Just Me and My Girl

My daughter has tonsilitis or strep throat. Needless to say, she's not let me get out of her sight much . . . not to run, not to go to work, nada. But I'm enjoying the few days I have to be just plain Mommy. My older daughter is staying over at a friend's house so that she doesn't catch whatever this yukky stuff is. Today seems to be a better day than yesterday. She's able to swallow liquids thanks to Tylenol and antibiotics. She's still feverish, but able to play independently for short spurts of time unlike yesterday when she just needed to be in my lap. I love being Mom.

Running From the Rain

Sorry I've not posted this week. It's been VBS week which means lots of early mornings and exhausted evenings. I also didn't run during VBS because I had an extra 2 kids in my house. Each of my girls had a friend stay over for the week and while it made some things easier (they each were entertained throughout the day) I swear I spent a ton of time in the kitchen feeding four children. I found myself planning meals complete with vegetables and even got one little friend to eat broccoli cole slaw willingly despite the fact that her mother insists she won't touch broccoli. (Am I sneaky or what?!)

Anyway, when I finally sent the "extra" kids home on Friday, I got my husband back for the weekend and he and I got to go on dates and catch up on life without the kids. It was a great way to start the weekend. Then Saturday night after we put the kids to bed, he asks if I'd like to walk around the block with him. His walk around the block is 2.5 miles whereas, if you remember, my runs have been less than 2 miles. Well, we get the girls situated and safe with the phone nearby and take the dog around the block. I began jogging at my normal slow pace (equivalent to his slow walk -- darn those long legs) and was doing pretty well. About the time we hit the halfway point we realize that the clouds overhead are quickly coming together, meaning we expect an all out thunder storm. We decide to pick up the pace a bit and my slow jog begins to match his quicker-paced walk. Then the rumbles start and lightning starts to flash across the sky and I'm thinking a fast paced jog isn't such a bad idea. By the time we hit our street, the wind is blowing a combination of hot and cold and it's obvious the heavens are about to break loose so I decide to sprint home. My husband and the dog aren't far behind me.

All in all I did quite well -- probably jogged 2 miles -- and much of that at a higher speed than normal. Oddly, I did all of this not in my running shoes but in my daughter's generic pair of crocs which are extremely comfortable. My husband and I enjoyed our adventure "out" and were happy to get home still dry and un-singed by the electrical storm that was brewing all-too close.

My trip to Pennsylvania is now a little less than a month away and I still haven't lost my 10 pounds. However I feel that I am making some healthier choices little by little. The craziness of a summer schedule has been a challenge for sure. So I won't be wearing a new skimpy dress when I deplane in Philly (sorry to disappoint you, friends) but I should have more energy than usual. Time will tell.

Running and Old People

My dog woke me up this morning to go running, and I did. Yes, pat me on the back. We went a bit further than yesterday but not quite as far as my 1.7 miles I'd say I'm up to about 1 mile now. I walked, jogged, and finished with a sprint. My knee is feeling OK, but I'm still mighty cautious with it. I think the best part of this exercise thing is that it makes me breathe.

But what I'm really writing about today is the need to complain. Actually, after today, I feel like I need to run for about an hour. I met with my CE chair this afternoon to plan Christian Education for the fall which, in a congregation of 5 kids is much more complicated than it needs to be. Anyway, she mentioned to me that one of my older members (who knows to come to me if she has a problem . . . we've been through this more than once) is upset because I told the session last winter (winter 2007) that I would be asking for a raise for 2009. Yes, I gave them a year to consider. She's upset because she believes, with the economy the way it is, that I should take a pay cut. So here's the situation: I took a pay cut two and a half years ago with the understanding from a few people that they would try to make up the budget deficit so I could recoup. what was cut the following year. Two years have passed and I haven't gotten even a cost of living increase. To make things more interesting, we've not had a budget deficit in two years. We've been able to come out in the black both years AND even make up the deficit from that very bad year. Fundraisers have helped with this, but the truth of the matter is . . . we're in good shape financially. Add to that a series of people joining the church and things are looking good. But she's upset and is starting rumors about my request for a raise before it's even gone through the session. Hear me out . . . it gets better. My student loans come due in January -- I have no more deferment options left. And they come due at $400/month. That's not a small sum. Add to that gas at $4/gallon (as opposed to $2 and change when I last got a raise) and I'm already working at a deficit. Am I doing my job? Yes. Sure, it's slow right now, but we've actually had quite a few in worship . . . I've made many hospital and home calls . . . I officiate at a memorial service on Sunday . . . and our income is pretty good for summer. I realize I am going to have to confront her on this issue . . .before it makes its way to who knows who?! So I feel as if I must run my heart out tomorrow morning just to re-teach myself to breathe . . . and maybe I'll pray for my enemies while I run. Novel idea. Grrr . . .

