I'll toss out the sugar (again). Christy is my official eating partner, even though she lives in Philadelphia. She'll be the one I answer to. Lisa is my running partner, even though she is in Maryland. I know that every morning she's up and jogging on the treadmill. So even if I go out on my own (my neighbor officially moved!) I'll know she's up and going to. So here I go again on my own . . . only it's not really alone. I just know it's one day at a time.

Running from God

It's Sunday so of course I have to bring God into the discussion. Actually, I don't really HAVE to, but sometimes it happens. Actually, it's not me who is running from God. I have a parishioner who called me after church and wanted to talk to me about something. Actually, this parishioner is one of my deacons and has been amazing with my old people -- visiting them and driving them wherever they need to go. It's been wonderful. Well, one of my other deacons GAVE his old car to a young man who has been attending our church with his father (long story, father adopted him around the age of 11 and he had been in foster care before that. The kid has also been in jail once for breaking into a store when he was drunk and this happened not too long ago. Anyway, he's a pretty good kid, just made some bad choices along the way. The kid needed some money to pay for tax, title, and insurance so church members have been letting him do some work for them. Cutting down a branch here -- $10. Helping someone with their garden -- $30. Etc.

So this kid may need a ride in the near future to go pick up his new car. I asked my deacon if he would make himself available to drive him. Today he called and said he wasn't comfortable with this kid. And he asked if that made him a bad deacond. I never answered his question directly. I wanted to yell out, "YES it does! This is your job -- young person or old person, felon or peaceloving, this is your job!" But I remembered that when I point fingers at him I'd also be pointing fingers back at myself. I'm perfectly comfortable with this kid (though I wouldn't go alone because of the whole 'Don't visit a male by yourself' thing which I tend to follow most of the time.) And I would gladly drive him to pick up his car. But what is it about teenagers and young adults that bug the older people? I titled my post "running from God" because I think that's exactly what we do when we ostracize anyone from our care. I've got church members who are difficult, but I don't feel right in running from them. I've got other church members who are young, some who aren't sure they believe, others who are crotchety, but I believe that they are all children of God. Maybe it comes down to understanding what each of our callings are. I LOVE working with children and youth. But my deacon prefers working with the elderly. I guess the body of Christ needs both the left and the right hands to accomplish its work. I'm not even going to say which hand I am.

Peace of Christ be with you.

The Mental Hurdles

I can feel my need to run, to exercise, to something! It's bottled up in here yet I go nowhere, shaking nothing. I don't run. I could easily blame the heat (and I do) because I know in a month the temperature should start to drop a couple of degrees. But that's not all it is. I took my kids to the neighbor's pool yesterday and even though they begged me to get in, I didn't. (Honestly, I had it in my mind that the pool would be too cold.) So I literally have to psych myself up to care for myself. It's unreal. Or maybe it's VERY real.

I'm excited about heading to Philadelphia on Wed. because I WILL have a running partner (or more than one) who will make me get out there and push my body. I'd like to get back into making this into a habit. So when I return I can get myself out there yet again. I also plan to sign up at the Y for their pool pass (we have a brand new pool at the Y with swimming lanes) so I can swim whenever my kids are at their cheer class. I want to take care of myself!

Everyone around me is on some diet or another. I refuse to go on a diet because I've heard that the ups and downs of dieting are bad on your body too. I'd rather learn to eat right, and honestly I know how to eat right I just get pulled into the glory of sugar and other such processed body killers. And I usually eat when I am down or stressed. I've gotta figure out how to get myself running for stress. See, it's like this circular argument of dealing with life.

Life is wonderful right now (as you can see in the last post) but still there is stress. Thanks for listening to my daily rant.

I Had A Dream

I had a dream about 2-3 weeks ago that has been staying with me. I won't bore you with the details but I haven't had a dream like this in ages -- you know, the ones where you are sure there is a message in there somewhere but you just can't for the life of you figure out what that message is?! So I contacted my old College Professor who did a lot of dream work and via e-mail we began to assess this dream. It appears that I am sure that things are changing in my life for the better and that the changes will be painless and a "welcome surprise." Why is my consciousness doing this to me?! So my dreamworker (for lack of a better name) is asking me to think about all of the possibilities in my life. I have a ton of them. I have ideas galore about what would be best for my family, me, our future, etc. But in the meantime I am swamped with debt -- mostly student debt but lots nonetheless. And I wonder how on earth I will ever get out from under there. In the back of my mind I hear this voice of God telling me that God's riches are enough, that I should not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough concern of its own. And so I've begun to rest in that and dream about the possibilities for this life of mine. As I imagine, I wonder if there is a way I can help fellow clergy get out of debt so that they can serve their churches without worrying about how they are going to feed their families. So I signed up to make some money on the side by selling a product I believe in, hoping that I'll be able to help others in the same boat. I felt good about that, and yet I still hear my longterm dreams which include offering spiritual direction at a retreat center of sorts, and hosting homeschool camps for kids a few times a year, where the kids can do a week's intensive of learning on one subject at a time. (I swear, as overwhelming as all of this seems to you, it's exhilerating to me!)

