Autumnal Ugliness

I love the fall, don't get me wrong, but here in Arbuckle Creek, FL it amounts to some breezes to offset the intense August heat that remains. I welcome the breezes, but I do NOT (yes, I realize I screamed "not") welcome plastic orange and yellow leaves used in decorating lawns. I drove by a house yesterday to see a mailbox covered in those ugly things. Sure they brighten up the block, but have they realized that they are living in FL, the home of the "green" autumn? Can't they see that plastic leaves are truly a mixed metaphor in this setting? I was fine with the scarecrow in their front yard. After all we do have hay around here and even some crow-like birds. Pumpkins also are fine. But please, excuse me if I avert my eyes when coming face to face with false-y leaves. I am so embarrassed!

Hair and Small Town Connections

I got my hair cut today! For those of you who haven't seen me in awhile, I was wearing it long, but because of a bad highlighting job my hair was breaking all over the place so I fell in love with the new Katie Holmes bob and suddenly it's on my head. (to my friend Dixie: I really hope it's not a helmet style! You've got me paranoid about my own hair now!) Anyway, it took me a couple of years here before I trusted anybody to cut my hair. I was afraid I was going to get a beehive and, well, that's just not my style (but it works for our choral director). Last year I finally found just the person and when I walked in, she asked me a couple of questions and it turns out she had been one of my daughter's daycare workers when we had first moved here. Small town. I was talking to my secretary this morning who was raised in this little place and when I told her who cuts my hair she asks, isn't that the girl who married my friend so-and-so's brother? Turns out, she was right. Small town. I finish getting my haircut and treat myself to Arby's and while there I see our substitute musician (also a dentist's wife) and a member of my congregation and we strike up a really nice conversation. Small town. From there I went to the chiropractor's office (you know, my social hangout) and on the table next to mine (it's open adjusting) was the woman who works at my bank. We too struck up a nice conversation amidst the popping and cracking of our adjustments. Small town. I went over to the gym to pick up the girls and ran into an "occasional" church go-er who fell in love with my hair and then the coach stopped mid-sentence with 100 kids to compliment my hairstlyle. It felt good to be recognized.

In a small town, there's really nowhere you can go to "get away" from people except your own home. And really, unless you're mad at the world, that's not a bad thing. It's nice to be seen and to be known. We all crave that. Sure, there are some days we'd like anonymity, but that's what the internet is for. In the real world, it's nice to be identified. When I lived in the city I still yearned to be known and I was -- in specific places. But here it's nice to be known, to be "found" in the crevices -- in the potholes and in the corners, in the bank drive through and in the Dollar General and walking down the street in my own neighborhood. And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where all the women drive golfcarts, the men are blatant carnivores (EAT MORE BEEF!) and the children watch for alligators in their backyards.

The Umbrella Goes WHERE?

Some like umbrellas in their drinks. Others carry them around "just in case" it starts to rain. Then there are those who choose to listen to the sounds of the waves on the beach under the cover of a nice beach umbrella, saving their skin from UV damage. But here in Arbuckle Creek, I've discovered a new use for umbrellas. Just the other day I was driving down the road when I saw a man on his riding lawn mower with a HUGE patio umbrella attached, the kind you'd find attached to someone's picnic table. I can't remember if it had fringe or not, but it was that kind -- a "designer" umbrella attached to a lawn mower. Talk about ingenuity!!! Now, it wasn't raining. I'm sure the sole purpose of that umbrella was to shield its rider from the sun, but the absurdity of the moment struck my funny bone.

Today was a really busy day -- with old ladies upset by change, young people having a hard time believing in God when bad things have happened, and grief, lots of grief that just won't let go of people. It's all in a day's work, but at times the emotional immensity is a big burden to carry. And so I ask you, my friends, for some prayers for these people who mean the world to me . . . my congregation. I guess that's why I shared the umbrella story -- I needed to have a "light point" today.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where all the women drive golf carts, the men are blatant carnivores (EAT MORE BEEF!) and the kids watch for alligators in their backyards.

More Country "Hang Outs"

Where do you hang out when most "places" are closed for the summer or are a good 20 minutes drive away? Well, let me catch you up on the "hang outs" in Highlands County.