Better than Tylenol!

The weather here in Central Florida is, to be gracious, oppressive. We've reached the humidity levels that just sit upon you . . . heavy and still. The temperatures have not been terrible. We've stayed in the high 80's and low 90's which is rather nice for this time of year, but the humidity is just plain ugly.

With humidity I get headaches. They start in my head and slow tense up my shoulders which makes my back ache. I took some ibuprofin yesterday and then tried to sleep it off last night but the stupid headache dully inhabited my dreams until I woke up at 6 . . . on my own.

Not knowing what else to do, I put my running clothes and shoes on, put the dog on a leash, and walked out the door (my daughter decided to spend the week with Nana while the other one is at camp). I walk/jogged about 3/4 of a mile. Not bad for the first time out in two weeks. And by the end of the walk through what felt like a hot sticky swamp (even at 6:30 AM), my headache was gone.

Hmmm . . .

The Update You've All Been Waiting For . . . Or Not!

I hate to admit the truth here, but I've become lazy. I haven't done ANYTHING! No running. No walking. Occasional stretches. I've taken on the half-baked approach to life again. Totally sitting on the fence watching my muscles forget what I had taught them. I've got some health stuff going on and I know that's part of it, but it's not an excuse. I'm being lulled into complacency, watching my rear expand and my mind muddle. It's over 100 degrees here and I don't even enjoy stepping out my door. My neighbor has had to stop running to care for her mother. My oldest daughter is going to camp this week so if I do anything it will be with a 7-year-old in tow. Bear with me, my friends, as I renew my desire to want to lose these 10 pounds by August, as I want to learn to discover peace and tranquility from the pavement, as I want to learn what it means to be wholly healthy. But in the meantime I'd appreciate your support.

Must go make breakfast and go to church and preach about discipline. Geesh, I hate it when the gospel speaks to my life! (just kidding!)

Doctor's Reply

I went to see my chiropractor today and he said the reason he quit running was because of that very same injury. It's tendonitis at the place where 3 tendons come together around the hamstring. But we talked about what I could do because (oddly) I really want to run. And I really want to run outside because I think that I get the feeling of peace because I'm out in nature. I hide within my artificial lights, computer, etc. way too much and I need the outdoors. So here's the plan (beginning tomorrow): I will put a heating pad on my knee when I wake up to warm up my muscles, tendons, etc. Then I will stretch -- hamstring stretches are the most important. Then I will do a brisk walk for a few days while I heal. After my walk I will stretch again and then, while sipping water, I will put a cool pack on my knee. I'm excited about getting back out there, even if it is brisk-walking, and this time I will bring my dog along with me. I know she'll enjoy it. My neighbor is out of town again (her mom is getting chemo treatments so I don't consider it abandonment) and she's now added to our two-some her other neighbor and that neighbor's high school aged son who is training for football. So we should have quite an exercise group!

Thanks for all of your caring responses. You are truly keeping me going this summer.