SO, I met with this guy this morning who basically owns my little subdivision. I've heard of him millions of times and finally got to meet him over coffee this morning. He asks what my vision for the church is and I tell him that it's been awfully difficult to envision what's next for the church because I didn't know where the community intended to go (it's been at a stand still for about 25 years). He begins to describe HIS vision and together we talk about the possibilities for the church within that vision. It was amazing! He was interested in one thing and I had the perfect contact for him that would not only help the church but also the community. I was interested in something else and he began to tell me the perfect opportunity that would not only help me realize my dream but would also provide a needed service to the community. Then, get this, he tells me (granted I've not shared my dream) that he has a friend has some land near me that he's wanting to GIVE to someone who would set up some sort of retreat center/spiritual learning place. I looked at him dumbfounded and told him my dream. He gave me this guy's phone number!

I think I'm going to keep dreaming to see what happens next!

No Running, No Excuses

I HAVE no excuse! Everyone is well again at my house! The girls are both home. It doesn't rain in the morning . . . always afternoon. Hurricanes are hitting a few states over from here. I am just not donning my running shoes! Next week I will fly into Philadelphia where I am sure I will run . . . a lot. I have running partners there who will make sure my body gets whipped (or is that whooped?) into shape. Hopefully I will take a day or two before then to prepare myself for said whoopin'

The Swamp Thing

This here frog greeted me when I came home from church today. He is sitting on my windowsill, right next to the front door, looking at me as if to say, "Don't worry, I won't jump, I'm too big and too old to jump." But do I listen to him? No way! This sucker's huge! I guess I shouldn't be too surprised to see swamp things since I live in the swamp. Not to mention right now it's VERY wet in our area -- standing water everywhere and the outdoors smell like a pig sty with very wet mud everywhere. This guy is no ordinary tree frog. He's big enough to be Tree Frog swallowed Frankenstein's growth serum. I half expect to hear the bionic woman music in the background as I watch him grow to an unnatural size. I swear it's Kermit's offspring because he's just SO
big! Well, enjoy the pictures and be thankful you're not here to see him live. I'm just thankful
he is eating all of the mosquitoes that have been swarming my front door.

Frogs, Frogs, Frogs! Thank you God for Frogs!

Just Me and My Girl

My daughter has tonsilitis or strep throat. Needless to say, she's not let me get out of her sight much . . . not to run, not to go to work, nada. But I'm enjoying the few days I have to be just plain Mommy. My older daughter is staying over at a friend's house so that she doesn't catch whatever this yukky stuff is. Today seems to be a better day than yesterday. She's able to swallow liquids thanks to Tylenol and antibiotics. She's still feverish, but able to play independently for short spurts of time unlike yesterday when she just needed to be in my lap. I love being Mom.

Running From the Rain

Sorry I've not posted this week. It's been VBS week which means lots of early mornings and exhausted evenings. I also didn't run during VBS because I had an extra 2 kids in my house. Each of my girls had a friend stay over for the week and while it made some things easier (they each were entertained throughout the day) I swear I spent a ton of time in the kitchen feeding four children. I found myself planning meals complete with vegetables and even got one little friend to eat broccoli cole slaw willingly despite the fact that her mother insists she won't touch broccoli. (Am I sneaky or what?!)

Anyway, when I finally sent the "extra" kids home on Friday, I got my husband back for the weekend and he and I got to go on dates and catch up on life without the kids. It was a great way to start the weekend. Then Saturday night after we put the kids to bed, he asks if I'd like to walk around the block with him. His walk around the block is 2.5 miles whereas, if you remember, my runs have been less than 2 miles. Well, we get the girls situated and safe with the phone nearby and take the dog around the block. I began jogging at my normal slow pace (equivalent to his slow walk -- darn those long legs) and was doing pretty well. About the time we hit the halfway point we realize that the clouds overhead are quickly coming together, meaning we expect an all out thunder storm. We decide to pick up the pace a bit and my slow jog begins to match his quicker-paced walk. Then the rumbles start and lightning starts to flash across the sky and I'm thinking a fast paced jog isn't such a bad idea. By the time we hit our street, the wind is blowing a combination of hot and cold and it's obvious the heavens are about to break loose so I decide to sprint home. My husband and the dog aren't far behind me.

