The News from Arbuckle Creek

Is the Christmas Story Real?

2009-12-15T06:39:00.002-05:00

I just had an e-mail from someone who asked how the Christmas story is taught in seminary, realizing that the story has strange origins. As I'm preparing his answer, I thought I'd also share it with my blog readers.

It's true, the Bible story does not match our nativity scene. Matthew and Luke write two very different stories -- Matthew tells the infancy narrative from the perspective of a geneologist who also knows prophecy -- showing the link between Jesus and Abraham, but strangely this link was through Joseph, not Mary. And Matthew's story reiterates that Jesus was conceived in Mary by the Holy Spirit of God. Then suddenly, in chapter 2, Jesus was born in Bethlehem (to fulfill the prophecy) and it's two years later and kings from the East come to visit him in Egypt (to fulfill prophecy). Matthew's telling was all about fulfilling the prophecies made to Israel.

But Luke tells the infancy narrative from a completely different perspective -- a birth story in humble setting complete with angels announcing the news to shepherds. There is no star here . . . or kings from the East.

Both of these tellings have agendas -- but what is wrong with that? Yes, there are literary agendas that state that "Greats" in history were frequently born of virgins and that angels were present, and there are prophetical agendas at play here -- Matthew's telling wants to show the fulfillment of prophecy. And we can ask -- were these written just to fit in Jesus' life to an agenda? Is the Christmas story real?

Getting lost in the details is frustrating at best, but it hides the meaning behind the story -- that whether the birth happened "actually" as it was written in Matthew or "actually" as it was written in Luke, the story tells the same thing -- that a baby was born. And for us who claim to follow Jesus, there is something special about acknowledging his birth-day. The actual day we do not know, but I think it's pretty cool that politically it was added to the calendar in the time of the Winter Solstice so that there would be a Christian agenda in a pagan world. And I think that's what we get to continue to celebrate when the consumer-culture tries to create a different holiday than we are celebrating. Christmas is about Jesus -- whether his beginnings were humble or prophetically scripted does not matter. What does matter is that the One who I believe opened the pathway for humanity to have a relationship with God -- that ONE was finally born. And that's worth a birthday party!!!!

For more detailed information, take a look at Raymond Brown's book An Adult Christ at Christmas -- here is the preview -- http://books.google.com/books?id=Co8Mh-GliPIC&dq=2+christmas+stories,+matthew+and+luke&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=5dFpHxXxUA&sig=Vwy54BC6V1F49-u4L65oB0AJVR8&hl=en&ei=oHQnS5SGHoS1tgeGwpHLCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CA8Q6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=&f=false And here is the link to purchase --

Vivian, Click Here!!!

2009-12-04T10:19:00.001-05:00

Images of Jesus needed . . .

2009-11-07T15:10:00.003-05:00

I am putting a sermon together for next week where I am hoping to talk about how we one-sidedly misconstrue our images of Jesus -- imaginging a halo-topped child in a manger or a radiant resurrected Christ all in white rather than a man who suffered, who struggled, who got dirty, who needed a bath on occasion, etc. As I am working with this concept, I am looking for images of Jesus that you can find that are more "human" and "suffering servant" than brilliant. Can you help?

Thanks.

All Saints Banner

2009-10-06T13:48:00.004-04:00

I promised I'd tell you about the All Saints Banner I made a few years ago. It's really simple to make and very meaningful as well. I wish I had a picture of it, but I don't. I have to make a new one as my church has misplaced the old one. So here is what I'm going to do.

Get a dowel about the width of most other banner rods in your church. You could use a shower curtain rod if they are easier to come by in your area. Then purchase a variety of spools of white ribbon -- grosgrain, satin, white, off-white, etc. A variety of widths is nice too and a few tulle ribbons adds a nice effect. Decide how tall you want your banner to be by measuring other banners in your church top to bottom. Then measure out ribbons that length plus 2". With a hot glue gun, attach the ribbons to the dowel (I wrap them around. If you are more of a sewing person, you can also creat loops in the tops of the ribbons to slide onto the dowel.) The ribbons should hang over the top of the dowel, all in the same direction so the pattern is something like this (see below):

-------------------------------------- (this is the dowel)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the vertical lines are the long ribbons)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (these are the bells)

To the bottom of each ribbon, I attach jingle bells.

At the All Saints service, we read the names of those who have entered the Great Cloud of Witnesses (Hebrews) the previous year and ring a bell for each name as it is read. Then we invite the widows or loved ones to come to the banner and write the name of their loved on on the banner, using a Sharpie marker. We've used black markers, but silver or gold would be nice too.

The varied ribbons give the effect of a fine curtain between this life and life everlasting. And the jingle bells are joyful noises as the banner flows.

When I talked about this banner on a blog last year, someone designed something a little different and I liked it too. They took a solid white sheet/fabric and made a loop hole for the banner rod to slide through. Then they gave out colorful ribbons for church members to write out the names of their loved ones who had passed away. These ribbons were safety pinned to the banner for a colorful/joyful effect.

Use your imagination! The possibilities are endless!

Planning for All Saints Service (end of October!)

2009-09-19T07:51:00.003-04:00

I heard this song yesterday and immediately thought, "I have got to use that in this year's All Saints service!" It's Sara Groves "What do I know" and you can download it from Amazon for 99 cents.

The idea behind the song is that there is very little we know about what happens after death. We proclaim heaven and other wonders read in the Good Book but there is little we know because we've never been there ourselves. Yet there is a hope passed along in this song. The hope is that "I know that to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord. And from what I know of Him, that must be really good." I've thought about buying the track and singing it myself because it's not too high and it's very simple. But I haven't found the track or the accompaniment score yet.

For those of you not familiar with Sara Groves, there are a couple of other songs of hers that are also awesome for All Saints services. The first is "O When the Saints"

which has a lot of meaning for me right now. A woman in her 80's told me yesterday that when she died she'd like the hymn version of this song at her memorial service while the children play tamborines down the aisle! What a celebration!!!

And the other song I'd recommend for All Saints Day is by Carrie Newcomer called "Gathering of Spirits." It is my all-time favorite!!!

In my next post I'll tell you about the All Saints Ribbon Banner that I made and how it helps us to celebrate the great cloud of witnesses!

I Saw God

2009-08-28T21:43:00.002-04:00

Sunday someone made an announcement in church that they were trying to get a group together to go visit one of the church's shut-ins for her birthday. The woman was one of the charter members of the church and has, in the last year, lost complete use of all of her limbs thanks to a debilitating muscle disease. She's confined to a wheelchair and is the equivalent of a quadrapalegic. The good news is that her mind is strong and she can communicate like nothing is wrong.

So Thursday I showed up for the birthday party, and I am so glad I did. There, in this woman's living room, were about 15 church members, a birthday cake, a balloon, and a pile of cards. As I said the Birthday Blessing, I was amazed that these people had thought to bring the church to someone's house. And I knew that I was seeing God.

Healing in the Wilderness

2009-03-22T13:31:00.001-04:00

John 3:14-21
14And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. 16“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. 17“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 19And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. 20For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. 21But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.”

Healing in the Wilderness

The ancient Hebrew people had a cleansing ritual for anyone who had gone through a soul changing event. The soul-changing events included such life events as menstruation, sex, giving birth, and observing death (http://www.shalomctr.org/node/275). To the Hebrew people, those who engaged in any of these soul-changing events would become inwardly focused. Thus, to re-engage with the community, to set their sites on something other than themselves, a ritual had to be performed. In the case of touching or observing one who had died, the one wishing to be restored to community was asked to make a red sacrifice. The sacrifice was to be made of a red cow with red blood so that the priest making the sacrifice would stare intently at the red, then close his eyes and see the color green as the mind reversed colors. (expound) Green was the sign of life – growth, newness. The idea was that as the sacrifice burned and the red smoke billowed, the individual was moved from inward focus (blood) to an outward focus on the community (life).

Today’s stories ask us to blink, to move our eyes from our internal pain to the Source of our external healing. A few weeks ago I had the stomach flu and I found myself extremely inwardly focused. All I could think about was the nausea – I could not interact with family or anyone else because I was immersed in myself – in my own pain, in my own body. The only thing that offered me any comfort, that could separate me out from my body, was the coolness of a wet washcloth on my head that forced me to look up, to breathe, to blink. And as I looked up, I was healed, able to take the focus off of my own pain and consider, instead, that there was life outside of my illness – that eventually I would emerge whole and be restored to the community of my family and my life.

The Hebrew people were dying, one by one, as snakes bit them and forced them into an internal focus. Granted, they had been internally focused before the snakes bit them – they had whined and belly-ached in the wilderness about the many ways God had failed them – they were already separating themselves from the community before the snakes started biting. But it was the snake bite that made the people ask for a ritual. It was the snake bite that made them demand of Moses that he talk to God and that God please save them. And it was the image of the snake held high that caused them to blink, that caused them to live.

In the wilderness, those dying from snakes looked up to a greater snake and were healed. A little bit idolatrous, except that we realize it helped people look up, to remove their fear of their own death and to, instead, experience the hope of God. Upon staring at the very thing that was killing them, they could blink and call forth a greater snake to heal them. We who are dying from our humanity – from the drone of sin that complicates our lives, that distracts us from what’s really important, can stare at the very thing that is killing us – our humanity – and recognize instead a greater human – one unafraid to be filled with the fullness of God – to heal us. It is not the cross itself, the instrument of torture, that becomes our saving grace, but Jesus Christ – God in flesh – who replaces the serpent held high for the Israelites.

It’s interesting that in Jesus’ discussion with Nicodemus, the very one who asks, “How can I be born again?” we also get the reference to the story in Numbers. 14And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.

In our context we understand that Jesus was lifted up on a cross as a spectacle for people to look upon. And often, when we hear the passion narrative, we look at the cross and start to feel ill much as we would if we had stared at a red sacrifice – we see a man in anguish and pain, unjustly murdered before our eyes, struggling with all he was to breathe, to live – and we hear the gruesome details of his death. But today’s scripture asks us to look at the man dying on the cross in all of its’ gruesome and gory details, and to blink, to see the reversal our mind allows us turning the red into green, into life, for only then we will be made well – to be restored to complete health. We are asked to look at the Son of Man and receive eternal life. With eyes weakened from the drug of venomous sin, we can look up, and receive eternal life.

Just as God, frustrated by the Israelites’ complaining, provided the means by which they could be healed, so God, saddened by our sinfulness, provided the means by which we could be made whole. In both cases, God loves. God loved the Israelites so much that God removed the sting of those very snakes God placed in their paths. God loved the world so much that God removed the punishment for the sin that separates us from God. God loved. And God still loves.
The words of John 3:16 are taught to us from the time we can memorize, and why? Because there is something very raw in there – a love for you and for me that is so strong that God was willing to give up God’s very self so that we would make it. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is about love – more love than you or I could ever even imagine on our own. It is the love of God that is able to refocus us – that is able to take away our inward wallowing and help us to blink, so that we can see that life is not just about us, but rather about God in community, about God working through us in community.

John 3:16 reveals to us the heart of the gospel – For God so loved the world . . . . It is this love that we are called to share with our neighbors, with our friends, with our acquaintances. The A-team is trying to teach us how easy it is to share God’s love, but also how vital it is to share God’s love. It’s easy because if we ourselves have looked up and believed in Jesus Christ ourselves, we can’t help but share what happened to us – how we were changed when we removed the focus from ourselves. And it is so vital to share God’s love because people are dying. Every one of us will agree that this world needs changing. Things are ugly out there! Metaphorical snakes are biting everywhere, forcing people to look out only for themselves and even making us focus on our own survival. But God wants to heal, to refocus minds and hearts on life; God wants us to look up. As long as we are inwardly focused, we will always be dissatisfied by the fact that no one else seems to want to live in the light. But when we look up, when we believe that Jesus can get us out of this self-focused angst, we will be healed and as such we will be able to help others look up and believe. There is healing in the wilderness

When one faces death, you can be changed or you can be paralyzed. You can call forth something more powerful or you can let the poison kill you. There is a story about a woman who, in Auschwitz, was standing in line at the gas chambers. The woman in front of her began screaming as the line got shorter and shorter – her fear was tangible. But the woman, facing the same immanent death, turned to the fear-filled woman and held her close, offering care and compassion that caused the fear-filled woman to blink, and to face her death, instead, peacefully, surrounded by the love of God in her neighbor. Our body can be harmed, but they can’t touch our spirit. May we, no matter how difficult life may be at the moment, choose to share God’s love in community so that others will look up and be healed. Amen.

Clean House and Come On In!

2009-03-15T07:30:00.002-04:00

John 2:13-25
13The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. 15Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” 17His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” 18The Jews then said to him, “What sign can you show us for doing this?” 19Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” 20The Jews then said, “This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?” 21But he was speaking of the temple of his body. 22After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken.

Clean House and Come On In!

I don’t know if your family had this rule or not, but when I was growing up it went something like this: “Before anyone can come over, the house must be picked up.” “Picked up” meant that everything was in its right place. The beds were made. The dishes were done. The floors were vacuumed. And the halls were swept. The house where I grew up was quite large so there was plenty of room to store our junk so that it was out of the way when guests came. My Mother was smart enough to suggest that the Barbie’s house was simply shelves in a closet that could be simply closed up when company came. Cleaning up was no one’s favorite chore, but for friends to come over, we engaged in its necessity.

We have the same rule at my house now – no one comes in unless the house is cleaned up. However, the house I live in today is much smaller than the house where I grew up. There is not nearly as much room to store all of the “stuff” that seems to creep into our living space everyday. But I LIKE a clean house. And my girls would really like to have friends over some time. So I began to clean. I scoured the sink and scrubbed the counters. I got rid of the sticky patches that I found on the table. I swept up the crumbs and filled up the trash can with junk mail that was still sitting around. I dusted the TV and polished the piano. And just as I started feeling pretty good about what I had accomplished, I decided to look at my clean house through the eyes of a guest, to see if they would also appreciate my hard work. Do you know what I saw? Not clean counters or a polished piano, but boxes piled with keepsakes in the corner because I hadn’t made room for them yet. I saw art supplies spilling out of our craft closet because the closet was full. I saw handprints on the glass doors to the lanai. I saw that even though I thought I cleaned my house, things still weren’t cleaned up.

Jesus traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover, joining people coming from all over. For Passover you were supposed to bring an unblemished sacrifice to atone for your sins. Remember that Old Testament story where Moses asked everyone to kill the unblemished lamb and place the blood over their door so that the angel of death would pass over them, sparing their first born? The Passover is the Jewish ritual of remembering God’s faithfulness to the Israelites at a crucial time in their history. People traveled to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover, to celebrate God’s faithfulness. But it is awfully hard to travel a long distance with an unblemished animal for your sacrifice. Animals got bruised and tired and hungry and worn. So the temple had come up with a plan to help – they would provide unblemished animals for people to buy as their sacrifices. The animals could remain at home, without blemish.

There was more to it, of course. They realized that travelers would have only the money of the Roman Empire. The money that people carried had Caesar’s face on it, thus it was considered idolatry to carry this coin into the house of God. So the temple set up tables where people could exchange their idols for temple coins so that they could enter the temple as faithful servants of the Most High God and make a pure sacrifice for Passover. The temple leaders thought they were doing the right thing – helping people come to God by having everything set up for them. They thought it was a good thing to help people get rid of their idols when they entered the temple. They thought it was a good thing to offer unblemished sacrifices for the people to have, saving their own animals the possibility of becoming blemished on the long journeys to the temple. But Jesus didn’t think it was a good thing.

Jesus turns over the tables and pours out the idol money and the temple money, pointing out the boxes that are still piled high in the corner and the crafts that are spilling out of the too-full closet. Jesus rants and raves because the handprints are still on the glass doors. Jesus takes out a whip and lets all of the unblemished sacrifices run loose! Jesus sees things for what they are – a mess, a shambles, a marketplace. And Jesus asks, “Did you really think you were doing a good thing?! Did you really think this place was cleaned up?”

Now if a man came in here, ranting and raving about something that was commonplace to us, something that had been rightly approved by the session and accepted by the congregation, would we listen to him? No! We would get on the phone with 911 and have a police officer out here in no time flat.

But the Jewish leaders listened to Jesus. I wonder why. Maybe it was because something that he said resonated with them. Maybe it was because they too felt that something was out of place. Maybe it was because they could see the boxes that were piled high in the corners, the crafts spilling out of the too-full closet and the fingerprints on the lanai door. Maybe it was because they thought that perhaps Jesus was right.

So the Jewish leaders asked Jesus to tell them why they should believe him. And he made this crazy comment about tearing the temple down and rebuilding it in three days, a comment that his disciples began to understand only later, after his death and resurrection. Only upon later reflection did the disciples understand that Jesus was talking about his own body as the temple where God lived – his own body that would be rebuilt after his death.

In 2001, a musician by the name of Karl Paulnack lived in Manhattan. He writes of heading down to the conservatory on September 12th to do what he always did. He sat down at the piano at 10 AM to begin practicing as he always did. Out of habit, without even thinking about it, he lifted the cover on the keyboard, opened his music, and set his fingers on the keys. Then he took his fingers off the keys. He writes, “I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost. And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, and in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day. At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, that same day, was singing.” (from a speech by Karl Paulnack of Boston Conservatory posted on facebook, 2009). And, as you can imagine, what was once a routine habit of daily practice became instead an expression of the soul.

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to help us see things in a different light and change our responses. Sometimes it takes a raving mad man claiming to know something only God would know. And sometimes it takes a conscious effort to open our eyes and see the boxes, the spilling crafts and the handprints that still need to be worked on.

We are still walking with Jesus through the season of Lent. One of the spiritual disciplines we can take on is the task of taking a closer look at ourselves – as individuals and as the church. What, in our lives, is just not quite right? Are there habits that we have for seemingly good reasons that we may need to examine a bit closer, asking why? Asking how God could use that time or that habit or that routine? The “A Team” (our membership and outreach committee) is asking us to invite someone to come to church with us. And in being asked that question, we have to look at ourselves a bit more. We have to reconsider why WE are here and what WE have found redeeming in Christ. What has become a routine act of coming to worship every Sunday has been tossed before us by your pastor and your session (all of us raving lunatics!) so that we take a closer look at why we are here. When we search the scriptures we discover that we have been called to share God’s love – not simply to come into worship for an hour every week but to respond to God’s love and pass it on!

It is my hope that during Lent, no matter how much you have scrubbed and swept and polished and dusted you will join me in seeing the boxes in the corner and help me find a place to store them; that you will notice the crafts spilling out of the craft closet and help me clean it up; that you will see the fingerprints on the glass doors and take a few moments with me to wipe them off; that you will notice your fingers on the keys and play from the heart; that you will hear God’s voice to you while you are here and decide, with me, that our faith is much too important to keep to ourselves. I hope, with me, you will decide to share God’s love with someone else.

Amen.

"early" musings

2009-03-12T23:22:00.003-04:00

It is Thursday night and I am posting my "early" musings for Sunday's sermon. I suppose I should be further along than "early" musings, but I'm not. So here goes.

The scripture for Sunday is Jesus' cleansing of the temple. He wanders up to the temple and sees people exchanging regular money for the temple money (because they can't have Caesar's picture inside the temple -- it would be idolatry.) But Jesus is furious and he turns the tables over on these moneychangers. Imagine the sounds -- coins dropping and birds squawking as pre-sacrificed offerings. Jesus causes this disruption because he's had it. This is not what the temple is supposed to be about.

Think about it . . . why would people need any money anyway inside the temple? Well, to make a sacrifice. In the "olden" days, people would bring what they had -- the best sheep of their flock, or the nicest chicken -- to atone for their sins. But now, (now being 2000 years ago) they are expected to purchase their sacrifice, not from the bounty God had given them, but from animals the temple people have chosen as "worthy."

They needed money to make atonement.

Now here is where I have to get out my commentary and do a little more research, but offhand I'm thinking Jesus is upset that people can't bring a portion of what God has given them. He's upset that what God has already given isn't "good enough" for the temple. If God had given a family 4 chickens, would not one of them be more than enough to atone for sins? Why would they have to sell one, take the money they gained from selling it to the temple, and exchange their Caesar money for temple money so that they could buy a more fitting sacrifice? Is that the purpose of having a temple? to please the rabbis? or is it something else? Perhaps the purpose of coming to temple was to please God? to offer oneself to God -- to bring a sacrifice of what God had given to you?

The title of my sermon I have: "Clean House and Come On In!" It sounds mighty Southern, doesn't it? When I came up with it, I thought about how often I won't let people into my house because it is too messy. I feel I have to get it all perfect before I can let anyone in. But Jesus' table-turning endeavors at the temple seem to speak of something more lasting than that. It's like he told the money-changers -- "don't make them clean house before they come in! Don't make them live up to your standards. Let them come in as they are -- with their idoled coins and heavy hearts. Let them bring to God what is really important to them, not to you." And really, that's what I should do too -- I shouldn't worry who comes into my messy house because the point is to let them in! I don't expect perfection from my guest either -- I just want them to be themselves, to come on in and make themselves comfortable. I don't request that they exchange their shoes for my shoes at the door, for in doing so I would be exalting my status above theirs. No, when I let you into my home, I am to honor you as my guest.

So I'm wondering now if Jesus' actions had something to do with the hospitality code? If the moneychangers were driving people away from the temple rather than welcoming them??? Please comment if you are studying this scripture too. Your thoughts matter to me.

Thinking toward Sunday

2009-03-06T21:23:00.002-05:00

Mark 8:34-38
34He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. 36For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? 37Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? 38Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.”

Our congregation is entering an interesting time during Lent. Together we are "taking up" a responsibility -- the responsibility of sharing God's love with our neighbors. But we're really not quite sure how to do that. We can talk about it with each other. We can listen to sermons about it. But when it comes down to it, we're not quite sure "how" to do it. Which is why we are entering into this discipline of evangelism together.