Injury

I haven't run in 2 days and it feels strange. I really want to get out there. But I've been away from home a couple of mornings (long story) and haven't motivated myself in "new surroundings" to get myself up and at 'em. To make things more complicated, I pulled something when I ran a couple of times ago and it is really hurting. My husband, the doctor-in-training, says it's tendonitis on my left knee from using it in ways I haven't used it in a long time. I stretch before I walk/jog/sprint but that doesn't change the fact that this is still new to my body and my body is adjusting. Great. So I don't know whether I should keep it up or not. Like I said, I want to, but I don't want to cause greater stress to my injury. So tonight I'll put some ice on it to reduce the probable swelling. I'm Sabbathing on Sunday anyway and I'll see if I can find a knee brace after researching if it's OK to continue running or not. Any of you runners, can you advise me? (I absolve you of medical qualifications and promise not to sue you. After all, I don't have to take your advice, right?!)

A Ritual Memorializing the Thumb

On Monday, my daughter received an orthodontic appliance to prohibit the sucking of her thumb. Yesterday, I looked into the backseat to see that she has discovered a way to insert her thumb between the appliance and the roof of her mouth. Good thing we were on the way back to the orthodontist for her sister at the time. The orthodontist made it impossible for her habit to continue. By last night, the little girl was in tears. She did not know how to go to sleep without her thumb in her mouth. I slept with her as she tossed and turned all night long, and I feel sad with her as she says goodbye to the security of her baby-hood. So I thought a ritual might be in order. I've not yet designed it, but feel it's time.

From I Corinthians 13:11 "When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways."

My daughter is, at the age of 7, still a child. But like everything in life, change is bound to happen. We grow. We develop. We change. And sometimes, life changes us. Now is the time for my daughter to give up one of those "childish ways." And it hurts. It hurts when you're 7. It hurts when you're 37 or 47 or 77! But throughout our life we have to give up childish ways. We cherish the memories of the thumb -- the cute smile that was always attached to a thumb and a blanket. We love the security that the sucking brought us, comfort of being close to Mommy, of a snuggle and a peace. And so the giving up of the thumb is a struggle as well, but it doesn't mean we have to give up the memories. It means only that we learn to trust the security and comfort of God more as we fall asleep each night. It means that we develop a new smile, just as beautiful and precious.

So as we let go of the thumb, we pray for God to hold us, like a child, so that we can grow up without our childish ways. We ask to grow as Jesus did, in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with God and other people. And we ask to do all of this in the comfort of our loving family, in the arms of a God who loves us so very much.

Oh God, take my thumb and use it to love others just as you have used it to show me love. Amen.

Don't Forget to Breathe

My jogging endurance is getting really good until I forget to breathe and then suddenly I wonder if I will, in fact, live. The advantage of jogging WITH someone is that they remind you to do such involuntary work as "breathing" and continuing to move -- all signs of life. The burn is not nearly so vicious when I take the time to both inhale and exhale. This morning I got myself out there, not knowing if my running partner would show up or not. Thankfully, she did, because she pushed me beyond our normal 1.3 miles today and yes, I jogged more like 1.5-1.7 miles with a sprint after that. Needless to say, I did not feel good. But she pointed out to me that I was "recovering" a lot faster than I was two weeks ago and it's true. Give me about a minute or two and I'm able to resume conversation again. Can you believe it, tomorrow begins my third week of exercise?! And already I'm at the point where I am jogging for longer distances. I'm so proud of myself! And my energy level is wonderful and my perspective on caring for myself and others' abilities to care for themselves is also growing/changing. I committed for a month, but I hope I can make this work for longer!

Shh . . . I like running

Even though everyone had told me that I wasn't the running type, I have to tell you I am really enjoying myself. I jogged another 1.3 miles today, sprinting at the end, and while my face turned a horrible color, it was really good to pound out my moodiness first thing in the morning. My life is in such a crazy place -- with my husband 70 miles away, my churchwork slowing down WAY too much during the summer since everyone heads north, and my kids buzzing from camp to camp -- I don't know who's coming or when I'm going. But pushing my own body is something I have a bit of control over, and the rhythmic pounding of my heart rhyming with my breath is helping me find peace in the chaos.

In the meantime, I wish I knew how to make my life less crazy. I wish I knew a way I could live with my husband AND pay the bills right now. I wish I knew what God was calling me to do and how to watch that happen. But right now I don't. So I'll keep pounding the pavement. I do enjoy it. But don't tell anybody.