All in all I did quite well -- probably jogged 2 miles -- and much of that at a higher speed than normal. Oddly, I did all of this not in my running shoes but in my daughter's generic pair of crocs which are extremely comfortable. My husband and I enjoyed our adventure "out" and were happy to get home still dry and un-singed by the electrical storm that was brewing all-too close.

My trip to Pennsylvania is now a little less than a month away and I still haven't lost my 10 pounds. However I feel that I am making some healthier choices little by little. The craziness of a summer schedule has been a challenge for sure. So I won't be wearing a new skimpy dress when I deplane in Philly (sorry to disappoint you, friends) but I should have more energy than usual. Time will tell.

Running and Old People

My dog woke me up this morning to go running, and I did. Yes, pat me on the back. We went a bit further than yesterday but not quite as far as my 1.7 miles I'd say I'm up to about 1 mile now. I walked, jogged, and finished with a sprint. My knee is feeling OK, but I'm still mighty cautious with it. I think the best part of this exercise thing is that it makes me breathe.

But what I'm really writing about today is the need to complain. Actually, after today, I feel like I need to run for about an hour. I met with my CE chair this afternoon to plan Christian Education for the fall which, in a congregation of 5 kids is much more complicated than it needs to be. Anyway, she mentioned to me that one of my older members (who knows to come to me if she has a problem . . . we've been through this more than once) is upset because I told the session last winter (winter 2007) that I would be asking for a raise for 2009. Yes, I gave them a year to consider. She's upset because she believes, with the economy the way it is, that I should take a pay cut. So here's the situation: I took a pay cut two and a half years ago with the understanding from a few people that they would try to make up the budget deficit so I could recoup. what was cut the following year. Two years have passed and I haven't gotten even a cost of living increase. To make things more interesting, we've not had a budget deficit in two years. We've been able to come out in the black both years AND even make up the deficit from that very bad year. Fundraisers have helped with this, but the truth of the matter is . . . we're in good shape financially. Add to that a series of people joining the church and things are looking good. But she's upset and is starting rumors about my request for a raise before it's even gone through the session. Hear me out . . . it gets better. My student loans come due in January -- I have no more deferment options left. And they come due at $400/month. That's not a small sum. Add to that gas at $4/gallon (as opposed to $2 and change when I last got a raise) and I'm already working at a deficit. Am I doing my job? Yes. Sure, it's slow right now, but we've actually had quite a few in worship . . . I've made many hospital and home calls . . . I officiate at a memorial service on Sunday . . . and our income is pretty good for summer. I realize I am going to have to confront her on this issue . . .before it makes its way to who knows who?! So I feel as if I must run my heart out tomorrow morning just to re-teach myself to breathe . . . and maybe I'll pray for my enemies while I run. Novel idea. Grrr . . .

Better than Tylenol!

The weather here in Central Florida is, to be gracious, oppressive. We've reached the humidity levels that just sit upon you . . . heavy and still. The temperatures have not been terrible. We've stayed in the high 80's and low 90's which is rather nice for this time of year, but the humidity is just plain ugly.

With humidity I get headaches. They start in my head and slow tense up my shoulders which makes my back ache. I took some ibuprofin yesterday and then tried to sleep it off last night but the stupid headache dully inhabited my dreams until I woke up at 6 . . . on my own.

Not knowing what else to do, I put my running clothes and shoes on, put the dog on a leash, and walked out the door (my daughter decided to spend the week with Nana while the other one is at camp). I walk/jogged about 3/4 of a mile. Not bad for the first time out in two weeks. And by the end of the walk through what felt like a hot sticky swamp (even at 6:30 AM), my headache was gone.

Hmmm . . .

The Update You've All Been Waiting For . . . Or Not!