I have been the pastor of the Spring Lake Presbyterian Church for five years and in that amount of time we have seen a lot of people come in and join with us as fellow members or friends. Some have wandered in, looking for a Presbyterian church. Others have come because a neighbor invited them or because a church member cared for them and left an impression upon their lives. Still others have come because they recently moved into the neighborhood. But people have come, and as they have come and the love of God has been shared, the Spirit of God has begun to fill this place. People sense that when they walk into worship on Sunday morning. On more than one occasion I have heard the words, "God is here." And I believe them.

As this is week one of this emphasis where we will slowly learn "how" to share God's love, we are starting simply, focusing on what it is about this particular church that drew us in and kept us here. You've heard a few testimonials from members of the "A Team" -- our ministry team for membership, outreach, and evangelism. You've heard about the friendliness of the congregation. You've heard about how the people and the rituals tend to grow richer with age. You've heard about the welcome. And you've heard that someone felt God's presence when they walked into this space. Personally, as you know, I came because it was a job . . . but realize something else. I came because God called me here. I have never doubted that. No, I take that back. It was five years ago and I walked into this space as your new pastor during a Lenten meal and I must have had a look of fear on my face because one of the PNC members turned to me and asked, "you didn't realize how old we were, did you?" For a brief moment, I suppose I did wonder what was on God's mind when calling me here. But all it took was a conversation here, an invitation there, a visit here, a comment there, a conflict here, a resolution there and suddenly I realized that I was in a sacred place . . . with sacred people -- the children of God. For in the time I have been here, I have grown in my faith as I have watched you grow in your faith. I have seen God at work in ordinary places I had forgotten to look in the past. I have learned to lead you -- God's people -- as you have made a place for me just as I am. And in this dance of learning to lead and learning from leaders, we have together discovered the secret to this hallowed place is that God is here . . . with us. In the sorrows we share together -- like Skip's funeral yesterday. In the joys we celebrate -- like cancer free anniversaries. And in those in-between times when God holds our hands as we face whatever will come. In all of this . . . God has been here and God will be here. So as we begin this journey of Lent together, as we reflect upon why we are here and how God reveals God's self to us in fellowship with one another, we are beginning to become Christ's disciples together.

In Mark's gospel today we hear those words -- If anyone would want to follow me, he or she must deny themselves and take up their crosses and follow me. We are asked to willingly take up a death sentence to follow this One called Jesus, the Christ. This isn't a shallow game about looking good before others or even feeling good about what we are doing; if we take Mark's words seriously then we must be willing to give up anything that leaves us looking rosy for the sake of following Christ. It's not about us anymore. It's about denying ourselves so that God can fill us. It's about listening to the wants, the needs, the whines, the aches that drown out God and saying -- Be gone! -- so that we can hear the One who speaks our name.

Mark speaks, 35For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. 36For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? 37Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? As we, in the Membership, Outreach, and Evanglism "A Team" met to talk about what this church needed to do, we realized that we must take Mark's gospel seriously -- that we, as a church, needed to be willing to share the gospel with others. We realized that there is no profit in wondering how God will provide for our church if we are not willing to do what has been asked of us. God asks for us to be willing to lose our life for the sake of the gospel. We are not to be ashamed to tell friends and neighbors what God has done for us. We are not to be ashamed to tell acquaintances how God has changed peoples' lives in our church. We are not to be ashamed to look deep within our own hearts and say, "Yes, God, begin with me. I want to follow you. I don't want to be ashamed."

We're going to take things one step at a time. And we are going to enter what might be a little uncomfortable territory -- we're going to ask you to invite a friend to church. But we are going to help you along the way because it's a little uncomfortable for us too. We know what it's like to take that risk and talk about God in a world that doesn't talk about such things. But we also know that we're willing to take that risk because God is the Source of our life, the Reason we are alive, the Presence we can not escape, the Love that fills our souls.

Let us not be ashamed of the Gospel. For it is a Gospel -- a good news -- just waiting to be shared. Amen.

Stranger Things Have Happened: The Sermon

2009-02-23T21:02:00.002-05:00

Mark 9:2-10
2Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, 3and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no one on earth could bleach them. 4And there appeared to them Elijah with Moses, who were talking with Jesus. 5Then Peter said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” 6He did not know what to say, for they were terrified. 7Then a cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud there came a voice, “This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!” 8Suddenly when they looked around, they saw no one with them any more, but only Jesus.
9As they were coming down the mountain, he ordered them to tell no one about what they had seen, until after the Son of Man had risen from the dead. 10So they kept the matter to themselves, questioning what this rising from the dead could mean.

Stranger Things Have Happened

It wasn’t as if Peter, James, and John had not been surprised by Jesus before. On the contrary, just the week before Jesus had fed four-thousand people using 7 loaves and a few fish and a few weeks before that he fed 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish. At another time Jesus defied religious law and ate with a woman and a sinner at that. And before that Jesus calmed the winds and the sea by walking on the water toward them. And before that he healed the sick – a woman with a fever, a man who was paralyzed, someone with leprosy, another who was deaf. So when Jesus led them up to a high mountain, I am certain they expected something a little different to happen. After all, when Jesus was around, stranger things usually happened.
But then again, I am also certain that they were not expecting to meet up with Elijah and Moses. Elijah had been whisked off to heaven in a chariot of fire 9 centuries earlier and Moses, he had lived somewhere around 1400 years earlier. The last thing Peter, James, and John expected to see were two people who had lived and died hundreds of years earlier. But then again, with Jesus, stranger things had happened.

Peter considered it an honor to be in the presence of Elijah and Moses. He wanted to build them houses, keep them around for a little while. All he could think was . . . “Finally we’ll get some answers!” Finally Moses can tell us what he meant when he received all of these laws! Finally Elijah can tell us what really happened during the time when he lived! Finally the Word of the Lord will be taught to us authentically, by the people who lived the stories in the first place . . . no more distance from the social context of 1400 years ago, . . . no, we can get the whole story and perhaps understand what we can DO with that law. And so Peter tried to hear what Moses and Elijah were saying, but it got harder and harder to hear because a cloud came down upon him and James and John drowning out all voices except the one that belonged to God.

Imagine trying to hear the voices of those who helped to form your religion. Would you not strain to hear what was being said? Would you not want to make them the finest houses and clothe them in the clothes of royalty? And would it not knock you off your feet for God to cloud your understanding of what they were saying so that instead you heard the voice of God? Why, God’s voice trumps the human founders of your faith any day! God’s voice is like a homerun! A royal flush! Hearing God’s voice is like winning the lottery! And that’s what Peter James and John hear. They hear God’s voice, and they realize it’s no longer important what Moses and Elijah are saying. God says, “This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!” God says, don’t worry about what Moses and Elijah are saying, listen to Jesus, my Son. He knows what he is talking about.

This is HUGE. It’s the equivalent of God telling a Christian – don’t worry about what the Bible says, listen to this person instead – he’s my child. As God’s voice enveloped Peter, James, and John, they were told that what was truly sacred was standing right in front of them. More holy than the scrolls of even Moses, than the stories of even the great prophet Elijah, Jesus was the holy one.

As they walk down the mountain, they had to start believing that nothing stranger than this had ever happened. Surely they had seen it all. Except Jesus had spoken of the resurrection of the dead. With Jesus there was always more. The possibilities opened themselves up before him. When someone was sick, he would heal. When someone was a sinner, he would forgive. When someone was hungry, he would feed them. When someone was afraid, he would calm not only the winds and the waves but hearts as well. In the presence of Jesus, stranger things ALWAYS happen!

And that’s the good news, folks. When you’ve reached the end of your rope and feel that there’s not a chance on this earth that your situation will improve, you are reminded that stranger things have happened. When cancer takes over your life and healing seems a distant thought, remember that stranger things have happened. When your bank account seems empty and you wonder how you will ever pay all of your bills, remember that stranger things have happened. When it appears divorce is your only option, that your spouse will never understand what it means to love, remember that stranger things have happened!

Because stranger things HAVE happened! Transfiguration happened as Jesus’ clothes became radiant white on that mountaintop. And resurrection happened – life after death. If we truly “Listen to him” and believe the message that Jesus lived and proclaimed, then stranger things will happen!

When the session of this church last met, we dealt with the fact that we had a mold problem in the education wing. The bid from those who could get rid of the spores for us is running around $6000. As we met around the table, aware of our responsibility, one of the elders spoke up – “it has to be done, guys. The money will come from somewhere.” And we recognized that she was right. She reminded to us all that stranger things have happened than God providing for a church. The week after that, a church member called me up and asked if there was any pressing need that the church had. This week I brought an anonymous check for $6000 to the church office. Stranger things have happened.

Peter, James, and John kept forgetting that stranger things had happened. Someone would be healed and they would be amazed. And then someone else would be healed and they would be amazed. And then the winds and the waves would become calm and they would be amazed. And then they saw Jesus transfigured and they were amazed. And then they saw Jesus die and come back to life and they were amazed. Stranger things always happen. As Christians who believe that God is able to do stranger things than this, why do we continue to forget that stranger things have happened? Why do we continue to be amazed when stranger things happen?

I stand here to remind you so that you don’t forget. Stranger things WILL happen. All we must do is realize that Jesus is God’s beloved Son. Then we must listen to him. We will be amazed. Our situations will change. Our needs and desires will be met. For in the presence of our resurrected Lord, stranger things ALWAYS happen.

A Prayer For Those Who Struggle

2009-02-18T12:12:00.002-05:00

God, can you really meet my needs?

They seem to overwhelm me, to paralyze me, to the point that I just don't know what to do.

Stranger things have happened.

Calling forth something out of nothing at the creation of the universe;

Parting the Red Sea for a few hopeless creatures to find hope;

Sending a chariot of fire to woosh Elijah away to worlds unknown.

God, can you really meet the needs of this world?

The media plagues us with statistics of death and hatred and poverty and hunger.

Stranger things have happened.

Incarnation.

Transfiguration.

Resurrection.

Time, Time Tickin'

2009-02-17T23:31:00.002-05:00

It's 11:32 PM and I'm exhausted but can't sleep, so I decided to write. There is much puttering around up here in my head -- the need to begin thinking about worship for next Sunday, the bulletin that needs to be completed tomorrow, the floors which need mopping, phone calls which need to be made, follow up visits to attend to, yet here I sit, averse to doing any of those . . . at least at this time of night.

I think I'm up because so much has been going on at the church lately. My outreach committee is really working hard at being a team to teach this congregation HOW to invite friends to worship and to share the love of God with their neighbors. This is big. I have tried many approaches to helping this happen but, like everything else in the church, a church member (preferably a volunteer leader) needs to get an idea in their head that this is what we need to do. I guess I see myself planting seeds until someone eventually says -- aha! THIS is what we need to do! And I nod my head as if I had never mentioned it before in my life. So anyway, this committe/team is doing a 2 month emphasis on sharing God's love with the "unchurched" -- meaning those who do not have a place to worship and who may not have ever considered that they even want a place to worship God. The first month they are introducing ways to connect to people. The second month, they are challenging the congregation to invite someone every week. I'm excited about this because the committee is excited about this. I'm also excited about this because the focus is not on money for a change but on the real stuff of ministry -- sharing God's love with our neighbors.

The idea behind the whole thing, however, is to show the congregation what they can do. After the 2nd month is over, we don't expect things to chill out at all. Rather, we hope that everyone has "practiced" inviting their friends and that they aren't so afraid to invite people in the future.

So this is the year of the invitation. And as people come, we will have to follow up with them, care with them, help them make this church their home, etc. But the Invite is first.

I suggested to the committee that as part of the training we talk about why we like this church and what brought us here. The committee members are going to share their reasoning and challenge others to share. (I secretly hope there's a revival where everyone begins talking about what God has done in their life and how they began to notice when they came to this church!) The committee members told me -- but Katie, you don't have to tell why you're here. But you know, I began to think. Sure, I came for the job. But the longer you stay someplace, the more you become a part of the community and the more you observe what's going on in the community. I began to see prayers being answered and people giving thanks to God. I began to see incarnation as the body of Christ served one another when community members were sick or lost a loved one. I began to form relationships as I trusted people with my own concerns and joys. And through all of this, I began to see God through the eyes of older people whose lives of faith had been challenged, yet still they persevered.

In a couple of weeks I will have been here 5 years. I am grateful to be a part of this young church's growth.

Sermon Rough Draft -- February 15

2009-02-15T06:17:00.002-05:00

2 Kings 5:1-17
I Corinthians 9:24-27
24Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. 25Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one. 26So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; 27but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified.

In our weekly gathering of youth at Roserio's Pizzaria I have been amazed at the sheer number of youth and young adults who are preparing to enlist in the United States military. For them it is a chance to make something of themselves -- to get an education, to travel and see the world, to matter. Last week three of these young people were talking about boot camp. I asked them if they were excited about it and all three said "yes!" But when I asked if they were prepared for it, all three said "no!" During the week these three decided that they would begin preparing for boot camp -- waking up early, exercising, whatever it would take to get themselves ready for the incredible stress bootcamp would place on their bodies this coming summer. Midway through the week I ran into one of the girls and asked her how it was going -- she said she was sore from playing football with the youth last Saturday. When I asked her if she was going to be ready for bootcamp, she just kinda shrugged her shoulders as if the goal that was before her was already beginning to fade. But yesterday I spoke with one of the other girls who will be enlisting this summer and she says she has started working out -- everyday. For her the goal is before her and she is rising to the challenge. She wants to reach her goal . . . whatever the cost.

There are two stories today. The first is the story of Naaman, the commander of the Aram army that has just defeated Israel. Strangely, this story appears in the Hebrew canon even though it is about their enemies and why? Most likely it is because of Naaman -- a man who converts to the Hebrew faith in this very story. Naaman had leprosy and whether we're new to the Bible or not, most of us are aware that leprosy is a horrible disease which, left untreated, can cause damage to the skin, nerves, limbs and eyes. Naaman was losing social status quickly, thanks to the disease, and wanted desperately to be healed. Naaman's wife's servant had been captured during one of Aram's raids on Israel and she conveyed to Naaman that she knew someone of her own people who could heal leprosy. Naaman was ready to try anything, well almost anything. He wanted to "save face" (bad pun) and maintain his authority and dignity during his healing, but he was willing to ask his king to talk with Israel's king . . . if he could just be healed. The King of Aram sent a letter to the King of Israel with lots of riches, asking if he would please allow Naaman to be healed. And the King of Israel thought the King of Aram was making fun of him by asking him to do something that he obviously could not do. But Elisha, the prophet, heard about this, and asked the King of Israel to have Naaman come to him so that the God of Israel could be known.

Meanwhile Naaman makes his way to Elisha's house, a little put out that a man of Naaman's social status would have to travel out to the countryside where those less-than-royalty lived. Coming to the door, Naaman's servants knocked, expecting the great healer to come out, bow down before Naaman, and touch him so that he could be healed, but Elisha had sent his servant to the door with a message that Naaman was to go bathe in the River Jordan 7 times and he would be healed. This made Naaman even more angry -- for he wanted to be shown respect! He didn't want to "grovel" in his enemy's river . . . not when greater rivers existed in his own land! He wanted healing on his own terms. And at that point, he almost gave up.

I'm going to stop the story there . . . just for a few minutes . . . so we can think for a minute about the epistle I read today from 1 Corinthians. 24Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. 25Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one. 26So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; 27but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified. What happens when a runner doesn't train? Well, he most certainly won't finish the race! She most certainly won't win the prize! If we, like Naaman, decide that we want spiritual healing on our own terms and fail to follow through on what's required of us, fail to discipline ourselves to listen for God rather than telling God we know what's best for us, then we will not win the prize.

Rick Warren, the pastor of the famous Saddleback Church and the author of the Purpose Driven Life and other purpose driven books teaches the following lesson: "We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others."

Naaman was focused on his problems. He was the one with leprosy and he deserved, in his mind, to be treated with the utmost care because of it. He, in his mind, deserved to be healed because of his social status, because his king had put forth the best money on his behalf. He did not want to wallow in his enemy's river . . . he did not want to demean himself. He wanted healing on his own terms. But then one of his servants said something that caught his attention: What if the prophet had asked you to do something difficult, something that would be more suitable to a man of your status -- wouldn't you do it? And if so, then go on down to the river and do this simple thing -- it's no loss to you. So Naaman did. He swallowed his pride and focused on his purpose rather than his problem. And when he came up out of the water the 7th time, he was completely well. And with that, his spirit was well too -- for he realized that healing had nothing to do with his own terms. He realized that the God of Israel had healed him. He realized, as Rick Warren pointed out, that he was made by God and for God, and suddenly life began to make sense.

What is the prize that is before us? It would appear that the prize that is before us is the purpose that drives our life -- and we get to choose what that will be. But until we realize that we were made by God and for God, until we realize that our lives are vessels that God can fill to provide hope and love to this world, life is not going to make any sense. Some of us realize that we were made by God and for God, but, like Naaman, we want life to happen on our own terms. We want inter-personal healing, physical healing, economic healing, vocational healing, spiritual healing -- but we want it on our own terms. Now. And frequently when we don't get healing on our own terms we become paralyzed with fear -- we look at our problems instead of focusing on the prize that is before us.

Here in this church, we've spent a lot of time dwelling on problems -- financial problems, dwindling membership, etc. -- and when we do so we forget the purpose to which we've been called. We are the body of Christ -- blessed by God -- and called to be a blessing to others. We are called to share the Gospel of Christ with others. We can't lose sight of our goal by paralyzing ourselves within the problems of the moment. We can't lose sight of our goal by requiring that God heal us on our own terms -- with a larger income and a bigger membership. Rather, we have to allow ourselves to receive healing on God's terms. When we focus on God's purpose for this church -- to share God's love with our neighbors and to serve God with our whole lives -- healing will come.

Discipline is tough -- it requires that we look to our goal even when failures threaten to discourage us. We as Christ's body, are called to discipline ourselves -- to take time everyday as we not only pray to God but as we listen for God. We are called to listen for God as we read the scriptures, trusting God to meet our needs and heal us on God's terms. We are called to set aside our arrogance that we know what is right and who is wrong and rather open our eyes to obey whatever it is God wants us to do . . . even if it means that we must return to the place of Naaman's healing, the place of Jesus' baptism, the place of our own baptism and be made whole. We must run in such a way that we will win the prize. Amen.

Twas the Night Before Preaching

2009-02-14T19:25:00.002-05:00

Tis the day before Sunday and here in my house, the pastor is studying and avoiding the souse. The scriptures on Naaman and leprosy and running are causing me grief that's in no way too stunning.

Here are the scriptures: 2 Kings 5:1-17 and I Corinthians 9:24-27 -- I've opted not to use the gospel story of Jesus healing the leper.

I love both of these passages. I love the 2 Kings story because 1) it's not familiar and 2) it takes some doing for Naaman to accept the healing that God wishes to pour out on him -- he's got quite a few "roadblocks" -- specifically arrogance -- that stand in the way of receiving what God has for him. And I love I Corinthians because it talks about the discipline with which Christians are to go through life to gain a prize that is eternal. In both of these scriptures, I see the prize before us -- for Naaman it is healing of both body and spirit -- and for Christians it is eternal life. But what else ties these two passages together? I'm stuck, you see, because Naaman seems to get hung up on receiving the gift that is before him because it's so simple, while Christians in I Corinthians seem to get hung up on the discipline that we must train ourself with because it's so hard. In both, God blesses. But the process to receive the blessing seems so very different. So I'm working through that now at the not quite 11th hour. If you have any last minute thoughts as you prepare for tomorrow, drop me a note!

Healing

2009-02-08T15:06:00.002-05:00

I changed my sermon again. I realized that my congregation needs to hear more about healing right now than about focus. Or at least I felt that was the message I could share today. So here's a quick sketch of what I did. Again, from Mark 1:29-39

I’m a “Sound of Music” fan. Anything to do with music and dancing and frolicking children, well, that’s just good stuff. My favorite scene, however, is the horrible thunderstorm where, one by one, the kids come into Maria’s room (Maria being the nanny/nun) to try to find some comfort. And music is the great healer. (tell more)
Jesus was asked to use this power that God had blessed him with to bring comfort, much like Maria. When he was ready to call it a day, he healed Simon’s mother-in-law and suddenly scared people from all around town crowded him, asking him to heal them. And he did. . . .
But there came a point when Jesus said – it’s late, let’s go to bed. He said goodnight to each of his “Vontrapp” children and laid down to rest for the evening.
But he was troubled. Although he was thrilled to be given this gift of healing by God, he wanted someone to sing to him, to comfort him, to heal his mind and his heart of all of its overwhelming questions. So he went back outside, this time the children weren’t lined up hoping for healing. They were all asleep in their bed, fears gone. And Jesus sat. And he prayed. He asked God -- what is it YOU want me to be about? Is it this healing that everyone seems to want? Is that it? Because if that's what you want I'll make it my focus. Or is it the casting out of demons like I did the other day in the synagogue? Is that it? Because if that's what you want I'll make it my focus. Or maybe you want something else, something entirely different. Just tell me. I'm here as an empty glass waiting for you to fill me with your focus, your purpose. Just tell me. Just heal my mind, God. And as Jesus sat, he listened. (stop everything and listen for some sort of revelation).
We know that Jesus was healed of all that was plaguing his mind because by the next morning he was back to focusing on what was most important. He didn’t get caught up in the thunder and lightening that had haunted him the night before – no, he realized what he had been called to do. And he followed.

