The Haunted Scrub Bush

OK, don't think I'm crazy or anything, but I think there is a haunted scrub bush across the street from my house. Across the street is a large, open field with one absolutely beautiful Live Oak tree, moss hanging all the way to the ground. My children call it fairyland because when you're under the tree it's as if you are in a magical wonder world. But there is a plant under the tree with great big tall leaves. I don't know what kind it is, but I do know that no matter how still the air is, the plants leaves wave at me. It's eerie, you know? Summer heat is especially heavy and still. I'll be walking the dog and look under the tree and there, waving at me, is the haunted plant. The leaves on the tree are not even wiggling. The flag next door is hanging limp on its pole. The palm tree in my yard stands stiffly, as if waiting for something to come along and whisper into it. But that plant acts as if it were "alive" in the human sense. At first I thought maybe some birds were under the plant or perhaps a garden snake lived under its canopy, but for the movement to continue day after day makes me think that perhaps it's "something" else. It doesn't scare me the way it would if a snake slithered out of it, but it does give me cause to think. Who is there? And why are they waving at me? Should I remove my shoes like Moses before the burning bush and listen for some wonderful revelation? Should I even come near? I keep my distance, offering it some respect, I suppose. In the meantime I'll just watch with perhaps a bit of fear and trembling and smile as I consider probable cause.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where all the women drive golf carts, the men are blatant carnivores (EAT MORE BEEF!), the pastors consider the source of haunted plants, and the children watch for gators in their backyards.