I hate to admit the truth here, but I've become lazy. I haven't done ANYTHING! No running. No walking. Occasional stretches. I've taken on the half-baked approach to life again. Totally sitting on the fence watching my muscles forget what I had taught them. I've got some health stuff going on and I know that's part of it, but it's not an excuse. I'm being lulled into complacency, watching my rear expand and my mind muddle. It's over 100 degrees here and I don't even enjoy stepping out my door. My neighbor has had to stop running to care for her mother. My oldest daughter is going to camp this week so if I do anything it will be with a 7-year-old in tow. Bear with me, my friends, as I renew my desire to want to lose these 10 pounds by August, as I want to learn to discover peace and tranquility from the pavement, as I want to learn what it means to be wholly healthy. But in the meantime I'd appreciate your support.

Must go make breakfast and go to church and preach about discipline. Geesh, I hate it when the gospel speaks to my life! (just kidding!)

Doctor's Reply

I went to see my chiropractor today and he said the reason he quit running was because of that very same injury. It's tendonitis at the place where 3 tendons come together around the hamstring. But we talked about what I could do because (oddly) I really want to run. And I really want to run outside because I think that I get the feeling of peace because I'm out in nature. I hide within my artificial lights, computer, etc. way too much and I need the outdoors. So here's the plan (beginning tomorrow): I will put a heating pad on my knee when I wake up to warm up my muscles, tendons, etc. Then I will stretch -- hamstring stretches are the most important. Then I will do a brisk walk for a few days while I heal. After my walk I will stretch again and then, while sipping water, I will put a cool pack on my knee. I'm excited about getting back out there, even if it is brisk-walking, and this time I will bring my dog along with me. I know she'll enjoy it. My neighbor is out of town again (her mom is getting chemo treatments so I don't consider it abandonment) and she's now added to our two-some her other neighbor and that neighbor's high school aged son who is training for football. So we should have quite an exercise group!

Thanks for all of your caring responses. You are truly keeping me going this summer.

Injury

I haven't run in 2 days and it feels strange. I really want to get out there. But I've been away from home a couple of mornings (long story) and haven't motivated myself in "new surroundings" to get myself up and at 'em. To make things more complicated, I pulled something when I ran a couple of times ago and it is really hurting. My husband, the doctor-in-training, says it's tendonitis on my left knee from using it in ways I haven't used it in a long time. I stretch before I walk/jog/sprint but that doesn't change the fact that this is still new to my body and my body is adjusting. Great. So I don't know whether I should keep it up or not. Like I said, I want to, but I don't want to cause greater stress to my injury. So tonight I'll put some ice on it to reduce the probable swelling. I'm Sabbathing on Sunday anyway and I'll see if I can find a knee brace after researching if it's OK to continue running or not. Any of you runners, can you advise me? (I absolve you of medical qualifications and promise not to sue you. After all, I don't have to take your advice, right?!)

A Ritual Memorializing the Thumb

On Monday, my daughter received an orthodontic appliance to prohibit the sucking of her thumb. Yesterday, I looked into the backseat to see that she has discovered a way to insert her thumb between the appliance and the roof of her mouth. Good thing we were on the way back to the orthodontist for her sister at the time. The orthodontist made it impossible for her habit to continue. By last night, the little girl was in tears. She did not know how to go to sleep without her thumb in her mouth. I slept with her as she tossed and turned all night long, and I feel sad with her as she says goodbye to the security of her baby-hood. So I thought a ritual might be in order. I've not yet designed it, but feel it's time.

From I Corinthians 13:11 "When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways."

My daughter is, at the age of 7, still a child. But like everything in life, change is bound to happen. We grow. We develop. We change. And sometimes, life changes us. Now is the time for my daughter to give up one of those "childish ways." And it hurts. It hurts when you're 7. It hurts when you're 37 or 47 or 77! But throughout our life we have to give up childish ways. We cherish the memories of the thumb -- the cute smile that was always attached to a thumb and a blanket. We love the security that the sucking brought us, comfort of being close to Mommy, of a snuggle and a peace. And so the giving up of the thumb is a struggle as well, but it doesn't mean we have to give up the memories. It means only that we learn to trust the security and comfort of God more as we fall asleep each night. It means that we develop a new smile, just as beautiful and precious.

So as we let go of the thumb, we pray for God to hold us, like a child, so that we can grow up without our childish ways. We ask to grow as Jesus did, in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with God and other people. And we ask to do all of this in the comfort of our loving family, in the arms of a God who loves us so very much.

Oh God, take my thumb and use it to love others just as you have used it to show me love. Amen.