ROSERIOS PIZZA: This is almost directly across the street from the church. Roserios Pizza could be called "Cheers" because it's definitely where everybody knows your name. Darrell, the woman in charge, can connect people like no one I've ever seen. One days I was eating the pizza (which is good, by the way -- I recommend the cheeseburger pizza -- EAT MORE BEEF! ya know?!) Anyway, while I was eating I was listening to Darrell. She's from Boston and has the accent and everything (didn't I say this place was Cheers?) Darrell asks a couple where they are from as she pretty much knows everyone who comes in. Turns out there from some suburb of Las Vegas and have just moved within the week. She welcomes them and then connects them to another couple 2 tables down who just happens to be moving to the same suburb of Las Vegas in the next 2 weeks. The people connect immediately and soon the table of 2 becomes a table of 4. I'd say this was coincidence except it happens CONSTANTLY in there. It's so much fun to watch. She has a gift, ya know? I was waiting on my pizza there last week while being stressed out about the lack of wedding know-all and working on the homily. She comes by and within minutes I'm feeling better about what I have to do because she has so much good stuff to say about the bride and groom because, of course, she knows everybody. The only draw back for this place is that it is only open Wednesday through Saturday and they close for a month every year. Oh, and did I mention they also rent DVD's from the closet?

THE WATERING HOLE: This place is the hang out "in town" (that's a 20 minute drive) that is known for their bar. I can't say I've been there for that reason but I know many people who consider their bar the best place to meet singles. To be perfectly honest, I don't know what people in Highlands County look for in their couples if they are there to pass out (which seems to be the chief end of things -- not a nice buzz but literally to make themselves sick . . . to each his own, right?) Though, from what I've seen, people are mostly looking for someone who drives a gas guzzling truck -- if it's been jacked up, even better. This is, after all, redneck heaven. But I'm not nay-saying the Watering Hole. They boast some of the most incredible steaks in the state of FL (EAT MORE BEEF!) and, for entertainment value, they have a live alligator in captivity (with an interesting past life) and a host of peacocks. It is pretty impressive for the Middle of Nowhere, FL.

AFFINITY HEALTH PROFESSIONALS: My favorite non-eating hang out is Affinity Health Professionals. It's a chiropractic office. Initially I went because my husband went, but before long I learned that the staff is ALL my age or younger. In other words, it's one of the only places in the county that is not aged. Even the doctor is a couple of months younger than I am. I've experienced great health through chiropractic and acupuncture and even the massage there so I am a "regular" in their office. But really, what drew me, was the social life. (I know, too funny! KT discovers her social life at the chiropractic office!) I feel like I'm part of their family. They expect me when I get my stress headaches around funerals or church business meetings. And I offer my services in the sense of being available to offer people help with spiritual wellness. It is well worth your time if you're ever in the Arbuckle Creek area.

So that's the news for today from Arbuckle Creek -- where all the women drive golf carts, the men are blatant carnivores, and the children watch for alligators in their backyards.

The Meeting Ground

Every small town has it's meeting ground . . . you know, the place where people get together to hook up or to catch up on all things new under the sun. Arbuckle Creek has a few of those places. Today I went to one of them -- Publix. That's right, the grand supermarket located only about 20 minutes from my house is THE place to meet people. Well, let's just say it's where 30-somethings congregate; it's also where 80-somethings congregate. I can't tell you how many pastoral visits I've made in Publix. I'm like, "Hi, so and so! It's so good to see you! You're buying eggs today? Me too! Wow!" Actually, conversations go a bit deeper than that, but the eggs make a great conversation starter.