It’s so easy to lose our focus – to miss out on what God is telling us, what God is calling us to be. We get sidetracked by the storms that blow up on us in life. We think – I CAN’T – until someone reminds us that we can, until someone starts singing to us about “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.” Most often what we need to do is just get away from it all, taking a step away from the routine and the demands just to pray to God, asking God to heal us, and then to listen. (stop everything and listen for some sort of revelation)
And when we emerge from our silence, we will know what it is we are called to do. We will know where our own healing comes from so that we can heal others, singing the song of healing for others – so that we will know what it is we have been called to.
Throughout life we will need to be healed. Sometimes we need physical healing, but always we seek spiritual healing – someone to touch us and take away our fears, someone to offer us hope.
That’s why we gather here, week after week. We gather to listen for the one who speaks with authority – not me, but God. We gather to listen for a word of hope, a word of healing. We gather to ask God to heal us, and we wait, expectantly, for that word . . . for that song that will allow us to sleep soundly.
What is the Word we are receiving, Spring Lake Presbyterian Church? When we, like Jesus, go off to a quiet place to listen for God, what do we hear? Jesus must have been given hope because by morning he was ready to do God’s will. He got up, acknowledging that he wouldn’t be able to heal everyone, and moved right along to the next town and the next town and the next town. He walked into synagogues and said – This is the message of God – not a set of laws, but simply two rules: Love God and love your neighbor. And healing occurred. Healing occurred in Jesus himself because he realized he was doing exactly what God had called him to do – not what the crowds wanted from him but what God wanted from him. And healing occurred in all who heard him – perhaps not physical healing (though that happened too) but a deeper healing, a spiritual healing – a healing that replaced fears with hope.
Where is it you need healing today? Of what are you afraid? Let Jesus touch you and watch the fever disappear. Is there a place deep within you that feels empty or lonely? Take the time to listen for the One who speaks with authority – not me, but God. Allow God to meet you in your emptiness and fill you, heal you, befriend you. Allow God to sing you the song you need to hear so that you can sleep soundly.

Where's My Focus?

2009-02-07T17:13:00.004-05:00

Here is where I am in sermon preparation right now:

Mark 1:29-39
29As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. 30Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. 31He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them.32That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. 33And the whole city was gathered around the door. 34And he cured many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. 35In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. 36And Simon and his companions hunted for him. 37When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” 38He answered, “Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” 39And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.

The working title of my sermon right now is "When the bandwagon is going the wrong direction." The old phrase "Jumping on the Bandwagon" seems apropos these days. A new church pops up in the middle of town and everyone runs to it, only to run to the next one when it opens, and the next one when it opens. We like to be a part of something fresh and new. We like to feel that we are a part of the best thing going on. But sometimes, as people are hopping on the bandwagon, they have no idea what they are hopping on for. They have no idea where the bandwagon is going or why it is going. They know only that they want to be a part of it. And that is where things start to go wrong.

Jesus set out to do God's will. Last week we learned that he spoke with a new kind of authority -- an authority that people could easily hear, and authority that even the demons listened to and obeyed. So in today's story, his authority is catching on. Simon's mother-in-law was sick so Jesus was called on to heal her. And he did. he walked right in, took her hand, and the fever went away.

Imagine, if you will, that you heard that someone might be able to heal someone YOU know -- just by touching them. No meds or surgery, just a touch and suddenly that person would be well. Wouldn't you follow? Well, that's what happened. Simon told his friends who told their friends who told their friends and suddenly, everyone had jumped on the bandwagon, bringing the sick to Jesus and asking him to heal them. And by the power of God, Jesus did heal them one by one. But Jesus realized something -- they were no longer coming to hear him because he spoke with authority. They weren't coming because of the message he had to give them. They were coming because they wanted healing. And this disturbed Jesus.

He slept a restless sleep that night, a sleep full of questions without answers. And so early, before anyone else was up, so early that it was still dark outside, Jesus disappeared to a place where no one would look for him. The place was quiet and the cool of the early morning was exaggerated by the darkness that preceeds dawn. Jesus wandered off to this place where he could think and pray without the agendas of the people being thrust upon him. And there he sat. And he prayed. He asked God -- what is it YOU want me to be about? Is it this healing that everyone seems to want? Is that it? Because if that's what you want I'll make it my focus. Or is it the casting out of demons like I did the other day in the synagogue? Is that it? Because if that's what you want I'll make it my focus. Or maybe you want something else, something entirely different. Just tell me. I'm here as an empty glass waiting for you to fill me with your focus, your purpose. Just tell me. And as Jesus sat, he listened. (stop everything and listen for some sort of revelation).

We don't know the specific words that were spoken to Jesus. We just know that he heard something, that he finally got the answers to his questions. Simon searched everywhere for Jesus once the people started lining up to be healed outside of his door. He had no idea why the great healer would hide from people. It was his responsibility to heal him, to use his gift to make these people well. Simon found Jesus praying and told Jesus the urgency with which he was needed. But by then, Jesus had his answer. And he looked at Simon and pronounced -- tell the people I'm not going to heal them today. It's time for me to go to the next town and do God's will there. It's time for me to share the message with people who need to hear. What was that message? If we look back at the beginning of Mark 1, we remember that John the Baptizer pronounced that the one who is coming will baptize people with the Holy Spirit -- with understanding and clarity. It's no wonder that those in the synagogue said he spoke with authority. Jesus was speaking in such a way that people could understand what the Kingdom of God was all about -- Jesus was speaking about more than a catchy phrase that signals that it's time to jump on the bandwagon.

And so he went to many other towns. He continued casting out demons and healing the sick. But his focus? Well, his focus was on bringing understanding in the synagogues; his focus was on speaking a message that can be heard.

What is our focus, Spring Lake Presbyterian Church? At one point, 5 years ago, this church decided that our mission would be to demonstrate God's love to each other and the world. But is that still our focus? Are we willing to demonstrate God's love to people who have never been loved? to saints and sinners alike? Are we willing to ask our neighbors: What is it you need in order to see God? to know God? to find God? Are we willing to take our focus away from what is comfortable for us so that we can help others be comfortable? I learned this week that there are 500 school-aged kids in Spring Lake alone -- that's not including preschoolers or young adults. Are we willing to demonstrate God's love to them? As we talked about last week, there are so many people in our community who really don't care about what might happen in a church because what they are truly looking for is authenticity rather than organized religion. Are we willing to demonstrate God's love to them? I'm here to challenge you, Spring Lake Presbyterian Church, because you are incredible about demonstrating God's love to each other. I've never known a more generous community who will bend over backward for each other. I've never seen a more caring community in which cards are sent, calls are made, food is shared, and friendships are established. But God's love has got to get out of this building, has got to go into the world. And so perhaps, what we need to do, is step away from what we know, from what feels good and familiar, and instead ask God: What do you want of me? Will we make ourselves like an empty glass and allow God to fill us with God's purpose, God's focus? Are we willing to set aside our own agendas and ask, instead, what God has for us?

Even Jesus had to step aside. Taking time to re-evaluate is not something that weaklings do. Rather it's something that anyone who wants to be open to the pouring out of the Holy Spirit should do. This church is God's church. Let's take time to ask God how we can serve, what we've been called to do, and may we offer ourselves without hesitation.

Yesterday at the youth gathering, I met four youth who are preparing to enlist in the military. These young people -- aged 16-21 -- knew the sacrifice that was involved and decided to offer themselves to serve this country without hesitation. One even said -- even if I have to go to a place like Iraq, I will. And I had no doubt that she was serious. She really feels called to leave her own comfort zone so that others can be made comfortable.

The call of Christ sounds to us just as deeply -- come, open yourselves to the possibilities, even if that means sacrificing your own agenda for yourself. Get off the bandwagon, the notion that Christianity is simply a "popularity" contest, and join instead the One who calls us to give beyond ourselves, to "be all that we can be" and even more. Amen.

meeting God

2009-02-06T18:58:00.002-05:00

I just finished a memorial service for someone I never knew. He was young -- 65 -- and a member of the community, though not at all associated with the church. I'm used to leading memorial services for church members, but it was really interesting to lead one for a stranger. The church was packed -- close to 80 people there and only 5 church members. And I got to wondering, as I often do when I don't know the person, how he might have experienced God in his life. It doesn't sound like he ever entered a church. He was a Harley Davidson rider and a nature lover (hunter and fisher). And I got to thinking . . . ya know, God meets us wherever we are. He seemed to live in response to having seen a bit of the Blessing too. He lived 9 years longer than his doctor expected him too. In return he took his neighbor to the store and to the doctor; he drove his wife to work and waved at all of her fellow workers, he drove to the hospital to help his older brother pull through 8 weeks of intense pain after a motorcycle accident. And while I don't believe the gospel of Jesus Christ is about works, I do believe it is about grace and as such, I believe the way of Christ can meet us wherever we happen to be. And I believe that the works we do reflect the fact that God's love has touched us, and changed us. So where is he today? Like I can really say . . . but I believe he's in the arms of God. Aren't we all?

Jesus Came to Do What?

2009-02-03T18:14:00.002-05:00

Mark 1:29-39
29As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. 30Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. 31He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them.
32That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. 33And the whole city was gathered around the door. 34And he cured many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. 35In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. 36And Simon and his companions hunted for him. 37When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” 38He answered, “Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” 39And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.

I've always wondered why Jesus wanted to "keep things secret" in the gospel of Mark. There are academic answers for that which I won't go into right now. But as I read the scripture the one thing that popped out at me in such a way that I could not look away was verse 38: "Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do." He literally turned people away who wanted to be healed, who could have added to his following. He walked away from them and said -- this isn't it. This isn't what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

I wonder some times if we miss it also. Perhaps if we stopped for a moment and listened to God and prayed a bit we might hear what it is we are supposed to do. I'm thinking that's what Jesus did. He was getting really excited about this healing stuff, but in stopping and talking to God, he realized, it's just not it -- it's not why I am here.

We Christians like to talk about our Jesus - our healer -- but is that what he came to do? Perhaps we should think about that. What are your thoughts?

Life Is Short Benedictions

2009-01-25T13:54:00.001-05:00

To go along with my sermon, here are a couple of Benedictions that I treasure.

From my friend, "Mother Emily": Life is short and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be quick to love and hasten to be kind.

From my friend, Pastor Blythe: Life is short, so be swift to love and make haste to be kind, and may the blessing of God, your creator, redeemer and sustainer be with you now and always.

And to both, we add "Amen."

Final Draft: What Really Matters

2009-01-25T07:03:00.003-05:00

Here's my final draft -- what I'm really preaching today. Some of it is a bit less pointed. I don't like to put people on the defensive so they can't hear what God wants to say to them, but I pray God will use me to communicate at least some of what God is saying. If nothing else, God speaks to me as I prepare sermons. Peace. KT

I Corinthians 7:29-31
29I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, 30and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, 31and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

What Really Matters?

The Dog Story: As promised, Bill has gotten me out to exercise every day this week. As we were walking one day through the Spring Lake neighborhood, we passed a house with 5 dogs in the side yard, barking hysterically at us and our dog. It’s a dog’s job, his destined purpose, to bark at any stranger passing by his house. Further, it is his job to tell the world that another dog is infringing upon his property (or at least getting close to it.) My dog ignored the five dogs, but Bill and I watched and began to laugh as two of the little dogs, so excited by the prospect of doing their job, began to attack one another – wrestling and growling and biting and yipping. Within seconds of our approach, they had already forgotten what they were barking about and, instead, turned on one another. They had forgotten their purpose! And instead made a spectacle of themselves! The story would not be complete unless I reported that 5 minutes later we turned around and returned via the same street. The five dogs immediately began barking again, as if they had never seen us. And as we approached, the two again began to attack one another. Somehow, in all of the excitement, those two had forgotten what really matters.

In I Corinthians, Paul has been writing about how important it is to focus on God, and, in the passages prior to today’s scriptures, he has acknowledged that frequently sex and taking care of your spouse can deter your focus upon God. It doesn't preach really well in this day and age. ;o) However, the bigger issue is that Paul is urging Christians to focus all of their attention upon God. In verses 29-31 he sums it up by reminding us that the time we have on this earth is so very short and as such, we should live as though the only thing that mattered was God. If you are mourning, don't let that stand in the way of what matters. If you are overjoyed, don't let that stand in the way of what matters. If you have money to spend, live as though you didn't. Think only about what is important . . . what is lasting . . . what is real.

As I began working on this sermon and thinking about those things that really matter, I realized that God was speaking to me. I had found myself annoyed by pettiness complaints that seemed to consume my time. As I read this scripture and began to focus on God’s call to me as both Pastor and Christian, I realized that God was reminding me to focus on what really matters. Any time we gather together, it is tempting to focus on who-likes-who and who-doesn’t like-who; it is tempting to be drawn into a conversation where we judge one another for what we have said or how we have acted; it is tempting to get on the band wagon and form groups for or against someone or something. But I am reminded that in the big picture, it is not for me to focus on who-likes-who and who-doesn’t-like-who. It is not for me to judge another human being for how he or she has acted. It is not for me to takes sides for or against another individual. These things do not matter. If life on earth is truly as short a period in infinity as it seems to be, why am I wasting precious energy on being angry about the pettiness around me? What really matters?

If we continue Paul’s line of thinking in I Corinthians, we will discover that all that matters is that we have only a short period of time in which to share the love of Christ with our neighbors – with those who are easy to love and with those who are not. The church exists not to exact a bunch of rules and regulations upon people, but rather to care for one another. The church is not a building, but a body – Christ’s body – broken yet healed in resurrection. What really matters? Simply spending our time sharing Christ’s love with others . . . that is the ONLY thing that really matters. We must change our focus from: What matters to me? to What matters to them? When our focus shifts from guarding our own feelings and experiences to nurturing another’s feelings and experiences, we have begun to focus on what really matters. We have begun to be the Body of Christ in the world.

Given the fact that I spent a lot of my early adult years in Nashville, I came to find that country music wasn't quite as bad as I had always been led to believe. In fact, occasionally the lyrics will hit a home run. Tim McGraw sang a song that has stuck with me since I first heard it. The lyrics are right in line with the scripture for today, albeit a bit more "country!" He said I was in my early forties with a lot of life before me when a moment came that stopped me on a dime. And I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays, talking bout the options and talking bout sweet time. I asked him when it sank in that this might really be the real end? How does it hit you when you get that kinda news? Man, what'd you do? And he said, "I went sky diving! I went Rocky Mountain climbing! I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu! And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." And he said, "Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying."On Tuesday, one of my kid's friend's father was diagnosed with cancer. At that point all of the worry about who would get the kids to school, what to have for lunch, when the church meeting would meet, who was wearing what at the game, how clean the house was, what was said or done wrong in the last few days, ALL OF THAT suddenly didn't matter. All that mattered was the realization that life is so very short and we are given but a brief window to allow God's will to be done through us. We have but a brief window to connect our stories to God's stories. We have a brief window to live in harmony with one another, to resist petty divisions and opportunities to be angry and anxious. We have only now.

Yesterday I attended a memorial service for an 8-week-old. At that point all of the worry about who would get up for the midnight feedings, who would change the diapers, where the college funds were going to come from, whether Aunt June and Grandpa Joe would ever get along, ALL of that suddenly didn’t matter. All that mattered was the realization that life is so very short and we are given but a brief window to allow God’s will to be done through us. We have but a brief window to connect our stories to God’s stories. We have a brief window to live in harmony with one another, to resist petty divisions and opportunities to be angry and anxious. We have only now.

Today we will receive the Annual Report of the Spring Lake Presbyterian Church. In it are many blessings where we came together to allow God’s will to be done through us. In it are many examples of the places where our stories connected to God’s stories. You will see names listed of people who gave of their time selfishly, so that others could focus on what really mattered. You will see a list of just a few of the anonymous gifts given throughout the year to keep the ministry of the church vital, even on a bare-bones budget. You will see the approved 2009 budget which looks just like the 2008 budget and the 2007 budget. The budget was not met last year, but we realize that God did not stop blessing us. We also realize that our ministry did not come to a stand still. The budget is what keeps up the operations of the church – it’s what pays the light bill and the pastor’s salary and the Sunday School lessons and the copier upkeep. The budget is what allows us to do God’s work from here at 5887 US HWY 98. But our ministries do not stop with the budget. The Presbyterian Women raise funds to give to missions, to share with other organizations who are doing God’s will. And the deacons use their funds to feed the hungry and care for the grieving and the sick. But our ministries do not stop with PW and the deacons! Because of the worship we are able to share here on Sunday mornings, you and I are encouraged to share the love of Christ that we just can’t contain within our spirits! What really matters? Does a budget matter? Only if it prepares us to share the love of Christ, to live as if all we had was today, to live like we were dying.

29I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, 30and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, 31and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

We have only today. I hope we’ll go sky diving! I hope we’ll go Rocky Mountain climbing! I hope we’ll go 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu! I hope we’ll love deeper. I hope we’ll speak sweeter. I hope we’ll give forgiveness we’ve been denying. For the present form of this world is passing away. Today I hope we take the chance to live what really matters, to live like we were dying. Amen.

What Really Matters?

2009-01-22T14:20:00.003-05:00

The title of my upcoming sermon for Sunday is "What really matters?" I find it an appropriate title because it is the Sunday of annual congregational meetings. And in truth, regardless of what a budget does or does not say, regardless of what the annual reports tell us about who we have been and who we hope to be, What Really Matters? I'll be preaching from I Corinthians 7:29-31 which says (in the NRSV):

29I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, 30and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, 31and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

Paul has been writing about how important it is to focus on God, but that frequently sex and taking care of your spouse can deter your focus upon God. It doesn't preach really well in this day and age. ;o) However, the bigger issue is that Paul is urging Christians to focus all of their attention upon God. In verses 29-31 he sums it up by reminding us that the time we have on this earth is so very short and as such, we should live as though the only thing that mattered was God. If you are mourning, don't let that stand in the way of what matters. If you are overjoyed, don't let that stand in the way of what matters. If you have money to spend, live as though you didn't. Think only about what is important . . . what is lasting . . . what is real.

The message I'm preparing is especially real for me today. In the past hour I've been extremely irritated by gossip that is spreading like wildfire in the church about something that truly does not matter. And yet rumors abound and only one person has faced the situation head on and realized that the rumors are simply rumors. Everyone else is getting upset over nothing. And I am reminded that in the big picture, it truly does not matter. If life on earth is truly as short a period in infinity as it seems to be, why am I wasting precious energy on being angry about the pettiness around me? What really matters?

Given the fact that I spent a lot of my eary adult years in Nashville, I came to find that country music wasn't quite as bad as I had always been led to believe. In fact, occasionally the lyrics will hit a home run. Tim McGraw sang a song that has stuck with me since I first heard it. The lyrics are right in line with the scripture for today, albeit a bit more "country!"

He said I was in my early forties with a lot of life before me when a moment came that stopped me on a dime. And I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays, talking bout the options and talking bout sweet time. I asked him when it sank in that this might really be the real end? How does it hit you when you get that kinda news? Man, what'd you do? And he said, "I went sky diving! I went Rocky Mountain climbing! I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu! And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." And he said, "Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying."

On Tuesday, one of my kid's friend's father was diagnosed with cancer. At that point all of the worry about who would get the kids to school, what to have for lunch, when the church meeting would meet, who was wearing what at the game, how clean the house was, what was said or done wrong in the last few days, ALL OF THAT suddenly didn't matter. All that mattered was the realization that life is so very short and we are given but a brief window to allow God's will to be done through us. We have but a brief window to connect our stories to God's stories. We have a brief window to live in harmony with one another, to resist petty divisions and opportunities to be angry and anxious. We have only now.

So the budget this year says the same thing it did last year. There are no differences. Why? Because we didn't meet last year's budget. And truth be told, if we don't meet this year's budget, our reserves will be gone leaving only pennies in the bank. So what do we do? Do we pull back some more, delaying the inevitable? or do we live like this is the very work we have been called to do by God Almighty? Do we live as if every day left is left only for the purpose of loving and serving God? I hope we opt for the second. This year I hope we take the chance to live like we were dying. Amen.

Beginning Again

2009-01-11T07:13:00.001-05:00

Here is my sermon for today as it currently stands.

Genesis 1
Mark 1:4-11
4John the baptizer appeared in the wilderness, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. 5And people from the whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem were going out to him, and were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins. 6Now John was clothed with camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. 7He proclaimed, “The one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to stoop down and untie the thong of his sandals. 8I have baptized you with water; but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.”
9In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him. 11And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”

Created Again: Returning to the Beginning

Let’s start at the Very Beginning! (the very best place to start) In the beginning, God created . . . and it was good.

When I was right out of college I wrote a story. It was a children’s story . . . with a bit of depth to it. And it just came to me. There was no planning for it, no sitting at the computer waiting for creativity to strike. It just appeared. And since then I’ve shared it in many different settings and always heard the response – It is good. I’m filled with pride at this work of art that literally welled up in me until I just had to give birth to it. Art is like that – it is not designed for anyone but the artist who feels so compelled by something that they must get it out, giving birth to it. And when it is out – all the way out—it is good! (at least to the artist, the creator.)

In the beginning there was a blank canvas, a tabula rasa, pure darkness, emptiness, loneliness, and then God was compelled to bring something more to it – to paint, to write, to create – and there was purpose and there was beauty and there was energy and there was life and there was companionship . . . and it was good.

We don’t know much about Jesus’ beginning except some birth stories that just happen to jive really well with the prophecies of old. But after the birth narratives, there is silence as we wait 30 years for the little baby in the manger to grow up. I’m sure the 30 years were pretty eventful – most of the young years are – playing and practical jokes, first words and fatherly advice, doing chores and chopping wood with his dad the carpenter, memorizing the scriptures and making eyes at girls. All we know is that he grew up in the Middle East and suddenly we find him at another beginning, distanced from the stable in all of its ironic holiness.