Don't Forget to Breathe

My jogging endurance is getting really good until I forget to breathe and then suddenly I wonder if I will, in fact, live. The advantage of jogging WITH someone is that they remind you to do such involuntary work as "breathing" and continuing to move -- all signs of life. The burn is not nearly so vicious when I take the time to both inhale and exhale. This morning I got myself out there, not knowing if my running partner would show up or not. Thankfully, she did, because she pushed me beyond our normal 1.3 miles today and yes, I jogged more like 1.5-1.7 miles with a sprint after that. Needless to say, I did not feel good. But she pointed out to me that I was "recovering" a lot faster than I was two weeks ago and it's true. Give me about a minute or two and I'm able to resume conversation again. Can you believe it, tomorrow begins my third week of exercise?! And already I'm at the point where I am jogging for longer distances. I'm so proud of myself! And my energy level is wonderful and my perspective on caring for myself and others' abilities to care for themselves is also growing/changing. I committed for a month, but I hope I can make this work for longer!

Shh . . . I like running

Even though everyone had told me that I wasn't the running type, I have to tell you I am really enjoying myself. I jogged another 1.3 miles today, sprinting at the end, and while my face turned a horrible color, it was really good to pound out my moodiness first thing in the morning. My life is in such a crazy place -- with my husband 70 miles away, my churchwork slowing down WAY too much during the summer since everyone heads north, and my kids buzzing from camp to camp -- I don't know who's coming or when I'm going. But pushing my own body is something I have a bit of control over, and the rhythmic pounding of my heart rhyming with my breath is helping me find peace in the chaos.

In the meantime, I wish I knew how to make my life less crazy. I wish I knew a way I could live with my husband AND pay the bills right now. I wish I knew what God was calling me to do and how to watch that happen. But right now I don't. So I'll keep pounding the pavement. I do enjoy it. But don't tell anybody.

A Day of Rest

OK, so the only things that rested today were muscles. I didn't run, but I drove all over Florida (or so it seemed) taking my girls to the orthodontist, etc. Since I ran so much yesterday I opted out of the morning run (not to mention I really needed the sleep!) But I did find a new form of exercise that made my arms a bit sore. My parents (whom we visited last night) got a Wii. I played Wii bowling and Wii tennis last night and my arms are a little on the sore side. I was amazed at my daughter who played Wii Boxing and she worked up a sweat fast! Way to go, Baby! My husband loves the thing and can barely move he's been playing it so much. Even my dad got into it. But here's the thing . . . while I know that the experience of everything we do is mitigated by the mind, how can you work up a sweat boxing the air? You miss the rebound of the "hit" and somehow it just doesn't make sense to me. But my husband assures me it's just like the real thing . . . that somehow you communicate to your mind that you DID "hit" something. Unreal . . . literally.

In the meantime, I'm going to hit some "real" pavement tomorrow. Again I'll jog the whole thing. I'll let you know about it if I live through it.

Jogging with Jesus

Here's today's sermon. You have to read to the end to find out about my running experience this morning. :o)

Genesis 22:1-18 and Matthew 10:37-42

The Lord Will Provide (Sundaes on Wednesday)

I headed out of the church a couple of days ago, thinking about my sermon for today. As I pulled to the end of the drive, preparing to turn towards town, I noticed our marquee which had just been changed, and I began to laugh uncontrollable. I don’t know if any of you noticed it or not. (There’s a picture of it in your newsletter!) The marquee says, plain as day, “The Lord Will Provide Sundaes on Wednesday July 9.” I sent a picture of our sign to my clergy friends around the country. Within days, I had responses asking if the Lord would provide Sundaes for them as well, as the heat around the country is pretty astounding! One of my friends commented – “It’s like free cone day at Ben & Jerry’s only it’s the Lord!” I’ve even discussed our sign with one of the ICU nurses at Highlands Regional. It’s a great discussion starter.

In the readings for today, we discover the meaning of blind faith. Abraham hears God’s call to take Isaac and sacrifice him as an offering to God. And he set out to do exactly what God had asked him to do, not knowing why, not knowing that God would save his son at the last minute. In the Gospel according to Matthew, we discover the cost of following Jesus as we too are asked to enter into the covenant call of faith which often seems absolutely absurd. We are asked to love the Christ more than our own family members. In other words, we are to be willing to let go of that which is most important to us if we want to call ourselves followers of Christ. Matthew’s Gospel even goes so far as to say, “whoever does not take up the cross to follow me is not worthy of me.” Jesus spoke these words before his own crucifixion. He was being real with those who wished to follow him. Jesus was letting them know that to follow him was radical enough that they would, most likely, be killed.

