Fisherman Poser

I did something different this weekend -- I took one of the women in my church on a spiritual retreat. She had some really big questions to weed through and I wanted to see how being the spiritual director fit me. I enjoyed it, though it was exhausting and seriously intense. Guess that's part of the leadership thing -- I had to be thinking in a deep way for 2 days straight. We took a break to wander around Borders for a few hours and that loosened me up a bit, but WOW it was intense. So anyway, one of the stories she shared with me really spoke to me. She said that after her mother had died, she would go down to the lake to sit and meditate. But constantly, someone would come up to her and interrupt her -- as if sitting alone wasn't acceptable. Now, that was nice of that someone and all, but there are times when we do need quiet and solitude. So, she decided to buy a fishing pole and go pretend to fish, knowing that people tend to respect silence when one is fishing. Sure enough, she got her peace and quiet. But a game warden came up to her and asked to see her fishing license. She explained that she didn't have one and that she wasn't fishing. She pulled up her line and showed the weights only -- no hook and no bait. Then she explained that she just wanted solitude and this was the only way she could be left alone. The game warden got a big kick out of that and waved every time she went back to the lake to "fish."

Now, I too got a big laugh over this, but moreso, I was struck by the spiritual significance in the story. how many of us are so sick of the church and its ways of "perfection" that we don our "Christian" clothes to go pose as if we fit in to the church? We do so so that people will leave us alone. As long as they assume we're Christians, they won't bug us about what we believe or how we are or aren't following God. Sometimes I think there is a whole subculture that proclaims the gospel of "fitting in" and "doing good." But Christianity is about more than that and we can't just pose as fishermen or fisherwomen. So how can we be authentically Christian without having to buy a fishing pole to fit in? We can be ourselves. God calls us as we are. God calls us to be ourselves. Sometimes "ourselves" are fickle and "trash mouthed" and sometimes "ourselves" wear less-than-perfect clothes and act in less-than-perfect ways. We don't need to pretend to have it all together. We don't need to pretend to have all of the answers. We don't need to pretend to agree with everything that the pastor says or that our fellow Christians say. We need only to, out of the depths of our hearts, seek the Lord where God may be found. And it's not always where you think it might be.