John the Baptizer calls out to people to receive a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. Typically everyone went to the temple to make a sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins, but John offered something different. He offered the chance to make atonement by confessing not to the priest but to God and then to be baptized as a chance to start over, to return to the very beginning. REPENT AND BE BAPTIZED FOR THE FORGIVENESS OF SINS! He called out in the wilderness. And they came, all of them wanting forgiveness, wanting to start over. As they stood up out of the water the guilt disappeared, the fear of God’s wrath left, and the desire to begin again compelled them to be a new creation, to start again.

And Jesus said, “I want a new beginning.” And Jesus asked to be baptized. We have no idea what he repented or why he repented. We know only that somewhere deep within him creation compelled him to return to the beginning, the very beginning, (the very best place to start). He returned to the beginning when the canvas would be God’s and not his own. “I want God to start fresh and create in me whatever the Mysterious Artist wishes to create.”

And so John baptized.

And Jesus returned to the very beginning.

And he saw the heavens torn open as light was painted on his black canvas, and the Spirit of God descended on him in the form of a dove, and he was marked as the one compelled to baptize others with the Holy Spirit. And a voice came from heaven and spoke, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.” And God, the Creator, said, “It is good!”

We have the opportunity to start at the very beginning today. Do you cry out in your heart, “I want a new beginning!”? Age has nothing to do with it. Regret plays no part in creation. When the Holy Spirit comes upon us we are compelled to be born into newness. The fullness of time overwhelms us and we live a new and different life. We are compelled to live a life that is no longer for ourselves. We are compelled to live whatever life God lives through us, for when the Creator lives through us, it is always very good.

Here in the church we have so many opportunities to share this new beginning. We must discipline ourselves to listen for the Spirit in Bible study, in prayer, in worship, in life. And when we see the Spirit of God at work in our lives we must open ourselves to be compelled to show others that the same Spirit of God is active and alive baptizing THEIR lives with hope and love, calling THEM good as God paints upon the canvases of their lives.

Jan Richardson, in her recent blog, writes that “medieval artists often painted the river rising to meet the naked Messiah, surging up to enfold him, arcing around his waist. Often this appears to be for modesty’s sake, though the usual transparency of the river doesn’t entirely accomplish that aim. At times, however, the rising of the river seems to be for nothing but pure joy: the creation reaching out to meet and enfold Christ, the God who has become intimately, incarnately intertwined with the world.” And then she tells us that “there are times when our lives rise up to claim us, occasions when that which we were born to be leaps up to envelope us. Something calls our name. Reminds us we are blessed and beloved. Baptizes us. Sends us forth.” (http://paintedprayerbook.com/)

In Jan’s image of the baptismal waters, I find myself at the edge of an ocean, watching the waters of creation drift my way as the tides come in, slowly overtaking me and pulling me into an all-encompassing baptism. When I baptize children I sense these waters – waters that have always been with us, surrounding us with a love that is deeper than our own understanding. At other times, specifically as maturity comes upon me, I find myself still sitting in the sand as the tide goes out, away from me. In those times I know that I must, like Jesus, take those steps to approach the water, to begin again. (Walk toward font) As I step into the waters, my canvas is washed clean, and the Holy Spirit comes upon me, and it is good. I am compelled to live whatever life God lives through me. For when the Creator lives through me, it is always very good.
Amen.

A Light that Shines in the Darkness

2008-12-22T15:53:00.002-05:00

I had a couple of really nice services yesterday. I've been sick, so rather than compose another sermon, I orchestrated services with shared leadership. It was really nice. In the morning I used Lessons and Carols, a modern version by Katherine Hawker (which I picked up from www.textweek.com) and in the evening I had a Blue Christmas service for those in my congregation/community who were having a hard time during the holidays. In both, the light that shines in the darkness permeated all of the scripture and themes. For the morning service, the emphasis was on BEING the light and for the afternoon service, the emphasis was on seeing even a glimmer of light in our darkness.

Sometimes I need someone to preach to me. One of the retired pastors in my congregation, a UCC guy, thanked me for the morning service. I had been listening to the readings -- mostly poems -- and noticing how many of them were not exactly your conservative Christian readings. And I got to thinking -- I hope my congregation doesn't get offended. Anyway, this pastor sat by me after the service during fellowship time (usually I'm walking everywhere conversing, but since I was sick, I needed a seat) and he began to tell me what he heard in the readings. "I heard," he voiced, "that the light has been in this world since the beginning of time" (John 1:1 reference) "and that it will fade out if we don't carry it." Suddenly the gospel took on new meanings to me. Jesus showed us how to carry the light. We don't need him to come back and carry it some more. The light is still here. It's still waiting for us to embrace it and shine it to the world. Whether we "reflect" God's light or recognize that it is within us waiting to be ignited, it is here! Maybe I'm not saying it very well, but he spoke much of what I have been feeling. We have a lot to do with how much light can be seen. Answers to prayers can come from God through us. We are not mindlessly wandering the darkness awaiting enlightenment. The light is already here. I guess it pierced me in a new way this season.

Why Am I Getting This Now?

2008-12-09T20:55:00.002-05:00

I've been struck by Jesus' use of reversals lately. For some reason it's sinking in at a deeper level lately. All during stewardship season as I preached on generosity I began to understand that you HAVE to give to receive. The whole point of "having" is to be able and willing to give it away. And when you give, more is added. I know it's what Jesus preached, but I have seen it in my own life as I'm learning to trust. Somehow I forget that all that I have belongs to God. Yet when I realize it's not mine, that I am being cared for by one who has more than enough to meet my needs, I'm not afraid to share. A woman called me yesterday while I was at the church and asked how the church is ever going to survive if we keep spending money. Now, let me put this in context for you by telling you that the woman is 89 and the church is behind this year (naturally) but it's an extremely frugal church. Let me also say that the budget is almost identical to the budget 6 years ago and that spending has not gone up. I told the woman that we walk a fine line as the church. We have to be good stewards of what God has given us by practicing careful use of our moneys, but we also have to spend or else we're not doing the ministry God has called us to do. Stewardship is about USING the moneys and gifts God has given us. And when we USE those funds we are also sharing what we've been given, we're practicing generosity and expecting nothing. Yet God continues to give more. She seemed to get it . . . at least for now. And I guess I seem to get it little by little too. I'll clam up and be all scared and then God will remind me to trust. And I'll calm down for awhile.

Something really interesting has been happening. I've been wondering how I'll be able to repay my student loans for divinity school (they've been deferred until now) and I knew I needed a raise of $4000 to make the minimum payment each month (yeah, it's that much . . . thanks, Vandy!). I had already reduced my budget to bare minimum. I've fretted over this for a long time, but other clergy have helped me see it's OK to ask for my needs. My session has been wondering how they are going to do this, but I've found them to be supportive of me. Well, as of tonight, they still haven't made their decision and I realized I wasn't afraid. It turns out my bookkeeper had been underpaying me all this year the equivalent of $4000 and has since corrected her error so, get this, $4000 will be included in what I'm paid next year. There was already enough, I just didn't know it.

This is the reversal God is teaching me. Give, Katie, and trust. Give and trust. Give and trust. There is always enough in God's kingdom.

The reversals are also seen in Nathan's comment on my last post, that perhaps the way in the wilderness is the wilderness itself. Perhaps God isn't "out there" guiding us to the light but is "with us" wherever we might be. Perhaps that answer is always "Emmanuel." Do we need anything more?

Sermon, trial 1

2008-12-04T18:13:00.002-05:00

I tried out my sermon ideas at the nursing home today. I can never tell how it goes over by their responses because they are always just happy to see someone who cares enough to visit. I got a great response from my church member who has lived there the last 5 years who was trying to fill me in on the gossip at church -- ah, the grapevine keeps getting smaller! Anyway, I tried out the labyrinth story and realized I really need a visual to tell that story so I may have to use the projector screen for my illustration. The bigger question I have as I have begun reading commentaries is, how do we make a way in the wilderness? It seems that John the Baptizer made the way by hearing confessions and reminding them that God had forgiven them. We in the Presbyterian Church don't listen to confessions very often. We offer a corporate confession which reminds us that we as humanity are sinful and, no matter how pious we may feel, we keep sinning against God and against our neighbors. And so I'm wondering if that's what is at the heart of Mark's gospel -- how do we make a way in the wilderness? Jesus is Mark's obvious fulfiller of Isaiah's prophecy yet for Jesus to come, John had to make a way. John had to begin to do what was right, even though it was counter-cultural. John had to speak the truth when others did not want to see it and eventually beheaded him. John offered a ritual for the forgiveness of sins that was not about animal sacrifice but about being in a right relationship with other people and with God. John made a way in the wilderness. We too have to do that. We've got to make a highway for God-with-us to accompany us on. And along that highway we have to speak the truth, even if our congregations don't want to hear it. We have to speak what God wants us to speak and we have to live as God wants us to live. We've got to be real, change-makers, even if that means putting ourselves on the line. Peace as we wrestle through this week's lectionary together.

Comfort My People

2008-12-03T07:03:00.002-05:00

The lectionary texts this week include both Mark's use of Isaiah's "Prepare ye the way of the Lord" in a literal sense as he prepares people to receive Jesus as the Lord AND Isaiah's initial prophecy to "prepare ye the way of the Lord. Make straight in the desert a highway for our God." But the Isaiah text begins, "Comfort my people." In other words -- tell them the good news -- things are changing in a Good way! My congregation doesn't like to hear that things are changing -- they like things the way they've always been. Sure, they'll accept change as it comes, but it's difficult. Their memories are of good times in the past, and we often forget that the "good times" can also live in the present . . . if we will make room for them.

I heard a wonderful quote yesterday from a colleague of mine. "If we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got." But he continued, "but it will be diminished." In other words, to make a way in the desert we can't simply do what we've always done . . . or we will continue to get lost in the desert. Comfort my people -- tell them that there is a way through the desert . . . there can be a highway for our God!

I'm going to use a story I heard at yesterday's presbytery meeting. A man was working at Montreat and decided to make a labyrinth. He and his 10 year old son laid the tape on a gazebo, then stained it, then removed the tape and there before them was a beautiful labyrinth. The child quickly ran through the labyrinth (even though labyrinths are to be carefully walked through). The second time through he slowed down a bit, making his way to the center to meet God, travelling the twists and turns of the maze. The third time he crossed all of the lines and walked straight to the center. Then he turned to his father and said, "some people think you can skip all of the twists and turns of life and go straight to God, but that's not how it works is it, Dad?"

I appreciated this story, because it reminds us that life is full of twists and turns. It reminds us of how difficult it is to prepare the way of the Lord, to make straight in the desert a highway for God. We start off in our spiritual lives, prepared to make a straight path for God, but then we get caught on curves and twists and turns and we forget our purpose. There's nothing wrong with those twists and turns for through them we are strengthened to continue making that path for God to travel along.

I'm starting here in my sermon preparation this week. I haven't commentaried yet and I'll see where my study takes me, but this is the beginning. Please, share your thoughts as you ask God to help you comfort God's people.

Top Gifts this Year

2008-11-28T14:21:00.002-05:00

So it's Black Friday and I'm trying NOT to buy anything right now. Because it's true, it's not about stuff. It's about togetherness. It's not about debt, it's about sharing what we HAVE. So today I did spend money, but it was on haircuts for the whole family. And it was together time -- all four of us together with nice, pretty (handsome for Bill) haircuts. I am, however, browsing online. And we've made some lists about "stuff" that we want. Ultimately, I think I'd like a retreat center, already laid out and ready to go -- horses grazing, chickens laying eggs, and nice, quiet and reflective cabins under God's beautiful trees. Hey, if we're dreaming about "stuff" we might as well dream big, right? I'd like to help people simplify their lives and I'd like to simplify mine. I'd like to prepare meals from scratch and sew my family's clothes. I'd like for all of my "stuff" to be something I've created with these hands God has given to me. But in the meantime, I'm going to show you what my family wants. And if you, by chance, have any of this just laying around, I'm happy to purchase hand-me-downs. ;o)

For my dear husband:

For my oldest: the trilogy beginning with She's already read all of them -- but she wants the first and last one that we've had to get from the library. She also wants anything horsey and I'm browsing the internet for horsey things that won't clutter our home.

For my youngest:
Although she hasn't asked for this (American Girl is top of her list), she would enjoy this "game". She's a HUGE dolphin fan.

I hope you've had a wonderful Black Friday and that you are still in the black by the end of the day. I hope you've enjoyed your family and/or friends. And I hope you'll take the time to post a response to my blog here and there. Happy Day.

An Interesting Project

2008-11-25T20:07:00.002-05:00

I just happened upon "One Lapbook Per Child" while I was facebooking and I have to say, I'm not quite sure what I think of it. I love the rugged exterior. It appears to be a wonderful machine -- low energy, lightweight, etc. And I love that it can help in schools around the world. But I was troubled by a part of the ad where it asks why we are giving lapbooks in places where there is no water. And they nicely answer, "education." As if education will help them get water. Are they serving water in schools? Probably. Maybe that's where they're getting their water. Or maybe they are teaching kids how to leave their cultures and go to places where water is abundant. I suppose they want us to think they are teaching new farming techniques or new skills that will help them get paying jobs. But what good will all of that do if they can't get water? Maybe you know more about the project than I do. I'll attach a link to it. And maybe I'm missing the whole point. But for some reason, I'm getting the feeling that they are touting technology over an agrarian lifestyle. And as one who desperately longs to return to a simpler life, I don't know that a free laptop is the answer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-25T06:14:00.002-05:00

I think it is absolutely marvelous that Advent starts next Sunday -- right after Thanksgiving. It fits what American culture is doing, making the shift from thankfulness to Christmas preparation. I have the Hanging of the Greens service this Sunday (the Dennis Bratcher version from textweek.com) which means that my preaching needs to be really short, more of a homily or meditation. I haven't even begun to look at the lectionary texts because I've been thinking for awhile that during Advent my congregation needs to hear that we must make room for Christ to be born among us. We have some preparations to attend to. My daughter's riding coach gave birth 2 months early last week. The baby is fine! But there is no room prepared yet. (there's a shower this Sunday for her! the baby is still in the NICU). We've been talking in our church about growing for some time now, but when new people come, we often pretend they aren't there. We haven't prepared ourselves to receive Christ in them. So I'm working with that idea this week.

I wish I could post the power point I did last week for our stewardship finale, but I don't know how to save it as a video so I can upload it. If anyone can help me, let me know!

Also, please remember to order from Amazon through this site during the Christmas season! (and to google through this site!) It's an easy way for you to help ME! I've been able to make about $10/month (sometimes more) that I can use toward the girls' school books. So please, continue to help! And invite your friends to visit as well.

What are your plans for this Sunday?

I Forgot to Say Thank You

2008-11-19T10:51:00.002-05:00

I'm preaching from Mark this week -- the story of the 10 lepers. It's a great Thanksgiving text and will tie in well to our last week with a stewardship emphasis. I was struck, as I read the passage, by how much I forget to say thank you or, in a larger understanding of thanks, how often I forget to PRACTICE thanksgiving. I drove through Zolfo Springs, FL on Monday, a small town with 2 gas stations that catch all of us driving from one place to another. The price at the pump said $1.99! I hadn't seen it below $2 in a few years now and immediately stopped to fill up the car. I did it for under $20!!!! Now, my first thoughts were on the realization that gas won't stay here for long. But my second thought immediately went to the understanding that I would have money "left over" in my budget this month. I allot $240/month for gas -- that's been the equivalent of 6 fill-ups (we have two cars). Now, suddenly on this beautiful fill-up, I realize I may in fact have half of that . . . for me! What can I do with $120 "extra" dollars?! Well, I could pay down some debt! I could buy some Christmas presents I wasn't sure I'd be able to buy. I could save it for a day when gas isn't as "cheap." But as I read the lesson for this coming Sunday, I was struck by the fact that I never once asked how I could say "thank you" to God for providing this "extra" money in my budget. I was one of the 9 running off in excitement to continue on with my life. But I fit into the early part of the story because I have not yet "spent" my extra money. I still have time to say thank you. I still have time to PRACTICE thanksgiving. I know I will tithe from that special blessing. But I'm also wondering if I should just return it to God. I wonder if I should not use the rest to give someone else an "extra" bonus.

It all goes back to the sermons of the last 6 weeks -- when we give, we always have more than enough. When we live our thanks, we become generous of heart and it changes us. I'm finding I'm being changed by these sermons. (!) I went home last week and told my husband that I want to start giving more -- not just in my church offering, but in my life. I supposed that would be practicing thanksgiving. What better way to spend a life!

Duh, It's About Fear!!!

2008-11-12T09:37:00.002-05:00

I don't know why it took me so long to figure out the fact that FEAR is a key element in Sunday's story. I guess I've heard the parable of the talents so much that I thought it was about good investments or something. In this article: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_n30_v110/ai_14289215 there is a wonderful reminder that the danger of fear is articulated in this story. I'm jumping up and down (not physically, but mentally) because I've recognized so much fear in my congregation over the past month -- fear about the economy, fear about the church's slow growth, fear about the church's income, fear about dying, fear about living in these uncertain times, fear about change, blah blah blah! I look at the parable now and hear -- Beloved, what good are you if you are afraid?! You do NOTHING for the kingdom of God! At least try something! I've given you so much to invest in the lives of the kingdom, why do you hold on for dear life?!

So this frames my new approach to Matthew's Parable of the Talents!

How to Earn a Better Return on Your Investment

2008-11-10T13:24:00.003-05:00

The parable of the talents makes its face known in the lectionary readings for next Sunday. Knowing that I'm in the middle of stewardship season makes this a natural lesson for those of us who aren't sure what the market will do next. At last week's Finance and Stewardship meeting, one of our members expressed that he had lost 40% of his money in stocks which would effect what he would be able to live on in the coming 12 months . . . in other words, his pledge will reflect the stock market. And I think that is sad. While I don't have a clue about taking a loss in stocks because I've not had the opportunity to invest anything in stocks, I know that the church has lost $10,000 in their conservative investments, so I'd guess that the pain of loss is very real for some people.

Strangely, the parable of the talents seems to demonstrate how the stock market is supposed to work. Make your money work for you and you'll get a good return on your investment. And it seems even harsher realizing that so many people thought they were doing the wise thing by investing in the stock market and then the manager comes in and chastises the one who did not earn a good return on his investment. It's like the kingdom of heaven is about a ruthless rich guy who is willing to take apart his Merrill Lynch securities investor . . . is it really HIS fault? Surely the manager should take some responsibility for even suggesting that these guys do anything with his money, right?

A story comes to mind (!) about a couple of churches. One held onto every penny they had for fear that they might need it someday. They wanted to be considered wise by not spending their money on ministries in the present so that they could have ministries in the future. Little by little they stopped doing ministry altogether, and as a church they died before their money ran out. No one saw them as a community willing to give all they had for the benefit of others. No one saw them for their love. A second church was about to die. They had four women left. All of the husbands had passed away and their children went to larger, more vibrant churches. The women rotated preaching every week and began to respond to the word of God that had been planted in them. They sold their church building and began meeting in each other's houses, and then they asked -- what can we do to live out a life of faith with what we have? And they established a fund to feed the hungry and assist the poor. They gave it all away before they died. Which of these two churches was the wise church? Which understood what it meant to invest their lives in the kingdom of God? Go and do likewise.

The Parable of 10 Virgins and an Oil Shortage

2008-11-06T11:25:00.002-05:00

I put the title "10 virgins and an oil shortage" on my church's sign 3 years ago, when last the parable from Matthew 25 made its way into our homilies. It got a good response. However, this week, I think I'm going somewhere different with my ideas. See what you think.

While we are a community of believers, we each have an individual job to do. We can't just assume that others will do the job for us. Being stewardship season, I think it is important for us to realize that we can't rely only on those who are "better off than we" (i.e. better supplied than we) to keep the church afloat or to do the work of the whole church. Excuses just don't work on the day of the Lord. We are ALL to participate. It is foolish NOT to do our job.

A couple of stories come to mind: one is the election. We've all just seen history being made because so many people did their jobs. My husband told me on the morning of the election that he didn't see the point of voting because the electoral college could easily discount his vote in the larger picture. I told him of the importance of just showing support, just caring, just participating. And he went out to vote (I'm smiling here). It was his first time. (I suppose that would make him one of the 10 virgin voters) But anyway, you should have seen him beaming afterwards. He felt that he was a part of the US community . . . And he wouldn't go to bed until he heard the final results. He stayed up glued to the computer and celebrated because he knew his vote had made a difference. (I'm still weighing whether or not to use this story in my congregation because my county was a red county).

I also think of the many stories when people who are not even involved in the church critique it. This scripture invites us instead to participate and to change it. "Be the change you want to see in others" comes to mind for me. And I'm thinking about the potential of what can happen if we each decide to do our job -- if we get 100% pledging (even at only $1!), if we get everyone to participate in a ministry or a mission, etc. And as I think about potential, I'm drawn to my friend, Dixie's, retelling of the feeding of the 5000 with sippy cups of apple juice and goldfish crackers -- how when we each do our duty instead of expecting others to do it for us, we can easily do more than we ever dreamed possible. He told the story reminding his congregation that the 5000 fed were men and that the story says that they also fed women and children that day. And he reminded his congregation of the many parents he knows who pack loads of snacks to go out to church or a restaurant or even the grocery store . . . anything to help the kids stay still. And so, he imagined the hungry being fed when each mother reached deeply into her pocket book and decided she DID have something to share -- she had a bag of dried fish left over from last week's soccer game or a box of raisins from the long trip to Jerusalem. Or perhaps she had a sippy cup of applejuice or some zwieback that she had leftover from when her toddler was teething. And then Dixie challenged everyone to consider what they had in excess of what they needed and, for this passage, I guess I ask people if they are willing to do their job so that everyone can be fed, so that, on the Day of the Lord, everyone can be wisely prepared because they planned ahead, they participated, and they are ready.

