Weddings Gone Wild

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I had a wedding rehearsal to attend. The couple is having a Catholic wedding, but the bride is a member of my church so, thanks to a liberal-minded priest, I get to assist officiating. I've been very excited about this for some time -- you see, here in Arbuckle Creek, I just don't have many weddings to officiate. Everyone is either celebrating their 66th wedding anniversary or learning how to live alone as a widow. My church members LOVE my funerals, but they too wish for me more weddings and baptisms. So, finally, I get to help officiate a wedding -- and it's not in my church (granted, we don't really have a facility that is very accomodating for weddings) but at the Catholic church. The only thing I am not able to do in this wedding is the vows, since wedding vows are a sacrament in the Catholic church. Well, last week the priest and I did a walk through of the wedding in the chapel -- learning who would be where and when. We did this because he was not going to be at the rehearsal. Gulp! Now tell me, how is a Presbyterian pastor supposed to guide the wedding party through a Catholic wedding? Let me tell you, it was a mess. Thus today's title: Weddings Gone Wild.

It starts harmlessly as I arrive at the chapel where the Father had walked me through everything, only to discover (thanks to a wonderful secretary) that the wedding was not going to be in the chapel but rather in the much larger church. He had it written down in the church but, for some reason, had it in his mind that it was in the chapel. It's OK, I adjust, and meet the wedding coordinator. Given the assertive personality of my own wedding coordinator, I knew I was home free until she started to speak, in a very quiet voice, pointing to where she would like everyone to be. I offered her a microphone but she turned me down and the wedding party continued to giggle and tee-hee. Finally, I decided to get a bit assertive and started walking people through to where they would be, etc., but I don't know anything about when to bow, genuflect, etc. Everyone kept stating, "Father R. will tell us what to do" and I smiled as if that would be fine except for the fact that Father R. was not there now and we could not rehearse with him. I am deathly afraid of weddings gone wild and although I know that in the end the bride and the groom will be married, I just want everything to run smoothly for them and I'm a bit peaved at the nerve of the priest to just "skip out" on this rehearsal. Granted, it was his mother's 80th birthday, but then shouldn't he reschedule the rehearsal so everyone knows what to do? I don't know, I just can't help but think that I would be so very fired if I pulled soemthing like that. Guess it's a learning experience for me.

Anyway, that's the news from Arbuckle Creek, where all the women drive golf carts, the men are blantant carnivores (EAT MORE BEEF!) and the children watch for alligators in their backyards.