Why are our churches as full as they are? Because we want to skip ahead to the place where the ram comes into view and the sacrifice is no longer necessary. We want the promise of eternal life. We want the ice cream sundae with the cherry on top, that’s why people gather. We want it to be known here and around the world that the Lord will provide!

(at this point, we’ll get interactive as I tell the story. Practice: (me) “Abraham thought,” (kids) “How wonderful!” (choir) “I have followed God!” (congregation) “Now I can receive my blessing!”)

Abraham started out living life in hopes of the ice cream sundae with the cherry on top too. In faith he walked through the desert, leaving behind family, and came to the place where the Lord provided for him. He thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing!” But Sarah, his wife, did not conceive the child that was promised him. So he set about helping God fulfill God’s promise by doing as Sarah instructed and sleeping with her servant, Hagar. Soon Hagar conceived and bore him a son, and he thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing (of descendents as many as the stars)!” But with Abraham’s new attachment to his son, Sarah and Hagar began to argue over who was the most important to Abraham, and for the safety of the child, God sent Hagar and her son to live elsewhere. And Abraham was childless yet again. But his faith must not have dissipated there because some messengers from God came to Abraham and told him that Sarah would conceive a son in her old age, and she did. And once again Abraham thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing!” But then Abraham heard God’s voice to take his son into the wilderness, to an altar 3 days away, and sacrifice him. He heard God’s voice telling him to kill his own son. And Abraham, who loved God and revered God more than his own son . . . Abraham, whose faith had brought him through hard time after hard time after hard time . . . Abraham left once again for the place God would lead him, and prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice, a sacrifice we today cringe to think about, a sacrifice we would easily see as insanity in our culture, a sacrifice that would make the news as a tragedy saved when Child & Family Services stepped in. Abraham began to make his altar. He placed his son upon the rock and took out his knife, instilling fear in his child . . . fear that no child should know. And then the Lord provided . . . the Lord provided a way out for both Abraham and Isaac. And Abraham, through tears of relief, thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing.” And he did. But by that time, he realized and God realized that Abraham’s life was no longer about walking in faith to receive a blessing. Rather, he came to experience God’s provision at the moment as enough. Abraham, long before the days of Christ, experienced Grace. He received a gift that he knew was not due him. He acknowledged the reality that nothing mattered except God, and he followed, believing that God knew what was best. The blessing that Abraham sought was no longer important. The fact that God’s will would be done throughout eternity was all that mattered.

We hear Abraham’s story and we realize the extent of blind faith that is needed when we enter into this covenant between ourselves and God. When Jesus said, “37Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me,” he wasn’t speaking in some metaphorical, allegorical speech. He was speaking the truth, the reality, that a covenant with God is not to be taken lightly. There will be times when God demands of us more than we might be willing to give. If we are not willing to give it, we are not living the covenant life. I’ll repeat what I just said because it is at the heart of faith-living. If we are not willing to give God ANYTHING God asks for, we are not living the covenant life.

And, like Abraham, we are to follow God not because of some blessing WE will receive, but because the One who holds the universe is eternal. God is all that matters. We are only temporal (stuck in time). The covenant life demands that we live in recognition of the awesomeness of God and that it change our priorities so that God comes before the very people we love the most.

Jesus asked his followers for everything. And they left everything, they risked everything (as we pointed out last week), to follow him. His followers wondered why they should follow him because they had been taught to follow God. And Jesus reveals his identity to them. He tells them that if they are a true disciple, they will become their teacher. They will lose their very selves and begin living the life of their teacher. And Jesus admits that’s exactly what he did. God was his teacher and he is God. The lines between Jesus and God have been erased because Jesus became so immersed in God that no distinction could be made between the two of them. He teaches his disciples that they too can follow to the point where the lines become blurred. “Whoever welcomes you, welcomes me.” In other words, if you as my students, take in all that I am and the line between us exists no more because what I believe, you believe and who I am you are. This is a different model than our current culture portrays. We offer more of a cafeteria culture – take the part that you like from this teacher and the part that you like from this teacher and become a unique individual. But in Jesus’ culture, the disciples or the “learners” had only one teacher and took all that the one teacher espoused seriously until the lines between the two of them began to fade. Because of this, Jesus is able to say, “Whoever welcomes my disciples also welcomes me.” And then he continues, “And whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me” , and the one who sent Jesus is God. And if that wasn’t enough, Jesus continues by telling about the kinds of rewards followers receive. If you represent a prophet, you’ll get a prophet’s reward. If you represent a righteous person, you’ll get a righteous person’s reward. But, if you as a disciple of Christ who comes in the name of the Holy one, offer anyone ANYTHING, even a glass of water, you have bestowed upon them the greatest blessing ever. You have offered to them God. (Repeat: If you are a true disciple of Christ, you are also a disciple of God, so anything you offer to anyone in the name of Christ is a gift, a blessing, from God.) For you are no longer offering them some reward that is way out there, you have offered to them the knowledge that the blessing of the universe is simply that God is. And you, a follower of God, have shown them that very blessing because of your covenantal relationship with God through your teacher, Christ Jesus.