Sermon Finale

2008-11-02T13:57:00.002-05:00

So I once again went a different direction with my sermon today. I told the story of the Little Red Hen and really talked about how the Little Red Hen deserved to be the one to feast on the bread all by herself. She had earned it. She worked hard unlike the other lazy animals. But then I talked about how in Matthew, the humbled would be exalted. That in Jesus' world, the little red hen would receive no greater love than any of the lazy animals. Grace is free -- we can't deserve it. And as much as we might want the praise for ourselves, it's just not about us. It's about grace . . . for all.

Who's Really Our Leader?

2008-10-29T11:32:00.002-04:00

OK, so it's a lame title for Sunday's sermon, but I really wanted to work toward some tie-ins: 1) with the election -- I've heard so many people complaining about this election -- like we're doomed one way or another. I happen to think it's good that people are complaining, that means that change -- of one sort or another -- is coming. At least that is what they teach us in church transformation classes. But what I want to emphasize is that we're not doomed one way or another. In fact, God is still the one we should serve before anyone else. Sunday's scripture (Matthew 23:1-12) emphasizes that human leaders are often self-serving and that ultimately we need to place our faith in God. Verse 10 "The Messiah is your only leader." 2) with my church's stewardship theme of "belonging." I want to remind people once again that they belong to God BEFORE country. Sometimes I think we forget that God is much larger than one country. And we act surprised when we discover that God is actually God of all -- hmmm . . . interesting concept. 3) True Christianity is seen, not politicized. I love the commentary on the Pharisees in verses 5-7, "Everything they do is just to show off in front of others. They even make a big show of wearing Scripture verses on their foreheads and arms, and they wear big tassels for everyone to see. They love the best seats at banquets and the front seats in the meeting places. And when they are in the arket, they like to have people greet them as their teachers." In other words, we who follow God rather than politicians are to live our faith so no one wonders what it is we believe. This morning on msn.com, one of the headlines was: What is Sarah Palin's religion? Who cares! If we can't tell by looking at her life, what does it matter?

So these are my early considerations for next week's sermon. I also will be serving communion on Sunday so will consider how the gifts of God for the people of God fit in as well. I also really like the greatest/least story elements. Makes me think of the fables about the lion who was saved by the mouse who chewed him out of a hunter's net. I'm wondering if I might use that . . .

For those of you following my exercise, I've exercised daily for the past 14 days!!!! 30 minutes of Wii Fit each day is marvelous! My Wii Fit age has been in the low 30s all week long so I'm doing OK for my age group. My hips are staying sore from the advanced Hula Hooping and my weight is stable, though not going down. I'm eating well (not excessive, not unhealthy) but can't initiate the weight loss. Maybe I should drink more water.

Daily Post

2008-10-26T21:06:00.002-04:00

I'm trying for the daily post these days. Had a really nice service this morning after I got over my frustration with my printer not working and the church's internet being down and the All Saints Banner missing in action. It was Pastor Appreciation Day and the church surprised me (really, they did) with a cake and a bunch of cards. I needed that. I still do. I've been really doubting myself lately. I know I'm becoming a better preacher every week. They let me know that. And my stories are getting better the more I tell them. I'm learning to listen for God as I speak and it's amazing to preach like that. The story is incredibly powerful. Today I was preaching on how we are to treat neighbors (the anyman/anywoman) as we would treat family and I was convicted myself of my desire to look out for my family before anyone else. I still don't know what God wants me to do about it, but I do want to really think about how I can LIVE my love of neighbor. I believe that will stay with me for a few days. I guess I am being changed right alongside my congregation. But my doubt is more about wondering if I am really liked. It sounds so junior high, but I really care about whether or not people like me. My congregation is full of people who are not in my peer group so I don't suppose they ever will really "like" me though they will appreciate me. And I think this is what bugs me the most. I have friends my age (not in my church) who like me for me. But I wonder if a congregation is supposed to "like" their pastor. They say they do, but I don't know . . . Maybe I'm PMSing or something. This is just the stuff that roams around my mind when I've had a long day with little sleep. Perhaps I should try again in the morning.

Sermon Surmises

2008-10-25T19:23:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to work out my sermon for Sunday and, like everything else, I get overwhelmed by the many possibilities. But it's a good overwhelmed. There is so much good stuff in the scripture that I can't decide where God's leading me through it. One of the things I learned in my storytelling workshop is that I must decide on the M.I.T. -- the most important thing -- to guide my storytelling. But it's also true that sometimes, as you tell stories, the stories proclaim their own M.I.T. My job is to listen for both -- both my MIT and my story's MIT -- sensing how to focus in on only one MIT.

Sunday's scripture is from Matthew 22:34-46 (though I'm stopping at 40). 34When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, 35and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” 37He said to him, “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38This is the greatest and first commandment. 39And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

My church's stewardship emphasis this year is on BELONGING and so this week I'm hoping to focus on the M.I.T. that we belong to one another. My research has led me to the understanding that in 1st century Mediterranean culture, to Love was an action rather than an emotion. Further, the concept that one must love one's neighbor as one's self was not the psychological appeal that we must love ourselves (thanks, Sarah Dylan, for that one) but rather the reminder that we must love others as we love our own family members. I serve a retirement congregation where most of the members were raised in the Depression. They know what it means to hoard just in case. And always in the back of their mind, there is the hope that when they die they will have something left over to leave for their families. (and because of their frugality, they will most likely have more than anyone would dare believe!) This hope that there will be something leftover, however, doesn't seem to be what Jesus was talking about. Rather, I think more about the way that we try desperately to care for our family members, that they may have more than us and better than us.

A few weeks ago I was talking with my mother about generosity. She's a very generous person and has willingly given anything she has to help someone else. But she mentioned that it can be quite frustrating when no one pays back what she has lended them. Immediately I remembered all of the many dollars I could possibly owe her for all of the generosity she has offered -- from dinners out when we come to visit to a place for my husband to stay while he's been in school. I made mention of this and she immediately said -- oh no, not you! I wanted to give these things to you! Besides, when I am old, I expect you to care for me! Her attitude toward me, however, is exactly the attitude we are to have toward our neighbor. Jesus wants us to bend over backward for our neighbor -- giving them exactly what we would give our beloved son or daughter. And why? because we belong to each other.

To love God, we must love our neighbor, tangibly. We are not just to have that Christian emotional love in our hearts that says, "I love you but I don't like what you do." Rather, we are to love them with our actions. And who is our neighbor? it's everybody. It's the person living next door that I've never had over for coffee. It's the cashier at Publix that has had a horrible day. It's the teenager that plans to drop out of school this year because they just don't care. It's the family that abandoned their child because they couldn't feed her. It's the village living in poverty and oppression in a far off country. It's the soldier fighting because he was taught to hate from the time he was a boy. We could spend our whole lives trying to love our neighbor as ourselves, working to make sure that their needs were taken care of as much as ours were. It's intense, tough love.

When you're on the recipient end of being the neighbor, you understand the correlation to God. When your needs are met by someone unexpectedly, you can't help but believe that God loves you so incredibly much. So give so that someone else may know love.

This is my direction for Sunday. I'll tell stories to communicate all of this. And it sounds as if my M.I.T. is a bit more than just "we belong to each other," but rather something more along the lines of how acting on our neighbor's behalf with the actions we reserve for our own family is, indeed, loving God with all of our hearts. I wonder how that will translate?

Blog Updates

2008-10-24T20:43:00.002-04:00

Besides my posts, I am adding lots of fun links from my page. Take some time (if you have it) to look around. You'll find some of my favorite music sampled via mp3 links to the left. Down below you'll find some ingenious Jesus products. (I really want the Magic WWJD Jesus!) I also have a link to my non-church job where I would love for you to buy eco-friendly products (like solumel that gets out permanent ink from walls and tables! or Melapower which is so concentrated a laundry detergent that you only have to use one ounce per load and I swear it works! Talk about saving money! Just click on my no debt family link and fill out the form on there!) You'll also see links to books that I'm reading or that I recommend and yes, Kira Salek is now one of my favorite authors. And if all of this seems like too much marketing for your taste, just read my post and come back often. I'll try to keep things enjoyable!

Storytelling from the Pulpit

2008-10-24T14:32:00.002-04:00

As many of you know, I attended a conference last week about how to tell stories from the pulpit. As I emphasized to my congregation, this is not an attempt to tell LIES from the pulpit, but rather to find the place where our lives match up with the faith story. Like many, my firsthand experience with sermons was the 3 point sermon . . . and in my upbringing all three points had to start with the same letter . . . i.e. God wants us to 1) STEP outside our comfort zone, 2) SEEK the lost, and 3) SAVE their souls . . . yada yada yada. But I wasn't comfortable with the three point approach and especially not with the alliteration. It just wasn't me and God called me to be me, not to fit into somebody else's box. So I've been experimenting for the last 7 years (yes, I've been ordained for 7 years next month!) with the sermon style that is "mine." In my field education experiences, I learned that sermons could be well-written, and thus the focus became the Word, which, according to John 1, is a pretty amazing thing. I found myself enjoying preaching from the manuscript, realizing that I could push myself while pushing my listeners, but I knew that there was something missing between my manuscript and my congregation's response. And so I began searching again. In seminary I studied homiletics under David Buttrick, one of the "greats" when it comes to homiletics. He had rules to follow, but not so intensely that they couldn't be broken. His rules were more about content and making sure stories and analogies "fit" what was to be communicated with the congregation. But what really has stayed with me from his class was his acknowledgment that in today's fast-paced society, people can't grasp hold of 3 points anymore . . . in fact, you're lucky if you can get them to grasp hold of 1 point. He reminded us of the society we live in . . . where information is thrown out at us so quickly and we are, as the receivers, asked to sort through that information at lightning speed. We'll take that, thanks. Toss that, it's junk. Mentally that's what we do. I wanted to find a way to communicate across generations in a way that would undo the expectations of the now ONE point sermon. And how better to do that than a story.

Doug Lipman is a professional storyteller/marketer who just so happens to be married to a wonderful Disciples of Christ pastor. So when the opportunity came for me to attend a storyteller workshop for clergy at his home, I didn't hesitate. I got permission from my session to be gone for a few days and off I went. What I discovered was the reason I'm always buying children's books and reading fantasy novels. I was reminded that I LOVE stories. And I was also reminded that a good story is open-ended enough to meet us wherever we have a need. Children find their place in a well-told story. Senior citizens find their place in a well-told story. And so I am making it my goal to tell stories this year -- all year long. I don't want to simply tell inspirational stories that come through my e-mail 50 times each day, but I want to tell stories that connect to the stories of my faith.

This Sunday I'm preaching about "the greatest commandment." What is it, Jesus, the Sadducee wants to know -- Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself. It's pretty basic, you know, but in the context of the story, it becomes HUGE and invites all ages in to listen and believe. 93% of this story is unknown. So I wonder what some of the details were. I wonder why the Sadducee is asking Jesus this question . . . is he trying to "catch" Jesus like the Pharisee who failed in the paragraph before? What is Jesus feeling as he is asked this question? What is so important in the rest of the law that Jesus seems to ignore? What sounds and sights surround them in their discussion? Does someone else watch what is going on? And then, as we transition this faith story to our story, I wonder how many times we fail to love God because we fail to love our neighbor. I wonder what the stories are in my own life where I didn't attend something because I knew "so and so" would be there. I wonder how exclusive I've become in many areas. I wonder if knowing my own exclusivity would encourage me to open my heart to those I have excluded. And I remember what it feels like to be excluded, to be ignored or not taken seriously.

The story is so broad, yet to pertinent. So here I rest, with memories and feelings instead of the all-important Word. Perhaps this is what it means to live what your learn or to practice what you preach. Whatever it is, I'm lovin' it!

My Friend, the Wii Balance Board

2008-10-22T16:44:00.002-04:00

The Wii balance board is my friend. Every morning when I step on, it waves at me and expresses joy in seeing me again. It offers me tips if I want them, but understands if I'm just not in the mood. It doesn't tell me my weight, though it does remind me not to snack if my weight increases from one day to the next. Don't get me wrong, it's not my BEST friend. I don't want to spend ALL of my time with it (though my body would be stunning if I did!) but there's nothing like a little encouragement at 6:00 AM. The kids have been getting up early to watch me exercise (joy joy . . . ) but my 7 year old is a great encourager. I'll be groaning as I do my sit-ups (I had forgotten I even HAD abs!) and my daughter will cheer, "great job, Mom!" every time I start the crunch. So, for those of you cheering me on from cyberspace, I'm exercising . . . everyday. I'm aiming for 30 minutes/day though today I stopped mid-jog to groan and quit. But I'll finish before the day's up. My BMI is slowly going down as long as I'm exercising. Over time I should see something.

Running to Oklahoma

2008-10-17T09:32:00.002-04:00

I'm in Oklahoma taking an incredible course on how to use story in worship and it's both fun and incredibly challenging. I spent time yesterday on the elliptical they have here and took a noon walk through the beautiful cool woods. Ahhh, fall! I miss this at home! Today I haven't done the elliptical, but I'm hoping for a mid-day walk. We'll see. I miss wii fit, though.

Back to the Pavement . . . Kinda

2008-10-13T21:01:00.003-04:00

I've been waiting for the heat to let up before heading back out to the pavement with my nice Saucony running shoes and my exercise clothes. But I forgot that in FL the heat really doesn't even begin to let up until late October. What to do?! Well, I think I've found the answer. I don't have room for a treadmill in my house (nor the money to buy one.) But my dear hubby got a Wii for his birthday this past summer and it finally came home two days ago. I set it up with that awesome balance board and Wii Fit program and I get to daily work on my balance and get the update on how much weight I've lost or gained . . . quite the humbling experience. But this morning at 6 AM I pulled on my tennis shoes and ran around a whole island with other runners cheering me on. The temperature was perfect . . . being that the night A/C was still on in addition to the fan above my head. The other runners were quite friendly and waved even when they passed me. My trainer kept encouraging me to keep it up. I crossed a bridge and saw a beautiful waterfall. I ran through a quaint town with absolutely no traffic or pollution. And when I crossed the finish line, people applauded me and jumped up and down! What a high! You'd never guess you could get a workout running in place in your living room, but I was sweating and panting by the end . . . and yes, I worked out for a full 30 minutes and at least half of that was at a running pace. My muscles are a bit sore tonight. I guess that's a good thing too.

We've incorporated Wii Fit into our homeschool day. The girls each have to complete 30 minutes on the days they don't have cheerleading. Bill and I are committed to the same. I played around with the ski jump and the soccer heading as well as step aerobics and yoga. It's good stuff. And best of all I don't have to go to the gym and face all of those skinny people. I can save that fuel and honestly look at myself (they adjust the Mii to be heavy when we're heavy . . . kind, huh?!) and set achievable goals in my own home.

Wednesday I'm leaving for Oklahoma for a few days. I'm going to learn about the gift of storytelling and how to use it in sermons, etc. I'm really psyched. But I won't be able to take the Wii with me. I hear there are some good running trails in the neighborhood where I'll be so I'll pack my shoes and plan to enjoy some nicer fall-ish weather.

So I guess the title of my post shouldn't be "back to the pavement" but back to the tile floor. Hmm . . .

This is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the heat in fall is almost as bad as the heat of summer; where the 89 year old neighbor killed a 4 1/2 foot rattlesnake in his yard with a garden hoe while the snake was choking on a squirrel!), and where the kids don't even bother to go outside so afeared they are at the wildlife!

Vitamins

2008-09-12T15:42:00.002-04:00

Hello my friends! I've found that now that school has started AND my husband is home I have very little time to blog. But it's so nice to have friends checking in on me so I'll try for a quick update.

1. As I mentioned, my husband is home. He's taking a semester off of school to share in the joys of parenting and work on getting healthy with me. Because we're on such a limited budget, we no longer have the excuse, "I went out to eat!" or "I don't have time to cook." We are now buying food two weeks at a time and my dear husband is cooking marvelous veggie-filled meals. We DID happen to polish off the oreos that he found in the back of the pantry, but even as we got a sugar rush, we both commented on the drug of white sugar we could feel in our system even as exhaustion rushed in. We know it's a drug. The oreos are now gone.

2. I'm on day 2 of vitamins! I've ordered vitamins with oglio-fructose complex which is supposed to aid in the absorption of the good stuff I eat. I'm giving it a month to see if it increases my energy. So far, so good.

3. Clean house. We're keeping the house clean. I've got the kids using www.flylady.com student journals and it has done wonders for the whole family's pitching in to keep this house clean. Because the kids do the dishes now, I don't mind using my cleaning time to mop or sweep up dog hair or even clean the bathrooms. My husband is doing laundry and helping with the clean up also. With all of us doing our part, the house stays clean and my mental health is so much better.

4. I didn't join the YMCA. I don't have enough money to join the Y, even just their swimming pool, and even though I know they have a sliding scale, I don't think "$0" is something they offer to a family that has a job. SO, I'm not exercising. I'm not too pleased with myself over that, but cleaning house has kept me more active than I had been. I don't have much time for the computer anymore so I'm not on my tushie all the time. I purchased two workout videos. If I can find the time of day to do them (maybe after lunch?) then I'll get with the program there. I still want to start running again. I guess I'll just have to decide to do it. (And yes, Christy, the bike-to-work goal will begin when cooler weather comes along and the rainy season ends here)

5. I've been reading good books. I discovered the book White Mary and LOVED it! I was challenged to remember what life is like in other parts of the world and how privileged we are actually living while also enjoying an incredible storyteller. I also checked out the newly released book Schooled which totally freaked me out about Upper East Side Manhattan moms & dads paying tutors to do their private-schooled students' homework so they could get into an Ivy League School where they would once again pay someone (upwards of $450/hour) to do their homework. And I began to wonder just what "Ivy League" means anymore. Quick read -- great ethical and moral questions. I found myself being sucked into the "teachers should be paid more so who cares if we're doing their homework for them?!" mentality and also seeing my own "pastors should get paid more" feelings flooding my head. Good stuff.

6. Eco-friendly products. Part of my cleaning frenzy has been my new part time "job" which, I'll admit, isn't a job yet because I haven't sold a thing. My goal is to get my family out of debt so I've signed on to refer people to a company that sells eco-friendly cleaning products and make-up and vitamins and everyday household items we're already buying from someone else. I've decided to TRY the products before I push them too hard and I'm absolutely amazed. I did laundry with this eco-friendly detergent and was amazed at how clean everything turned out. It's all really cost-effective too because it is highly concentrated. It's all non-toxic, biodegradable stuff that's affordable and so I'm having a blast cleaning house and feeling good about these products. All I've done is change where I'm spending my money and it's saving me money while helping the environment. So I feel good about this possibility. I refuse to sell to church members or even talk about it with them. That, to me, is a conflict of interest so I'm just not going to go there. I even have a real website! www.nodebt.fourpointmoms.com But I am glad to have found something I can believe in that only takes time if I want it to take time. And I'm glad to have something with the potential of getting me out of debt.

7. Chastise me about the no-exercise thing if you want, but I'm gradually making good changes in my life that are leading to a healthier me. At the heart of my healthy,happy personhood is having my family together again. I hadn't realized the burden I was carrying living apart. It's not forever, but maybe it will make the next separation a little more bearable, knowing we're willing to take time off from stuff to be together.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the sun shines brightly thanks to a turn in paths for Hurricane Ike, where the mosquitoes are quickly becoming this county's "bird," and where families enjoy homemade meals together and date night means checking out a movie from the library. ;o)

What AM I doing?

2008-08-30T15:59:00.002-04:00

Because you are chomping at the bit to hear what's up here, I'll tell you. I'm staying healthy. I'm not running, but my daughter and I are talking/deciding this weekend whether or not we are going to train to run a 5K together. I would love to have her as a running partner and it would be great for both of us. Having a goal in mind will also be good. I have another friend who has offered to 'train" us via facebook. God knows I'd need training. The best part is that the run is through Animal Kingdom so she and I would get to site-see as we go.

I have been eating well also. I've been planning my meals ahead of time which makes them delicious, homemade, and affordable . . . not to mention healthy! The crock pot is my new best friend. I "splurged" today by having Taco Bell for lunch, but won't make myself feel guilty about it. I'll just keep planning future meals so we can all be happy and healthy.

Also, beginning next week, I'll be checking in at the YMCA on Tuesdays and Thursdays to swim some laps at their new pool. The girls have 3 hours at the cheer gym during which I can work, make visits and/or swim laps. I hope to do some of all of that.

Well, I've gotta get going. The kids are at a swim party and I'm the driver du jour.
KT

Here I Go Again On My Own

2008-08-20T13:44:00.003-04:00

I had the wonderful luxury of a running partner last week (thanks, Kipp) who, buff as he is, stuck with me as I moved slowly and even walked on the uphill climbs. Our walks ended Sunday when a week of late night activities (including karaoke and late nights with my clergy friends) left me choosing the pillow over a running mate. However, I did covenant with my covenant group to keep at this "taking care of myself" health routine throughout the year. So here I am, FINALLY home, and determined to care for my body. Snacks have been changed to bottles of water, and that's good because ultimately I just want to have something in my mouth. I'm not picky about what it is and I've noticed that unhealthy food and even drinks don't help me feel good. Food involves more veggies and I'll toss out the sugar (again). Christy is my official eating partner, even though she lives in Philadelphia. She'll be the one I answer to. Lisa is my running partner, even though she is in Maryland. I know that every morning she's up and jogging on the treadmill. So even if I go out on my own (my neighbor officially moved!) I'll know she's up and going to. So here I go again on my own . . . only it's not really alone. I just know it's one day at a time.