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with every family that had been in my 8 year old's 2nd grade class in only ONE stop! Unbelievable! We cart around to the back and what do you know, there is my daughter's teacher's son. As we back track, trying to find his mother, we run into one of her best friends' dads -- out to lunch with a couple of co-workers. Did they go to some really fancy restaurant? No way, Jose, (I hope that's not a racist phrase! Excuse me if it is!!!) they went to Publix! Which makes sense because he's something like an underwriter for agrarian real estate or something like that. So we caught up, then rounded the corner where we found her 2nd grade teacher and began talking. She too will be homeschooling in the fall so we're already looking for ways to connect during the schoolyear. We finally get to the check out lane where I see the former pastor of my church sitting in what I call the "waiting room" of Publix. If you've ever wondered what that row of chairs is at the front, it's where all of the retired men go sit while they wait for their wives. It's a WONDERFUL place to make church visits! The church men aren't so bored and enjoy having someone to talk to while their wives are choosing between Tide and ALL detergents. We begin to head over to the pharmacy (my daughter has an ear infection) and low and behold there stands 2 more parents from my daughter's class last year. We briefly catch up on their summer and everyone gets a few more hugs and finally we get to the pharmacy and pick up the antibiotics necessary for the future of my daughter's hearing health. (by the way, the doctor told me not to use Q-tips in her ears. Did you know that? Evidently, if it scratches the skin, even slightly, and then water gets in there, fluid builds and it can become infected. NEVER knew that!)

OK, well, I told you that I ran into connections from her WHOLE class last year. She only had 4 kids in her class and there's one more I didn't mention, but that's OK because the other "meeting ground" in my neck of the woods is the hospital. I'm serious. I go there frequently 1) because they have free coffee and 2) because my church members like to keep me on my feet. Anyway, the other girl in her class's father is an oncologist so I caught up with him on my hospital visit yesterday. Aside: we have a 2nd hospital that is a 7th Day Adventist hospital and their whole cafeteria is vegatarian -- WAY cool reason to go to the hospital in Sebring . . . unless you're one of those carniverous males!

I'll save the other "meeting places" for the future, but, if you happen in my part of the world, know that they are 1) Roserios Pizza; 2) The Watering Hole; and 3) Affinity Health Professionals. I'll say more about that tomorrow.

And that's the news from Arbuckle Creek: where all the women drive golf carts, the men are blatant carnivores (EAT MORE BEEF!) and the children watch for alligators in their backyards.

Not Your Normal Drive Thru

I had a visit to make today so I dropped the girls off at a church member's house to the East of the church (ranch/lake territory). The church members have a beautiful house on the lake -- a country house with a wrap around porch, beautifully hand-landscaped because they have lots of time. They're retired. But anyway, that's not what I'm writing about. I dropped off the girls and headed back to the golf community on the other side of the church to visit with a woman who wants to join the church. On the way back to pick up the girls, I saw a drive thru barn -- that's the best way I know to explain it. Since we have no food in the house and I hate shopping at the Dollar General for food and supporting Con-agra, I decided that the girls and I would pick up some food for dinner at the drive thru barn. I picked up the girls and we headed to the drive thru barn. I don't know how else to explain it except that there is a big barn that you drive into and inside is the equivalent of a gas station super mart . . . with yummy paninis. So they handed me a gallon of milk, a LARGE sweetened ice tea, a steak and cheese panini (eat more beef!) and a corn dog, fritos, and barbecue sandwich for the young'uns. They just handed it to me through the window -- WAY cool! And while I waited for the food to cook, we listened to country radio in the barn while taking in our surroundings of tobacco products, alcohol of many varieties, used DVDs, motor oil, candy bars, and dairy products. It was an adventure like no other (with really good paninis). And that is the news from Arbuckle Creek: where all the women drive golf carts, the men are carnivores (eat more beef!) and the children watch for alligators in the backyard.

Arbuckle Creek?

Arbuckle Creek is less than a mile from the church where I pastor. I live in both a rural area and a retirement/golfing community. It's a strange combination -- the two seemingly different populations. To the West of my church is a community built along 3 golf courses. Neighbor knows and cares for neighbor. Golf carts whiz by at breakneck speeds (5 MPH) and as you drive by the driving range, it's necessary to keep the moon roof on your car closed. To the East of my church is a combo ranching/lakeside community with a few mobile home parks thrust in for winter visitors. Cattle line the roads of beautiful green pastureland, huge Live Oaks, and Arbuckle Creek. The Istopoga Lake is known for good fishing and beautiful views. It's not unusual to catch site of alligators sunning on the marshlands. And so I name my blog "The News from Arbuckle Creek" where all the women drive golf carts, the men are blatant carnivores (EAT MORE BEEF), and the children avoid alligators in their backyards.