But the question remains, are we willing to sacrifice it all so that God can do what God needs to do with us? With others? Like Abraham, we frequently have to live a life of trial and error. We ask, “God, have I been faithful enough for my eternal reward?” and God reminds us that even a glass of water coming from one who is in a true covenantal relationship with God is the reward. There is no need for anything else. God’s presence with us here and now is sufficient.

If any of you have been awake at 6:45 AM for the last week and a half, you’ve seen the comedy of me learning to run. My teacher is my neighbor who, ironically, is a nursing home social worker. (I guess that’s how she has the patience to work with me!) We’ve been doing a combination of walk, jog, sprint, for the past week and this morning my teacher got me to jog the whole 1.3 miles with her, finishing with a sprint. After we were finished this morning, I asked her when on earth I was going to feel the euphoria, the runner’s peace, that athletes addicted to running typically experience. She laughed, knowing that my body was aching and patting me on the back nonetheless. Reflecting on my sermon for this morning, I found that what I wanted was the reward. I had told my teacher, “Sure, I’ll follow you!” “I’ll run every morning!” And in the back of my mind I was thinking, “I really want the reward – a long lean body, a feeling of euphoria to start the day, etc.” My motivation will not get me anywhere. Why: Because my teacher is not teaching me to get to the reward. Rather, she is teaching me to endure the stubborn aches and pains of my body as it pounds across the pavement. I run because my teacher asks me to. And I know that my teacher will push me beyond where I think I am capable of going, yet I will still continue to follow. And that should be enough of a reward for me. That IS the peace. Following Christ is the same way. If we are always looking ahead for the reward that awaits us – a gold crown in heaven, a hearty “thank you” from the person we helped, a pat on the back from our congregation, even eternal life, we’ve missed what our teacher, Jesus, is calling us to do and to be. The journey of running alongside Christ Jesus is reward enough. Though we know our teacher will ask us to go beyond what we ever thought possible, doing things like giving up everything to which we are attached, still we continue to follow. And if we are willing to sacrifice all other passions in our life for the experience of being taught by the Holy One, it will be enough. For even the glass of water we are able to offer our neighbor will be the holiest of moments.

Speed It Up!

I jog/ran today, with a bit fewer walks. My neighbor came home yesterday and pushed me hard. It's 10 AM and I'm feeling pretty good still. But I can tell my calves are going to hurt. They were already talking to me. It feels good to get out there and blow off steam. Someone in the church died yesterday and I'll be doing the funeral tomorrow. With such a quick turn around time and two sermons to still write before Sunday, we'll just say my stress level is a bit on the higher side. But the running helps. I'm going to do it again tomorrow morning as I will definitely need it. It's so nice to have an outlet with a neutral/non-church member person. I'm really going to miss her. She spent our time (when she could breathe) talking about how some families rub off on others and her daughter, who spent most of the week with cousins, is now hitting and back talking and a bunch of other things Mom & Dad will now have to re-teach. It's amazing how one week can effect kids so much. I talked about how busy our summer's been. It seems as if there are "plans" every single day of the summer, and while the kids are enjoying focused time, I think it's important to have down time too. I've alternated the kids' camp schedules this year (they each get two weeks somewhere but never on the same week) so I can have some one on one time with each kid. That's been nice. But the driving back and forth to camps at the crack of dawn reminds me why I homeschool. I hate, no I mean HATE, the morning rush!

Enough for now. I must go prepare for a funeral . . . again.