Running from God

2008-08-10T14:15:00.002-04:00

It's Sunday so of course I have to bring God into the discussion. Actually, I don't really HAVE to, but sometimes it happens. Actually, it's not me who is running from God. I have a parishioner who called me after church and wanted to talk to me about something. Actually, this parishioner is one of my deacons and has been amazing with my old people -- visiting them and driving them wherever they need to go. It's been wonderful. Well, one of my other deacons GAVE his old car to a young man who has been attending our church with his father (long story, father adopted him around the age of 11 and he had been in foster care before that. The kid has also been in jail once for breaking into a store when he was drunk and this happened not too long ago. Anyway, he's a pretty good kid, just made some bad choices along the way. The kid needed some money to pay for tax, title, and insurance so church members have been letting him do some work for them. Cutting down a branch here -- $10. Helping someone with their garden -- $30. Etc.

So this kid may need a ride in the near future to go pick up his new car. I asked my deacon if he would make himself available to drive him. Today he called and said he wasn't comfortable with this kid. And he asked if that made him a bad deacond. I never answered his question directly. I wanted to yell out, "YES it does! This is your job -- young person or old person, felon or peaceloving, this is your job!" But I remembered that when I point fingers at him I'd also be pointing fingers back at myself. I'm perfectly comfortable with this kid (though I wouldn't go alone because of the whole 'Don't visit a male by yourself' thing which I tend to follow most of the time.) And I would gladly drive him to pick up his car. But what is it about teenagers and young adults that bug the older people? I titled my post "running from God" because I think that's exactly what we do when we ostracize anyone from our care. I've got church members who are difficult, but I don't feel right in running from them. I've got other church members who are young, some who aren't sure they believe, others who are crotchety, but I believe that they are all children of God. Maybe it comes down to understanding what each of our callings are. I LOVE working with children and youth. But my deacon prefers working with the elderly. I guess the body of Christ needs both the left and the right hands to accomplish its work. I'm not even going to say which hand I am.

Peace of Christ be with you.

The Mental Hurdles

2008-08-09T19:47:00.002-04:00

I can feel my need to run, to exercise, to something! It's bottled up in here yet I go nowhere, shaking nothing. I don't run. I could easily blame the heat (and I do) because I know in a month the temperature should start to drop a couple of degrees. But that's not all it is. I took my kids to the neighbor's pool yesterday and even though they begged me to get in, I didn't. (Honestly, I had it in my mind that the pool would be too cold.) So I literally have to psych myself up to care for myself. It's unreal. Or maybe it's VERY real.

I'm excited about heading to Philadelphia on Wed. because I WILL have a running partner (or more than one) who will make me get out there and push my body. I'd like to get back into making this into a habit. So when I return I can get myself out there yet again. I also plan to sign up at the Y for their pool pass (we have a brand new pool at the Y with swimming lanes) so I can swim whenever my kids are at their cheer class. I want to take care of myself!

Everyone around me is on some diet or another. I refuse to go on a diet because I've heard that the ups and downs of dieting are bad on your body too. I'd rather learn to eat right, and honestly I know how to eat right I just get pulled into the glory of sugar and other such processed body killers. And I usually eat when I am down or stressed. I've gotta figure out how to get myself running for stress. See, it's like this circular argument of dealing with life.

Life is wonderful right now (as you can see in the last post) but still there is stress. Thanks for listening to my daily rant.

I Had A Dream

2008-08-07T14:21:00.003-04:00

I had a dream about 2-3 weeks ago that has been staying with me. I won't bore you with the details but I haven't had a dream like this in ages -- you know, the ones where you are sure there is a message in there somewhere but you just can't for the life of you figure out what that message is?! So I contacted my old College Professor who did a lot of dream work and via e-mail we began to assess this dream. It appears that I am sure that things are changing in my life for the better and that the changes will be painless and a "welcome surprise." Why is my consciousness doing this to me?! So my dreamworker (for lack of a better name) is asking me to think about all of the possibilities in my life. I have a ton of them. I have ideas galore about what would be best for my family, me, our future, etc. But in the meantime I am swamped with debt -- mostly student debt but lots nonetheless. And I wonder how on earth I will ever get out from under there. In the back of my mind I hear this voice of God telling me that God's riches are enough, that I should not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough concern of its own. And so I've begun to rest in that and dream about the possibilities for this life of mine. As I imagine, I wonder if there is a way I can help fellow clergy get out of debt so that they can serve their churches without worrying about how they are going to feed their families. So I signed up to make some money on the side by selling a product I believe in, hoping that I'll be able to help others in the same boat. I felt good about that, and yet I still hear my longterm dreams which include offering spiritual direction at a retreat center of sorts, and hosting homeschool camps for kids a few times a year, where the kids can do a week's intensive of learning on one subject at a time. (I swear, as overwhelming as all of this seems to you, it's exhilerating to me!)

SO, I met with this guy this morning who basically owns my little subdivision. I've heard of him millions of times and finally got to meet him over coffee this morning. He asks what my vision for the church is and I tell him that it's been awfully difficult to envision what's next for the church because I didn't know where the community intended to go (it's been at a stand still for about 25 years). He begins to describe HIS vision and together we talk about the possibilities for the church within that vision. It was amazing! He was interested in one thing and I had the perfect contact for him that would not only help the church but also the community. I was interested in something else and he began to tell me the perfect opportunity that would not only help me realize my dream but would also provide a needed service to the community. Then, get this, he tells me (granted I've not shared my dream) that he has a friend has some land near me that he's wanting to GIVE to someone who would set up some sort of retreat center/spiritual learning place. I looked at him dumbfounded and told him my dream. He gave me this guy's phone number!

I think I'm going to keep dreaming to see what happens next!

No Running, No Excuses

2008-08-05T12:07:00.002-04:00

I HAVE no excuse! Everyone is well again at my house! The girls are both home. It doesn't rain in the morning . . . always afternoon. Hurricanes are hitting a few states over from here. I am just not donning my running shoes! Next week I will fly into Philadelphia where I am sure I will run . . . a lot. I have running partners there who will make sure my body gets whipped (or is that whooped?) into shape. Hopefully I will take a day or two before then to prepare myself for said whoopin'

The Swamp Thing

2008-08-03T12:36:00.000-04:00

This here frog greeted me when I came home from church today. He is sitting on my windowsill, right next to the front door, looking at me as if to say, "Don't worry, I won't jump, I'm too big and too old to jump." But do I listen to him? No way! This sucker's huge! I guess I shouldn't be too surprised to see swamp things since I live in the swamp. Not to mention right now it's VERY wet in our area -- standing water everywhere and the outdoors smell like a pig sty with very wet mud everywhere. This guy is no ordinary tree frog. He's big enough to be Tree Frog swallowed Frankenstein's growth serum. I half expect to hear the bionic woman music in the background as I watch him grow to an unnatural size. I swear it's Kermit's offspring because he's just SO
big! Well, enjoy the pictures and be thankful you're not here to see him live. I'm just thankful
he is eating all of the mosquitoes that have been swarming my front door.

Frogs, Frogs, Frogs! Thank you God for Frogs!

Just Me and My Girl

2008-07-31T10:53:00.002-04:00

My daughter has tonsilitis or strep throat. Needless to say, she's not let me get out of her sight much . . . not to run, not to go to work, nada. But I'm enjoying the few days I have to be just plain Mommy. My older daughter is staying over at a friend's house so that she doesn't catch whatever this yukky stuff is. Today seems to be a better day than yesterday. She's able to swallow liquids thanks to Tylenol and antibiotics. She's still feverish, but able to play independently for short spurts of time unlike yesterday when she just needed to be in my lap. I love being Mom.

Running From the Rain

2008-07-27T21:44:00.002-04:00

Sorry I've not posted this week. It's been VBS week which means lots of early mornings and exhausted evenings. I also didn't run during VBS because I had an extra 2 kids in my house. Each of my girls had a friend stay over for the week and while it made some things easier (they each were entertained throughout the day) I swear I spent a ton of time in the kitchen feeding four children. I found myself planning meals complete with vegetables and even got one little friend to eat broccoli cole slaw willingly despite the fact that her mother insists she won't touch broccoli. (Am I sneaky or what?!)

Anyway, when I finally sent the "extra" kids home on Friday, I got my husband back for the weekend and he and I got to go on dates and catch up on life without the kids. It was a great way to start the weekend. Then Saturday night after we put the kids to bed, he asks if I'd like to walk around the block with him. His walk around the block is 2.5 miles whereas, if you remember, my runs have been less than 2 miles. Well, we get the girls situated and safe with the phone nearby and take the dog around the block. I began jogging at my normal slow pace (equivalent to his slow walk -- darn those long legs) and was doing pretty well. About the time we hit the halfway point we realize that the clouds overhead are quickly coming together, meaning we expect an all out thunder storm. We decide to pick up the pace a bit and my slow jog begins to match his quicker-paced walk. Then the rumbles start and lightning starts to flash across the sky and I'm thinking a fast paced jog isn't such a bad idea. By the time we hit our street, the wind is blowing a combination of hot and cold and it's obvious the heavens are about to break loose so I decide to sprint home. My husband and the dog aren't far behind me.

All in all I did quite well -- probably jogged 2 miles -- and much of that at a higher speed than normal. Oddly, I did all of this not in my running shoes but in my daughter's generic pair of crocs which are extremely comfortable. My husband and I enjoyed our adventure "out" and were happy to get home still dry and un-singed by the electrical storm that was brewing all-too close.

My trip to Pennsylvania is now a little less than a month away and I still haven't lost my 10 pounds. However I feel that I am making some healthier choices little by little. The craziness of a summer schedule has been a challenge for sure. So I won't be wearing a new skimpy dress when I deplane in Philly (sorry to disappoint you, friends) but I should have more energy than usual. Time will tell.

Running and Old People

2008-07-17T17:25:00.002-04:00

My dog woke me up this morning to go running, and I did. Yes, pat me on the back. We went a bit further than yesterday but not quite as far as my 1.7 miles I'd say I'm up to about 1 mile now. I walked, jogged, and finished with a sprint. My knee is feeling OK, but I'm still mighty cautious with it. I think the best part of this exercise thing is that it makes me breathe.

But what I'm really writing about today is the need to complain. Actually, after today, I feel like I need to run for about an hour. I met with my CE chair this afternoon to plan Christian Education for the fall which, in a congregation of 5 kids is much more complicated than it needs to be. Anyway, she mentioned to me that one of my older members (who knows to come to me if she has a problem . . . we've been through this more than once) is upset because I told the session last winter (winter 2007) that I would be asking for a raise for 2009. Yes, I gave them a year to consider. She's upset because she believes, with the economy the way it is, that I should take a pay cut. So here's the situation: I took a pay cut two and a half years ago with the understanding from a few people that they would try to make up the budget deficit so I could recoup. what was cut the following year. Two years have passed and I haven't gotten even a cost of living increase. To make things more interesting, we've not had a budget deficit in two years. We've been able to come out in the black both years AND even make up the deficit from that very bad year. Fundraisers have helped with this, but the truth of the matter is . . . we're in good shape financially. Add to that a series of people joining the church and things are looking good. But she's upset and is starting rumors about my request for a raise before it's even gone through the session. Hear me out . . . it gets better. My student loans come due in January -- I have no more deferment options left. And they come due at $400/month. That's not a small sum. Add to that gas at $4/gallon (as opposed to $2 and change when I last got a raise) and I'm already working at a deficit. Am I doing my job? Yes. Sure, it's slow right now, but we've actually had quite a few in worship . . . I've made many hospital and home calls . . . I officiate at a memorial service on Sunday . . . and our income is pretty good for summer. I realize I am going to have to confront her on this issue . . .before it makes its way to who knows who?! So I feel as if I must run my heart out tomorrow morning just to re-teach myself to breathe . . . and maybe I'll pray for my enemies while I run. Novel idea. Grrr . . .

Better than Tylenol!

2008-07-16T08:03:00.002-04:00

The weather here in Central Florida is, to be gracious, oppressive. We've reached the humidity levels that just sit upon you . . . heavy and still. The temperatures have not been terrible. We've stayed in the high 80's and low 90's which is rather nice for this time of year, but the humidity is just plain ugly.

With humidity I get headaches. They start in my head and slow tense up my shoulders which makes my back ache. I took some ibuprofin yesterday and then tried to sleep it off last night but the stupid headache dully inhabited my dreams until I woke up at 6 . . . on my own.

Not knowing what else to do, I put my running clothes and shoes on, put the dog on a leash, and walked out the door (my daughter decided to spend the week with Nana while the other one is at camp). I walk/jogged about 3/4 of a mile. Not bad for the first time out in two weeks. And by the end of the walk through what felt like a hot sticky swamp (even at 6:30 AM), my headache was gone.

Hmmm . . .

The Update You've All Been Waiting For . . . Or Not!

2008-07-13T07:23:00.002-04:00

I hate to admit the truth here, but I've become lazy. I haven't done ANYTHING! No running. No walking. Occasional stretches. I've taken on the half-baked approach to life again. Totally sitting on the fence watching my muscles forget what I had taught them. I've got some health stuff going on and I know that's part of it, but it's not an excuse. I'm being lulled into complacency, watching my rear expand and my mind muddle. It's over 100 degrees here and I don't even enjoy stepping out my door. My neighbor has had to stop running to care for her mother. My oldest daughter is going to camp this week so if I do anything it will be with a 7-year-old in tow. Bear with me, my friends, as I renew my desire to want to lose these 10 pounds by August, as I want to learn to discover peace and tranquility from the pavement, as I want to learn what it means to be wholly healthy. But in the meantime I'd appreciate your support.

Must go make breakfast and go to church and preach about discipline. Geesh, I hate it when the gospel speaks to my life! (just kidding!)

Doctor's Reply

2008-07-07T15:07:00.002-04:00

I went to see my chiropractor today and he said the reason he quit running was because of that very same injury. It's tendonitis at the place where 3 tendons come together around the hamstring. But we talked about what I could do because (oddly) I really want to run. And I really want to run outside because I think that I get the feeling of peace because I'm out in nature. I hide within my artificial lights, computer, etc. way too much and I need the outdoors. So here's the plan (beginning tomorrow): I will put a heating pad on my knee when I wake up to warm up my muscles, tendons, etc. Then I will stretch -- hamstring stretches are the most important. Then I will do a brisk walk for a few days while I heal. After my walk I will stretch again and then, while sipping water, I will put a cool pack on my knee. I'm excited about getting back out there, even if it is brisk-walking, and this time I will bring my dog along with me. I know she'll enjoy it. My neighbor is out of town again (her mom is getting chemo treatments so I don't consider it abandonment) and she's now added to our two-some her other neighbor and that neighbor's high school aged son who is training for football. So we should have quite an exercise group!

Thanks for all of your caring responses. You are truly keeping me going this summer.

Injury

2008-07-05T21:47:00.002-04:00

I haven't run in 2 days and it feels strange. I really want to get out there. But I've been away from home a couple of mornings (long story) and haven't motivated myself in "new surroundings" to get myself up and at 'em. To make things more complicated, I pulled something when I ran a couple of times ago and it is really hurting. My husband, the doctor-in-training, says it's tendonitis on my left knee from using it in ways I haven't used it in a long time. I stretch before I walk/jog/sprint but that doesn't change the fact that this is still new to my body and my body is adjusting. Great. So I don't know whether I should keep it up or not. Like I said, I want to, but I don't want to cause greater stress to my injury. So tonight I'll put some ice on it to reduce the probable swelling. I'm Sabbathing on Sunday anyway and I'll see if I can find a knee brace after researching if it's OK to continue running or not. Any of you runners, can you advise me? (I absolve you of medical qualifications and promise not to sue you. After all, I don't have to take your advice, right?!)

A Ritual Memorializing the Thumb

2008-07-03T11:15:00.002-04:00

On Monday, my daughter received an orthodontic appliance to prohibit the sucking of her thumb. Yesterday, I looked into the backseat to see that she has discovered a way to insert her thumb between the appliance and the roof of her mouth. Good thing we were on the way back to the orthodontist for her sister at the time. The orthodontist made it impossible for her habit to continue. By last night, the little girl was in tears. She did not know how to go to sleep without her thumb in her mouth. I slept with her as she tossed and turned all night long, and I feel sad with her as she says goodbye to the security of her baby-hood. So I thought a ritual might be in order. I've not yet designed it, but feel it's time.

From I Corinthians 13:11 "When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways."

My daughter is, at the age of 7, still a child. But like everything in life, change is bound to happen. We grow. We develop. We change. And sometimes, life changes us. Now is the time for my daughter to give up one of those "childish ways." And it hurts. It hurts when you're 7. It hurts when you're 37 or 47 or 77! But throughout our life we have to give up childish ways. We cherish the memories of the thumb -- the cute smile that was always attached to a thumb and a blanket. We love the security that the sucking brought us, comfort of being close to Mommy, of a snuggle and a peace. And so the giving up of the thumb is a struggle as well, but it doesn't mean we have to give up the memories. It means only that we learn to trust the security and comfort of God more as we fall asleep each night. It means that we develop a new smile, just as beautiful and precious.

So as we let go of the thumb, we pray for God to hold us, like a child, so that we can grow up without our childish ways. We ask to grow as Jesus did, in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with God and other people. And we ask to do all of this in the comfort of our loving family, in the arms of a God who loves us so very much.

Oh God, take my thumb and use it to love others just as you have used it to show me love. Amen.

Don't Forget to Breathe

2008-07-02T13:01:00.002-04:00

My jogging endurance is getting really good until I forget to breathe and then suddenly I wonder if I will, in fact, live. The advantage of jogging WITH someone is that they remind you to do such involuntary work as "breathing" and continuing to move -- all signs of life. The burn is not nearly so vicious when I take the time to both inhale and exhale. This morning I got myself out there, not knowing if my running partner would show up or not. Thankfully, she did, because she pushed me beyond our normal 1.3 miles today and yes, I jogged more like 1.5-1.7 miles with a sprint after that. Needless to say, I did not feel good. But she pointed out to me that I was "recovering" a lot faster than I was two weeks ago and it's true. Give me about a minute or two and I'm able to resume conversation again. Can you believe it, tomorrow begins my third week of exercise?! And already I'm at the point where I am jogging for longer distances. I'm so proud of myself! And my energy level is wonderful and my perspective on caring for myself and others' abilities to care for themselves is also growing/changing. I committed for a month, but I hope I can make this work for longer!

Shh . . . I like running

2008-07-01T10:26:00.002-04:00

Even though everyone had told me that I wasn't the running type, I have to tell you I am really enjoying myself. I jogged another 1.3 miles today, sprinting at the end, and while my face turned a horrible color, it was really good to pound out my moodiness first thing in the morning. My life is in such a crazy place -- with my husband 70 miles away, my churchwork slowing down WAY too much during the summer since everyone heads north, and my kids buzzing from camp to camp -- I don't know who's coming or when I'm going. But pushing my own body is something I have a bit of control over, and the rhythmic pounding of my heart rhyming with my breath is helping me find peace in the chaos.

In the meantime, I wish I knew how to make my life less crazy. I wish I knew a way I could live with my husband AND pay the bills right now. I wish I knew what God was calling me to do and how to watch that happen. But right now I don't. So I'll keep pounding the pavement. I do enjoy it. But don't tell anybody.

A Day of Rest

2008-06-30T20:07:00.002-04:00

OK, so the only things that rested today were muscles. I didn't run, but I drove all over Florida (or so it seemed) taking my girls to the orthodontist, etc. Since I ran so much yesterday I opted out of the morning run (not to mention I really needed the sleep!) But I did find a new form of exercise that made my arms a bit sore. My parents (whom we visited last night) got a Wii. I played Wii bowling and Wii tennis last night and my arms are a little on the sore side. I was amazed at my daughter who played Wii Boxing and she worked up a sweat fast! Way to go, Baby! My husband loves the thing and can barely move he's been playing it so much. Even my dad got into it. But here's the thing . . . while I know that the experience of everything we do is mitigated by the mind, how can you work up a sweat boxing the air? You miss the rebound of the "hit" and somehow it just doesn't make sense to me. But my husband assures me it's just like the real thing . . . that somehow you communicate to your mind that you DID "hit" something. Unreal . . . literally.

In the meantime, I'm going to hit some "real" pavement tomorrow. Again I'll jog the whole thing. I'll let you know about it if I live through it.

Jogging with Jesus

2008-06-29T08:52:00.002-04:00

Here's today's sermon. You have to read to the end to find out about my running experience this morning. :o)

Genesis 22:1-18 and Matthew 10:37-42

The Lord Will Provide (Sundaes on Wednesday)

I headed out of the church a couple of days ago, thinking about my sermon for today. As I pulled to the end of the drive, preparing to turn towards town, I noticed our marquee which had just been changed, and I began to laugh uncontrollable. I don’t know if any of you noticed it or not. (There’s a picture of it in your newsletter!) The marquee says, plain as day, “The Lord Will Provide Sundaes on Wednesday July 9.” I sent a picture of our sign to my clergy friends around the country. Within days, I had responses asking if the Lord would provide Sundaes for them as well, as the heat around the country is pretty astounding! One of my friends commented – “It’s like free cone day at Ben & Jerry’s only it’s the Lord!” I’ve even discussed our sign with one of the ICU nurses at Highlands Regional. It’s a great discussion starter.

In the readings for today, we discover the meaning of blind faith. Abraham hears God’s call to take Isaac and sacrifice him as an offering to God. And he set out to do exactly what God had asked him to do, not knowing why, not knowing that God would save his son at the last minute. In the Gospel according to Matthew, we discover the cost of following Jesus as we too are asked to enter into the covenant call of faith which often seems absolutely absurd. We are asked to love the Christ more than our own family members. In other words, we are to be willing to let go of that which is most important to us if we want to call ourselves followers of Christ. Matthew’s Gospel even goes so far as to say, “whoever does not take up the cross to follow me is not worthy of me.” Jesus spoke these words before his own crucifixion. He was being real with those who wished to follow him. Jesus was letting them know that to follow him was radical enough that they would, most likely, be killed.