Nada

My exercise yesterday was helping my daughter clean her room. I actually sweated. But I haven't jogged/run/walked since Tuesday and I've missed it. My stress level has been high and I've been exhausted which just shows me I NEED to run, but my neighbor is STILL not home! I'd be worried except I've seen her dad checking on things a few times. It's hard to get started without an accountability partner who is going to be knocking on your door at 6:30 AM. In the meantime, I'll try to figure out how to deal with my stress on my own. The crazy part is that I don't know where my stress is coming from. I don't know why I keep getting tension headaches. Usually it means I'm thinking about something way back in my sub-conscious. Guess I'll try to listen and let it be . . .

Running Solo

Well, my neighbor was supposed to get home last night, but she's still not home so I got up and ran alone today. I did our "normal" 1.3 mile route and pushed myself a bit harder since it was just me and I was feeling up to it. I added a second sprint and jogged a bit more than usual. I returned home alive and well. I have another headache coming on so I'm working on rehydrating. No blisters today (I had one after the last run) so I guess I got my shoes on the right feet this time (just kidding.) Now I'm just tired, but energized, if that makes any sense. Next hurdle, the dishes in the kitchen.

The Worship Marathon

I didn't run this morning since my running partner is out of town, but I did lead worship which is usually a marathon in itself. It was my first Sunday back after vacation which usually means I hear about everything that went wrong while I was gone. But today was rather mild. I preached a really good sermon based on Matthew 10 which is not an easy text to preach from. It was also the first Sunday back for the three who had gone on a mission trip to the Gulf to rebuild after Hurricane Katrina and they were full of stories and that degree of gratitude that usually only comes when you realize God has used you to make a difference in someone's life. In addition to that, I was able to tell someone whose water had been turned off that the church was willing to pay the full amount needed to turn her water back on. I was really impressed because those helping didn't even know who she was, yet they were willing to help. All of this takes me back to my goal for the church, made at the beginning of the year. I wanted to help the church view itself as more than just a worshiping community, but also as a community blessed by God to change the world. And I see this happening. It is such an honor to guide these people, and to be refreshed in order to see the vision of where we are going together. Vacation helped give me some perspective on everything. Running is also helpful to me to clear out the stress. Tomorrow I won't be pounding the pavement again (my neighbor is still out) but I may go for a swim and I'll definitely stretch. I'm amazed that even the muscles in my belly and back are sore! I expected my feet muscles and leg muscles, but not my neck muscles and muscles that I didn't even know I had! I'm actually excited about going again!

Running, Day 2

Yep, I did it again and still didn't mind it that much. Actually, today I didn't spring at all because I had a horrible migraine last night and ended up tossing my cookies (of which I ate none, thank you very much) and then tossing and turning until I could finally sleep around 2 AM. We're thinking I was dehydrated even though I assure you I drank water all day long. My muscles just are working continuously and yes, I am sore. New body, here I come. Healthy body, here I come. Tomorrow morning is my day off as I have to prepare for services and my neighbor is house hunting. I may do something on my own on Monday just to keep me working at this. In the meantime, I am extremely hungry and hit exhaustion by early afternoon. Thanks for cheering me on, my friends. This is all good.

Running, Day 1

I did it! My neighbor met me at 6:30 AM this morning, both of us trying to beat the heat and get through with the run before the kids woke up. She made me stretch for a long time and I had muscles that obviously hadn't been used in quite some time asking me what the heck I was doing using them again. Then we power walked/jogged/and in the end sprinted before the cool down and the stretch again. I ended up being outside for a good hour, but only about half of that time was I cardio-ing. Right now I'm still feeling that sensation of peacefulness, but I can already feel a few muscles talking to me. I sure hope I'll be able to get up and do it again tomorrow. While I didn't "love" it, I didn't mind it all that much either. See, she taught me to breathe and to focus on my breathing, much like labor. I figured, "hey, I've been in hard labor for longer than a half hour, I can do this." And I did. It helps that I actually had some really good labor experiences in the past and that I birthed naturally. That experience (besides making me a mother) taught me that I can handle much more than I ever thought was possible. I guess running is the same way. It's like an empowering thing. I can ask, "How much more can I do?" And then I can surprise myself by actually accomplishing it. So I focused on short goals and on my breath. I tried to slow my breathing when it was getting harder (reminding myself of those amazing Buddhist monks who meditate so deeply that they actually slow their heart rate . . . if only my prayers were so intense!) When the mailbox one house away seemed too large a goal, I focused on the branch two steps ahead of me. And it sure did help to have a friend along with me. She was quite encouraging, but wouldn't let me quit either. So I'll be up at 6:30 AM tomorrow too. (she's giving me Sunday off as they are going house hunting -- I'm not looking forward to her moving!) Feeling good. K.T.