Why are our churches as full as they are? Because we want to skip ahead to the place where the ram comes into view and the sacrifice is no longer necessary. We want the promise of eternal life. We want the ice cream sundae with the cherry on top, that’s why people gather. We want it to be known here and around the world that the Lord will provide!

(at this point, we’ll get interactive as I tell the story. Practice: (me) “Abraham thought,” (kids) “How wonderful!” (choir) “I have followed God!” (congregation) “Now I can receive my blessing!”)

Abraham started out living life in hopes of the ice cream sundae with the cherry on top too. In faith he walked through the desert, leaving behind family, and came to the place where the Lord provided for him. He thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing!” But Sarah, his wife, did not conceive the child that was promised him. So he set about helping God fulfill God’s promise by doing as Sarah instructed and sleeping with her servant, Hagar. Soon Hagar conceived and bore him a son, and he thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing (of descendents as many as the stars)!” But with Abraham’s new attachment to his son, Sarah and Hagar began to argue over who was the most important to Abraham, and for the safety of the child, God sent Hagar and her son to live elsewhere. And Abraham was childless yet again. But his faith must not have dissipated there because some messengers from God came to Abraham and told him that Sarah would conceive a son in her old age, and she did. And once again Abraham thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing!” But then Abraham heard God’s voice to take his son into the wilderness, to an altar 3 days away, and sacrifice him. He heard God’s voice telling him to kill his own son. And Abraham, who loved God and revered God more than his own son . . . Abraham, whose faith had brought him through hard time after hard time after hard time . . . Abraham left once again for the place God would lead him, and prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice, a sacrifice we today cringe to think about, a sacrifice we would easily see as insanity in our culture, a sacrifice that would make the news as a tragedy saved when Child & Family Services stepped in. Abraham began to make his altar. He placed his son upon the rock and took out his knife, instilling fear in his child . . . fear that no child should know. And then the Lord provided . . . the Lord provided a way out for both Abraham and Isaac. And Abraham, through tears of relief, thought, “How wonderful! I have followed God! Now I can receive my blessing.” And he did. But by that time, he realized and God realized that Abraham’s life was no longer about walking in faith to receive a blessing. Rather, he came to experience God’s provision at the moment as enough. Abraham, long before the days of Christ, experienced Grace. He received a gift that he knew was not due him. He acknowledged the reality that nothing mattered except God, and he followed, believing that God knew what was best. The blessing that Abraham sought was no longer important. The fact that God’s will would be done throughout eternity was all that mattered.

We hear Abraham’s story and we realize the extent of blind faith that is needed when we enter into this covenant between ourselves and God. When Jesus said, “37Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me,” he wasn’t speaking in some metaphorical, allegorical speech. He was speaking the truth, the reality, that a covenant with God is not to be taken lightly. There will be times when God demands of us more than we might be willing to give. If we are not willing to give it, we are not living the covenant life. I’ll repeat what I just said because it is at the heart of faith-living. If we are not willing to give God ANYTHING God asks for, we are not living the covenant life.

And, like Abraham, we are to follow God not because of some blessing WE will receive, but because the One who holds the universe is eternal. God is all that matters. We are only temporal (stuck in time). The covenant life demands that we live in recognition of the awesomeness of God and that it change our priorities so that God comes before the very people we love the most.

Jesus asked his followers for everything. And they left everything, they risked everything (as we pointed out last week), to follow him. His followers wondered why they should follow him because they had been taught to follow God. And Jesus reveals his identity to them. He tells them that if they are a true disciple, they will become their teacher. They will lose their very selves and begin living the life of their teacher. And Jesus admits that’s exactly what he did. God was his teacher and he is God. The lines between Jesus and God have been erased because Jesus became so immersed in God that no distinction could be made between the two of them. He teaches his disciples that they too can follow to the point where the lines become blurred. “Whoever welcomes you, welcomes me.” In other words, if you as my students, take in all that I am and the line between us exists no more because what I believe, you believe and who I am you are. This is a different model than our current culture portrays. We offer more of a cafeteria culture – take the part that you like from this teacher and the part that you like from this teacher and become a unique individual. But in Jesus’ culture, the disciples or the “learners” had only one teacher and took all that the one teacher espoused seriously until the lines between the two of them began to fade. Because of this, Jesus is able to say, “Whoever welcomes my disciples also welcomes me.” And then he continues, “And whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me” , and the one who sent Jesus is God. And if that wasn’t enough, Jesus continues by telling about the kinds of rewards followers receive. If you represent a prophet, you’ll get a prophet’s reward. If you represent a righteous person, you’ll get a righteous person’s reward. But, if you as a disciple of Christ who comes in the name of the Holy one, offer anyone ANYTHING, even a glass of water, you have bestowed upon them the greatest blessing ever. You have offered to them God. (Repeat: If you are a true disciple of Christ, you are also a disciple of God, so anything you offer to anyone in the name of Christ is a gift, a blessing, from God.) For you are no longer offering them some reward that is way out there, you have offered to them the knowledge that the blessing of the universe is simply that God is. And you, a follower of God, have shown them that very blessing because of your covenantal relationship with God through your teacher, Christ Jesus.

But the question remains, are we willing to sacrifice it all so that God can do what God needs to do with us? With others? Like Abraham, we frequently have to live a life of trial and error. We ask, “God, have I been faithful enough for my eternal reward?” and God reminds us that even a glass of water coming from one who is in a true covenantal relationship with God is the reward. There is no need for anything else. God’s presence with us here and now is sufficient.

If any of you have been awake at 6:45 AM for the last week and a half, you’ve seen the comedy of me learning to run. My teacher is my neighbor who, ironically, is a nursing home social worker. (I guess that’s how she has the patience to work with me!) We’ve been doing a combination of walk, jog, sprint, for the past week and this morning my teacher got me to jog the whole 1.3 miles with her, finishing with a sprint. After we were finished this morning, I asked her when on earth I was going to feel the euphoria, the runner’s peace, that athletes addicted to running typically experience. She laughed, knowing that my body was aching and patting me on the back nonetheless. Reflecting on my sermon for this morning, I found that what I wanted was the reward. I had told my teacher, “Sure, I’ll follow you!” “I’ll run every morning!” And in the back of my mind I was thinking, “I really want the reward – a long lean body, a feeling of euphoria to start the day, etc.” My motivation will not get me anywhere. Why: Because my teacher is not teaching me to get to the reward. Rather, she is teaching me to endure the stubborn aches and pains of my body as it pounds across the pavement. I run because my teacher asks me to. And I know that my teacher will push me beyond where I think I am capable of going, yet I will still continue to follow. And that should be enough of a reward for me. That IS the peace. Following Christ is the same way. If we are always looking ahead for the reward that awaits us – a gold crown in heaven, a hearty “thank you” from the person we helped, a pat on the back from our congregation, even eternal life, we’ve missed what our teacher, Jesus, is calling us to do and to be. The journey of running alongside Christ Jesus is reward enough. Though we know our teacher will ask us to go beyond what we ever thought possible, doing things like giving up everything to which we are attached, still we continue to follow. And if we are willing to sacrifice all other passions in our life for the experience of being taught by the Holy One, it will be enough. For even the glass of water we are able to offer our neighbor will be the holiest of moments.

Speed It Up!

2008-06-27T10:05:00.002-04:00

I jog/ran today, with a bit fewer walks. My neighbor came home yesterday and pushed me hard. It's 10 AM and I'm feeling pretty good still. But I can tell my calves are going to hurt. They were already talking to me. It feels good to get out there and blow off steam. Someone in the church died yesterday and I'll be doing the funeral tomorrow. With such a quick turn around time and two sermons to still write before Sunday, we'll just say my stress level is a bit on the higher side. But the running helps. I'm going to do it again tomorrow morning as I will definitely need it. It's so nice to have an outlet with a neutral/non-church member person. I'm really going to miss her. She spent our time (when she could breathe) talking about how some families rub off on others and her daughter, who spent most of the week with cousins, is now hitting and back talking and a bunch of other things Mom & Dad will now have to re-teach. It's amazing how one week can effect kids so much. I talked about how busy our summer's been. It seems as if there are "plans" every single day of the summer, and while the kids are enjoying focused time, I think it's important to have down time too. I've alternated the kids' camp schedules this year (they each get two weeks somewhere but never on the same week) so I can have some one on one time with each kid. That's been nice. But the driving back and forth to camps at the crack of dawn reminds me why I homeschool. I hate, no I mean HATE, the morning rush!

Enough for now. I must go prepare for a funeral . . . again.

Nada

2008-06-26T09:50:00.002-04:00

My exercise yesterday was helping my daughter clean her room. I actually sweated. But I haven't jogged/run/walked since Tuesday and I've missed it. My stress level has been high and I've been exhausted which just shows me I NEED to run, but my neighbor is STILL not home! I'd be worried except I've seen her dad checking on things a few times. It's hard to get started without an accountability partner who is going to be knocking on your door at 6:30 AM. In the meantime, I'll try to figure out how to deal with my stress on my own. The crazy part is that I don't know where my stress is coming from. I don't know why I keep getting tension headaches. Usually it means I'm thinking about something way back in my sub-conscious. Guess I'll try to listen and let it be . . .

Running Solo

2008-06-24T15:15:00.002-04:00

Well, my neighbor was supposed to get home last night, but she's still not home so I got up and ran alone today. I did our "normal" 1.3 mile route and pushed myself a bit harder since it was just me and I was feeling up to it. I added a second sprint and jogged a bit more than usual. I returned home alive and well. I have another headache coming on so I'm working on rehydrating. No blisters today (I had one after the last run) so I guess I got my shoes on the right feet this time (just kidding.) Now I'm just tired, but energized, if that makes any sense. Next hurdle, the dishes in the kitchen.

The Worship Marathon

2008-06-22T16:00:00.002-04:00

I didn't run this morning since my running partner is out of town, but I did lead worship which is usually a marathon in itself. It was my first Sunday back after vacation which usually means I hear about everything that went wrong while I was gone. But today was rather mild. I preached a really good sermon based on Matthew 10 which is not an easy text to preach from. It was also the first Sunday back for the three who had gone on a mission trip to the Gulf to rebuild after Hurricane Katrina and they were full of stories and that degree of gratitude that usually only comes when you realize God has used you to make a difference in someone's life. In addition to that, I was able to tell someone whose water had been turned off that the church was willing to pay the full amount needed to turn her water back on. I was really impressed because those helping didn't even know who she was, yet they were willing to help. All of this takes me back to my goal for the church, made at the beginning of the year. I wanted to help the church view itself as more than just a worshiping community, but also as a community blessed by God to change the world. And I see this happening. It is such an honor to guide these people, and to be refreshed in order to see the vision of where we are going together. Vacation helped give me some perspective on everything. Running is also helpful to me to clear out the stress. Tomorrow I won't be pounding the pavement again (my neighbor is still out) but I may go for a swim and I'll definitely stretch. I'm amazed that even the muscles in my belly and back are sore! I expected my feet muscles and leg muscles, but not my neck muscles and muscles that I didn't even know I had! I'm actually excited about going again!

Running, Day 2

2008-06-21T10:56:00.002-04:00

Yep, I did it again and still didn't mind it that much. Actually, today I didn't spring at all because I had a horrible migraine last night and ended up tossing my cookies (of which I ate none, thank you very much) and then tossing and turning until I could finally sleep around 2 AM. We're thinking I was dehydrated even though I assure you I drank water all day long. My muscles just are working continuously and yes, I am sore. New body, here I come. Healthy body, here I come. Tomorrow morning is my day off as I have to prepare for services and my neighbor is house hunting. I may do something on my own on Monday just to keep me working at this. In the meantime, I am extremely hungry and hit exhaustion by early afternoon. Thanks for cheering me on, my friends. This is all good.

Running, Day 1

2008-06-20T07:44:00.002-04:00

I did it! My neighbor met me at 6:30 AM this morning, both of us trying to beat the heat and get through with the run before the kids woke up. She made me stretch for a long time and I had muscles that obviously hadn't been used in quite some time asking me what the heck I was doing using them again. Then we power walked/jogged/and in the end sprinted before the cool down and the stretch again. I ended up being outside for a good hour, but only about half of that time was I cardio-ing. Right now I'm still feeling that sensation of peacefulness, but I can already feel a few muscles talking to me. I sure hope I'll be able to get up and do it again tomorrow. While I didn't "love" it, I didn't mind it all that much either. See, she taught me to breathe and to focus on my breathing, much like labor. I figured, "hey, I've been in hard labor for longer than a half hour, I can do this." And I did. It helps that I actually had some really good labor experiences in the past and that I birthed naturally. That experience (besides making me a mother) taught me that I can handle much more than I ever thought was possible. I guess running is the same way. It's like an empowering thing. I can ask, "How much more can I do?" And then I can surprise myself by actually accomplishing it. So I focused on short goals and on my breath. I tried to slow my breathing when it was getting harder (reminding myself of those amazing Buddhist monks who meditate so deeply that they actually slow their heart rate . . . if only my prayers were so intense!) When the mailbox one house away seemed too large a goal, I focused on the branch two steps ahead of me. And it sure did help to have a friend along with me. She was quite encouraging, but wouldn't let me quit either. So I'll be up at 6:30 AM tomorrow too. (she's giving me Sunday off as they are going house hunting -- I'm not looking forward to her moving!) Feeling good. K.T.

Failure! Failure! Failure!

2008-06-18T21:54:00.002-04:00

I didn't run today. I got up early enough, but long story short couldn't leave my daughter by herself which would have happened had I run. In fact, I didn't do anything right today. I ran around like a maniac on my first day back to work, grabbed fast food along the way (while my daughter reminded me how bad it was for me), ate some ice cream and even had some cake with my wine this evening. I'm not giving up despite my failing grade, however. My neighbor has told me we're running on Friday morning whether I like it or not. She's decided I'm not going to like her for at least 2 weeks (and the more she talks about it the more I believe her.) To get ready for Friday, she's told me to drink lots of water tomorrow and load up on carbs for dinner -- the multi-grain-type. I'm getting scared. What if I collapse? What if I lose my friend because I just can't run?! (this coming from the person who was always in last place during those "wonderful" Presidential fitness expeditions). Please, leave me with some encouraging words. I'm going to need it.

Here We Go Again

2008-06-17T21:29:00.004-04:00

I did not stay healthy over my vacation. But then again, I didn't over-indulge either. I enjoyed ice cream after a brief hike through the heat and mosquitoes on an island. (Aside: We visited an anthropological site on the FL coast that was home to Native Americans who lived there over 12000 years ago -- that's pre-dating Mesopotamian civilization, my friends! There was something extremely sacred about ancient civilization on American soil.) I swam some laps in the pool. But I also enjoyed a few meals that were extremely tasty and high in calories. All in all, I enjoyed myself. But alas, I must return to the world of health. And to do that, I purchased my running shoes. Following your recommendations, I found a sale on Saucony and purchased a pair of shoes that were quite comfortable. I also bought myself a running bra and some nice, light-weight running shorts/shirt. I'm just hoping to get down the road the first day I try this. Tomorrow I return to work and early rising and routine, but I am also going to try to run. Mornings are still nice here . . . not too hot . . . so we'll see. So water, water, here I come. I've got some pounds to shed in the next month and a half!

Two Days until Vacation (and Day 8 of Health)

2008-06-09T07:52:00.002-04:00

I'm drinking my coffee with soy milk right now. I'm going to cook a roast in the crock pot today but will also make a really nice raw squash and zucchini salad I found in a Cooking magazine. I'll try to take pictures because it truly is beautiful. I just hope my kids will eat it. But I have learned that my youngest daughter will eat broccoli slaw! Woo Hoo! We called it "veggie sticks" and she was chowing down (this is my no vegetable child). When she asked for some on day 2, I told her I'd tell her what it was and she's like "ok." When I told her she was eating broccoli, cabbage and carrots, she was like "hmm . . . well it's good!" So we're learning to eat our vegetables together.

Yesterday I attended a baby shower at the girls' gym (the coach is very pregnant) and I did not get my own piece of cake. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but I did it and it was difficult. I allowed myself a couple bites from my daughter's plate, but that was all. I watched as only 1 or 2 of the other moms took cake so I tried to let the peer pressure of NOT eating cake get to me. It helped. I drank water at coffee hour at church instead of punch but I did drink punch at the shower (made with sherbert). Considering the challenges of the day, I think I made some pretty good choices. I found myself really in my stress-eating mode so I grabbed a spoonful of peanutbutter with some soy milk and it was enough to placate my munchies. I now know that I eat when I have nervous energy. I suppose I could use that energy to scrub the bathroom or do the dishes or mop the floor. I definitely need to rechannel that. And I also know I get that stress-eating thing when I'm tired. (I've noticed the same thing with my kids -- when they're tired they are hungry. It's like we all want some sort of stimulus to keep us running on empty.) And I was tired yesterday. I got to see my husband over the weekend, but that meant traveling which, even at under 2 hours totally saps my energy.

I got a great workout on Friday and Saturday, however, in the pool. My mom got dumbells for the water and let me tell you doing laps with dumbells is a cardiovascular experience! I loved it! I also did "water push ups" with the dumbells (or are they barbells?) and it was awesome. Swimming is definitely my favorite sport, but I hate always relying on someone else's pool to get me going. It's also hard to find good-sized pools here. Everyone has these dinky things in their backyards. I want to swim LAPS, not do jumps!

Well, I leave for vacation tomorrow evening. I'll finally get to see my newborn nephew who is now 4 months old, though he was a preemie so he should be about the size of a 6 week old. Then my family is going to the beach -- to see the dolphins, and to take in Thomas Edison's summer house. We're saving Disney for next year, when we have more than "$0" saved.

So that's the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the whir of the lawn mowers wake you up before the sun's up (because it's too hot to mow during the sunlight hours), the pool is closed for the summer (?!), and the kids are out of school with "nothing" to do.

A Healthier Me: Day 6

2008-06-07T10:29:00.002-04:00

I'm still doing well. I did cheat with some m&m's, but again I'm still doing much better than usual. I'm keeping portions smaller when the food's not super healthy (like last night was my go-out-to-dinner-with-my-family night and I ordered the early bird special of ribs instead of a whole big rack of them babies! I also ate a few fries, but didn't have to finish everything in my basket). This morning I made a fritatta/omelet with egg beaters/eggs mixed with black beans, sundried tomatoes, onions and some leftover chicken. It was quite nice. I'm still limiting my dairy intake to milk in my coffee when I'm out and I use soy milk at home. So I stood on the scale this morning and it says I'm down 3 pounds. We'll see if it stays that way. But I have been exercising every other day. 2 days ago I went swimming and I'll do it again today and over vacation when we head out of town next Tuesday. When I return from vacation my neighbor wants to teach me how to run. She's just had a baby so she wants to get nice and trim but she's already much more fit than I am. My 30 minutes of running may not get me to the end of the block. We'll see. She insists she can teach me to like it so I'll give it a shot. It'll be nice to have an exercise partner who is not under the age of 10. First things first, however, I must buy some running shoes. Any suggestions? In the meantime I'll keep drinking lots of water and thinking positive.

Day One: Still Ticking

2008-06-03T20:58:00.002-04:00

I spent my first day of "eating right" on the road. Truly, not a good combination. But I did pretty well. Yesterday I left for Orlando and didn't get ANY snacks on the road. I was really proud of myself. I arrived at my friend's house . . . she wasn't there so I needed to go get myself some dinner. I went to the grocery store (!) and bought some chicken (not fried) and vegetables. I drank water with dinner. This morning my friend served egg beaters, a slice of whole wheat bread and some fresh fruit. I was grateful. I drank my coffee with SOY milk. For lunch, I was at the mercies of the host church for our presbytery meeting. They served 4 different kinds of salads and yes, I ate them all . . . even the "not so good" ones. There was a green salad, a shrimp salad that was to die for, a jello salad, and a pasta salad. I drank water with the lunch. And then I made the mistake of eating the dessert that was set at my place -- a nice chocolate pudding pie piece (not too big . . . but definitely not good for me). Within a few minutes I was feeling sloshy and tired and I knew it was the sugar. SO, we were still on break so I walked the block around the church and it felt good -- it wasn't a half hour of exercise but it was something AND I was out of my own town. I had a three hour drive home and didn't stop for ANY snacks again. I drank water in the car. And then arrived home where my babysitter had cooked up spaghetti with homemade sauce. I didn't overeat that either and again I drank water. Considering all of the challenges of the day, I think I handled things well. So tomorrow I'll try in my own setting. Thanks for cheering me on!

Needed: Weight Loss Cheerleaders

2008-06-02T13:19:00.003-04:00

So I've decided it's time to stop waiting for myself to be stress free before starting to eat healthy and exercise and lose some weight. The scales put me at the heaviest I've ever been and my "fat clothes" are getting tight. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by the time I see my clergy friends in August. That's do-able. I may be able to shed more than that, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.

How am I going to do this? 1) I am going to begin by eating at least 3 servings of vegetables a day (this is something I avoid at all costs . . . stems from childhood where I was required to eat vegetables with every meal and I abhorred them. I now enjoy fresh vegetables but rarely cook them for myself. I'd like to change that.) I also enjoy eating fresh vegetables because it reminds me of what God has created for my health -- not something out of a box but something that began, like me, as a seed. In the fall we are going to plant some of our own vegetables, but given FL's climate we have to wait until fall to plant and spring to harvest. The veggies will also be my main course instead of the side dish that always gets pushed to the side.

2) I'm going to drink only water and tea throughout the day -- no diet drinks, no juice or sodas, not even any milk (which I love, but the sugars in there wear me down quickly). I will allow myself one cup of coffee in the morning with skim milk, but that's it.

3) I am going to exercise for 30 minutes 3 times/week. I haven't figured this part out. My daughter's friend got the Wii Fit and it's really fun and it did raise my heartrate so I might hang out there until I can afford one myself. Eventually I'd like to join the gym again, but until I can prove to myself that I will spend 3 months exercising 3 times/week, I won't make that commitment. I would walk, but it's too hot in FL to walk everyday. I may use my neighbor's pool once it warms up a bit more. This is what I'm thinking about.

4) No fast food. This is where I turn when I'm in a hurry and stressed. Beef and Cheddars are my favorite.

5) I will allow myself to eat out ONE TIME during each week with my family and I will enjoy myself, but I will not eat everything on my plate. Also, the veggies rule will still apply.

6) Snacks? this is where I'll need to turn to "sweet" veggies like carrots and bell peppers or tomatoes and celery. Oh, and peanut butter is allowed.

7) I've gotta lay off bread and carbs for awhile, until I can rebalance my body's cravings, etc. Even whole grains are off the list for awhile (sorry, food pyramid, my body can't handle all of those yummy delights)

8) Lean meats and no casseroles.

9) Putting forth a goal of feeling better long term instead of shedding pounds temporarily. I'm trying to adjust my lifestyle here.

It all sounds really rigorous but until I can cross that hump of eating because I'm stressed and allowing myself "treats" for whatever I rationalize in my head it's going to have to be this way. During my trip in August I'll see how far I have or haven't come. In the meantime, I need lots of cheerleaders. Health is my goal. Wellness is my goal. I'll be able to handle the stress of everything else a lot better when I'm caring for myself this way.

An Interesting Turn of Events

2008-05-20T21:42:00.002-04:00

Sunday afternoon I stopped by to return a book to a friend who was moving and casually took a tour through her house. She offered me an incredible deal on the place. I mean, really incredible. So I'm considering -- and not just "I" but the "we" that includes "I". It would mean a little bit of a commute and more gas. And it would mean making a commitment to stay put at least until my hubby gets out of school. But we would be investing . . . and starting out "ahead."

So I called up the bank I have the best relationship with and began to ask questions about finances, etc. My financial advisor turned out to be a pastor working a second job. And he seemed to know things. Like, he asked if I was a PCA or PCUSA pastor. Most people don't know to ask that. And he knew financial things too. Within the hour I had been advised against purchasing a house unless I truly could afford it and I knew what that meant because he walked me through it. I also had a savings plan for immediate and long term needs and discovered I'd almost reached the beginning savings goal (that's a first!) He helped me set up longer term savings goals in a money market fund and evaluated me for term life insurance to insure that my family would be provided for if I lost my life. I'd say I was "taken" except that I had been "meaning" to do all of these things for a long time and he took an hour of my day by phone and not only walked me through why they were important but also helped me set them up . . . affordably and in my budget.

So will we buy a house a settle down a few years? I don't know. She'd sell me the house that low if it was a quick sale so I'll know in the next 2 weeks if my life is going to turn upside down or not. After that it will go on the market almost $50K more than she's quoting me. I know the real estate agent she spoke with. We'll think through it all as clearly as we can and we'll also pay attention to the other stirrings that are going on beneath it all -- missing each other, wondering if it's time for me to consider other options for work, etc. It's all a "weighing options" game.

So that's the news from Arbuckle Creek, where gas is $3.78, children commute across county lines to orthodontist appointments, and raccoons, deer, otters, fox, and other wildlife are still a part of the natural landscape.

The Four Seasons (all at once)

2008-05-16T08:34:00.002-04:00

Florida is weird. But most of you already knew that. All of the trees are nice and green year round. Fall usually comes between January and mid-January when the few trees that will lose their leaves actually do lose their leaves. But I noticed this week that all of the seasons have collided this week. A cold front came through on Tuesday morning (meaning 60 degrees) causing us all to shiver. Several of the leaves on my green tree out back are yellow and falling off the tree. Meanwhile, you can smell the blossoms of many varieties in the air and by noon it's over 90 degrees already. Tell me, how did we get lucky enough to experience 4 seasons in one day? Granted, there was no snow . . .

Beyond the Sniffles

2008-05-14T18:50:00.002-04:00

So what I started out with on Sunday was nothing like it's turned into. Monday and Tuesday I could barely get out of bed. My posts were one of the few things I did all day. My mother came over to help out around the house so I could sleep. By body ached and burned and pounded and ran and dribbled. Today I finally had enough energy to get up, but within minutes of being up I started sweating profusely. It totally drained me to get up! So I stayed home yet another day. It's my 3rd day of antibiotics and I can tell they are working because I'm beginning to feel more like me, except that every hour I'm running to the bathroom with a nasty belly emptying. I recently watched Pollyanna with my kids and I was reminded to play the game where you look for the good in every situation. Laying down with a cloth over my eyes while my body dragged, I began to play. I am thankful that my kids aren't sick. I am thankful that my mother is here cleaning up my house! I am thankful that I have a doctor who was willing to prescribe me medicine. I am thankful that I can afford the medicine. I am thankful that I have people in my own community who told me that they'd help out if I'd ask them. And before long I wasn't well, but I did stop feeling sorry for myself. And I guess that's what it's all about. So right now, I am thankful that a church member is running to my office to get me some much-needed stomach medicine for me. I am thankful that I've been married 13 years to a wonderful man as of today. I'm thankful that my dog is here with me even though my mom and the kids have gone and my husband is in school all day.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where Pollyanna still lives within a 13 year married lady; where church members look out for their pastors, and where the turtles are sunning themselves on the banks of the canal where no gator has been seen in months!

Cottage Industry is still Forming curds

2008-05-13T16:48:00.002-04:00

OK, the guy I was talking with on ebay didn't commit. He's still interested, but it's a lot of money up front and so I've offered ways I'd be willing to work with him, but it's his choice now.

So I don't have a cottage industry now. But it could become one. And seeing potential is very exciting for me. I'm also excited that I saw that I would gladly share the work and the profit with others trying to raise money for their children. That tells me that it's not about the money as much as meeting a need for me and my community. I also really liked that the person was going to use it to raise money for their group.

So right now my cottage (cheese) industry is still in the curd forming mode, but I'll just assume that that will make a healthier product. ;o)

I HAVE A COTTAGE INDUSTRY!

2008-05-11T20:34:00.002-04:00

I've been making hairbows for the last 2 years. I've sold a few on e-bay and a bunch doing fundraising for the girls gym. Then I began making cheerleading bows for the girls' teams and have been getting better each year. This year will be my third year and the coach liked the bows so much she wants the same pattern for next year. That's fine with me. I'll just get to work. But get this, I listed my cheer bows on e-bay and I just got a request for 100-150 custom bows! OMG! I'm so psyched! I think what is even greater is that there's no way I can do all of the work myself with everything else I do so I'll get the opportunity to share the wealth with others trying to raise money for THEIR kids! And the guy who is interested in buying them is going to be using it for a fundraiser for HIS gym. I'm be helping even MORE people! Granted, I'll be sick to death of whatever colors are chosen, but my fundraising will be over and and then any others I sell will be cake (!)

I'b sick (sniffle)

2008-05-11T15:08:00.002-04:00

I've got a horrible cold that I started getting last night and today I seem to be running a low grade fever. I made it through the service fine but I'm incredibly draggy right now. I don't want to take Tylenol 'cause it makes me sick. But I have a headache and body aches. Oh yuk. It takes too much energy to put myself to bed.

Does Anybody Read This?

2008-05-07T10:54:00.003-04:00

I'm just wondering if anyone reads my blog or if it is for my own entertainment and amusement? (comments, please.)

Today I am rocking in my office at my desk and accomplishing nothing that my organizational management has been teaching me. Sometimes you're the window, sometimes your the bug. Sometimes it all comes together. (but today it just hasn't)

No, seriously I've been researching a second job selling things on ebay. But I have some ethical questions. I began by finding a dropshipping distributor and found one that was recommended by the Better Business Bureau and had few complaints. Then I researched their products and found that everyone on ebay was selling the same things and, to tell you the truth, it's "stuff" nobody needs. So I began wondering what I could sell and feel good about ethically. I can't feel good about perpetuating capitalism for the sake of accumulating more poor quality "stuff" (even though it's true I've bought some of what this wholesaler was selling.) But I do want to sell items that can be useful. So now I'm researching green vendors/wholesalers and will probably continue to sell my homemade bows (because I enjoy making them so I know the quality). The problem is, it's not as easy to find dropshippers who are green because then I began thinking about how much fuel was being expended in the shipping of items. You see, it's not so easy to be an ethical saleswoman.

And to be perfectly honest, what I'd love to sell would be things like organic milk at an affordable price or handmade clothing or an hour of babysitting (where would I find that?) because that's what people REALLY need! So if you have any wonderful, ethical, people-friendly product that I could sell on ebay for you and profit for my family, might you pass that along to me?

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek where the vegetables are local and in season, peaches are "almost" in season, and the gators have begun mating (but hopefully not in my backyard!)

Getting Organized and Helping Conservatives and Liberals to Talk

2008-05-03T17:33:00.002-04:00

So it's a long title -- but in truth it's a summary of what I'm reading right now. First, I realized that if I'm ever going to get organized I needed to learn about organizational management without getting bogged down by one specific methodology and spending hundreds of dollars on the process which I may or may not follow through with. The book I chose to read is David Allen's Getting Things Done. Nice short title that is definitely to the point. I purchased the CD set so I could listen to him in the car (everything I had read had stated how exciting he was in person so I was looking forward to hearing this motivational speaker read his own book. No such luck, he's simply reading it and the enthusiasm is minute at best.) But the process is really helpful to me. Everything that keeps you up at night because it's not done, write it down somewhere that you know you will be able to find it and where you specifically accomplish it on that day. For the past week I've been waking up before the sun because things keep popping in my head that I know need to be done but, for one reason or another, haven't gotten done. So I wake up in the night and get it done and drag myself through the sunlight hours of the next day. Today I wrote it all down, step by step, and it feels really good to know what I can accomplish quickly and what I need more time with -- not to mention setting aside time to do that so that while I'm working on something else I can REALLY work on something else! So it's helping, even though listening to it is boring. I'd probably do better with a highlighter so I could reference it later, but still, that's putting it off. This way I can ONLY "read" it in the car.

The second book I've just finished is The Abstinence Teacher. I checked it out from the library and it was really good! It's the story of a sex ed teacher who is forced to teach abstinence against her will by an evangelical Christian church that in many ways is over the top. But I found myself getting irritated by this woman when she gets mad about a team praying together. I too respect people of other religions and don't see the need to demand that everyone pray a Christian prayer, but I also believe in encouraging people to pray as they believe and not to silence any prayer. It's doing no one any harm to give thanks. But then I began to get irritated by the Christians who started holding onto a Christian prayer like it was the only evangelical moment in the world. Doesn't the Bible say to go into your closet and pray not for self-glorification but rather giving glory to God? And where is the fine line between these many prayers? The dialogue between the two extreme beliefs showed me that personally I would really like it if we agreed to disagree and to respect each other. I'm a Christian who professes faith in God through the Christian faith, but I'm also a believer that God calls people to God's self in ways we may never understand and that we can't hold the authority of God in our simple minds. God's way is far beyond our own.

Anyway, that's my recommended reading for the day.

Quote of the Day

2008-05-03T08:24:00.001-04:00

My oldest daughter (NOT a morning person) was up quite early for her this morning. I asked her what got her out of bed. She turned to me with the most despicable look on her face and grumbled, "The birds were singing right outside my window!"

The nerve of those little fellas!

Relay for Life and Other Fundraisers

2008-04-26T13:13:00.002-04:00

Today our little town comes together on the High School Football field for Relay-For-Life, a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Before moving here, I wasn't that familiar with the national fundraiser, but now a carnival breaks forth every spring to remember people who lost their lives to cancer and celebrate the lives of those who survived the horrid disease. I lost two grandparents to cancer so I remember them. And I know the probabilities that I will one day have a face off with the dreaded disease are also high, given the current state of environmental pollutants which we assume are harmless. The girls' cheerleading team is performing for this event and the big church in town is going to have things for kids to play on. They'll light the luminaries tonight and everyone will remember someone. I think of my friend who just lost his brother to cancer and of a church member who just had her cancer removed for a second time. I remember the breast cancer survivors who celebrate their cancer-free bodies every year after they get a good update from the doctor. I celebrate my pastor friend who is retiring after fighting and surviving cancer, but who was told by her doctor that she will never be cancer free due to the hormonal nature of her particular cancer. And I hope the funds will be enough to pay all of the researchers well enough and that their research will in fact find a cure.

And more on fundraising . . . lately I've really started thinking a lot about fundraising. I know part of this is because I just got the figures that need to be raised to pay for next year's cheerleading, but also I want to help other people with their funds. I have a creative bent and with that comes a desire to raise money with what I create. But I also know that not everyone has the same kind of gift that i do and so I wonder how I can help others with their fundraising. I've talked with the coach about heading up a summer of fundraisers that can be fun for the kids and beneficial to adults and I think she's got a few other adults who are willing to share responsibility with me. I know that God has provided and continues to provide for my needs and while cheerleading doesn't sound like anyone's "need" it has provided friendships for my kids as well as health and wellness and a sense of pride. Self-esteem has grown along with learning what it means to be a part of the community. One of the fundraisers I'd like to see would be a "Serve-A-Thon" which works like other "a-thon's" except that people pledge a quarter or a dollar for every hour the kids serve their community. I'm wanting to urge the kids to serve their community for up to 20 hours over the summer and hopefully we can get a bunch of people to participate in the fundraiser while the kids also learn what it means to be part of something bigger than their own thing. If you have any fundraiser ideas that don't involve door to door selling of pizzas, cookie dough, magazines, or anything else in a really "fun" catalog, let me know.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the community comes together to find a cure for cancer, where the cheerleading team is more about self-esteem than a popularity image, and where the kids are looking forward to FUNdraising over the summer.

Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?

2008-04-20T05:40:00.002-04:00

Last night around 10PM the doorbell rang. It was a highway patrol man looking for anyone who knew anything about one of our neighbors. We couldn't help. The man next door never spoke to anyone. He waved if he was out picking up his trashcans the same time we were, but he never tried to connect. The state trooper stated he was searching for anyone who might know this man's next-of-kin because the man was in a motorcycle accident. The cop couldn't tell us if the man was alive or dead, but we assume that he must have been killed or at least listed in serious condition or the trooper wouldn't be looking for a friend or relative. But what got me was that none of us knew him. He had been to the neighbors on the other side before us and was going to the next neighbors after us and I can tell you all about any of them, but I didn't know the man next door. I knew that he was immaculate. We had made up stories about his life by the glistening of his interior garage. Within was a tribute to car racing -- the racing suit mounted spectacularly, the framed photographs of cars on the walls, black and white squares lined the floor and as when he drove into the garage, he drove in a really nice sports car with a loud engine and he covered it before he put the garage door down and disappeared into obscurity. Once we caught a peep into his house as we drove by and it too was impeccable. But the man lived alone. And so this blog is a tribute to him -- the man with a "rock garden" so he wouldn't have to worry with growing things, the man who was at one time probably a very up and coming race car driver, the man who disappeared at night and spoke only with the contractors who were upgrading his garage or tiling his driveway. Wherever you are, I pray peace and love follow you.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the neighbors are neighborly, but only if you want them to be; where the children are not nearly as obnoxious as their senior counterparts, and where the gators will soon be entering mating season.

Delight

2008-04-13T20:00:00.003-04:00

This is one of those weekends when I feel so lucky to live in Florida. Friday I drove to the beach -- Daytona Beach actually. I sat up in the hotel room while my friend took the kids down to the pool and I handwrote my sermon to the beautiful sound of the Atlantic Ocean right outside my window. The next morning I woke up early to take my kids to their cheerleading competition just down the street. Teams had come from other states to compete on the beach but I just drove three hours for the luxury. The kids had fun, though it wasn't their best. They placed 7th out of 10 but they took it better than I did, reminding me that it's only cheerleading, not a life or death situation. Besides, they wanted to finish so they could go to the beach! My youngest and I spent about an hour out there on the surf and she giggled every time a wave came. I had forgotten what sheer delight comes from just enjoying a day at the beach. My oldest waded in a bit deeper and jumped waves with her friend for hours, washing off the sunscreen and turning a nice shade of pink. My oldest spent another night with her friend and mom, but my youngest and I traveled back home, this time up the coast, stopping for an exciting meal at IHOP (she couldn't imagine a better restaurant!) When we finally got home, my friend had cleaned my house and it smelled so good and clean. I took some time to bake a birthday cake for my youngest's birthday party. The party was today. So after church, we set up a fun water party in the backyard -- a slip n slide, water balloons, and other basic fun games. But it was cooler today. By the time the kids came, they'd slip and slide, throw some water balloons, then bundle up to get warm and get back at it. It was awesome -- 10 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 laughing and playing togther and sharing and singing and creating and just being kids. Despite the mess (which wasn't too bad except for the water balloons all over my backyard), I couldn't help but just enjoy the fact that they were filled with delight this weekend -- all of them -- and it filled me with the same emotion. Sometimes it's good to take lessons from kids. (Aside: I got all Martha Stewart today too -- I made sugar cookies in the shape of fish from scratch and then decorated them with homemade icing. They turned out beautiful. That was the take home gift and they were all so impressed!)

So that's the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the sun shines bright while the kids squeal with delight, where the kids have no idea what rush hour is, and where the gators avoid the backyard parties when there are too many kids.

Hearing God's Voice

2008-04-10T09:50:00.002-04:00

I read a short story this week about a pastor who literally heard the voice of God. What was said were simple words like "Son" but each word inhabited his every cell in such a way that he was beyond normal experience. But he struggled with whether or not he could share with his congregation that he had heard God's voice. He was afraid of losing his job and of being considered crazy. His wife believed him, but understood his dilemma. After all, not many mainline pastors admit to having heard the voice of God. When he finally told his congregation, many supported him while others suggested counseling was in order. I was truly amazed by this story. It brought up issues I'd not considered. When we hear the voice of God, who do we tell? I'm called into ministry and distinctly remember hearing the voice of God as a 16 year old, but I heard it in my spirit, not audibly. Still, I wanted to tell no one. It was holy. It was special. And I wondered if I were making things up. To this day, I still believe I heard the voice of God. But why is it that even those who seek God question those who hear God? Sure, there are crazies out there -- David Karesh would be one that comes to mine -- but what about those who authentically hear God and want no harm to come to anyone. Then what? I'd love your responses.

My Sermon Rough Draft

2008-04-06T08:21:00.001-04:00

It's still rough draft as of 8:22 AM Sunday morning. I preach rough drafts a lot, praying that God will change what needs to be changed. But I like where this one is going. Peace.

Acts 2:14a, 36-41
14But Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed them, . . . 36Therefore let the entire house of Israel know with certainty that God has made him both Lord and Messiah, this Jesus whom you crucified.”
37Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?” 38Peter said to them, “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39For the promise is for you, for your children, and for all who are far away, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to him.” 40And he testified with many other arguments and exhorted them, saying, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” 41So those who welcomed his message were baptized, and that day about three thousand persons were added.

The Promise is for You

What is the message we must hear that will save our lives?

We live in a world of words clamoring for our attention. Pick me! Eat me! Buy me! We have a hard time sleeping without background noise and so the TV drowns out our dreams. We drive from here to there with the radio turned up singing words, words, and more words. And always we’re listening to the words, hoping that one or more of them will cut to our hearts and send them pounding with a depth of spiritual clarity and human understanding, hoping that one or more of them will save our lives.

I just spent a week without words. – well, not exactly. But with Bill and the kids gone this past week, we’ll just say that things were much quieter than usual. In my spirit, I heard the voice of God calling me everyday to receive the silence as a gift, but I kept filling it up with words. I hopped on the bike on Monday and immediately put music in my ear to keep me from hearing the sound of my own heart pounding. On Tuesday I drove into town with the music, (albeit MY music) turned way up. On Wednesday when the house got too quiet I began reading a novel full of words, words, and more words. On Thursday I went to another church to talk with the pastor about how I felt myself resisting the quiet I desperately needed. And so, finally on Friday morning I sat down and received the silence and the peace of Christ and it was beautiful. I hopped on my bike again that day, leaving the music in the house and wouldn’t you know it I heard the glorious music of the birds. I continued reading my book, but I did so outside, where the sun was shining and the energy of life whirred and buzzed around me. And the unscripted silence saved my life this week, for therein I discovered myself as one of many beautiful and loved creations of God and it was a message I needed to hear. It was a message that saved my life this week.

In today’s scripture reading, Peter speaks the words that will define Christianity for centuries to come. He speaks, “36Therefore let the entire house of Israel know with certainty that God has made him both Lord and Messiah, this Jesus whom you crucified.” These are not Peter’s words, but the words of the Holy Spirit, for they are spoken on the day of Pentecost, when the Spirit of God drops down upon the believers and they can’t help but share what they believe is truth. Peter speaks to the house of Israel, to those who like Jesus were Jewish, and he proclaims that God made Jesus Lord and Messiah. He speaks from the context of his own life, sharing the messianic texts from the Hebrew scriptures with which he was raised, but his words were simple. God has made Jesus Lord and Messiah – teacher and savior. Do those words alone move you to belief? When they were first spoken, the hearers were “cut to the heart” and asked Peter what to do. And Peter told them to repent and be baptized. And they were.

But these words do not always cut us to the heart anymore. After all, these are the words we were taught as children, as youth, as young adults, and middle aged adults, as senior adults. They are all too familiar and as such have become rote. And so I repeat: what is the message we must hear that will save our lives? That will cut us to the heart? That will end our excuses and stop us from filling up our lives with words and sounds and consumer goods? What is the message we are dying to hear that will save our lives?

A woman tells of a deep depression after her mother has died. She moves through her days hollow and dark and she secretly stores up the leftover pain pills from her mother’s house. Friends know she is not herself, but don’t attempt to rescue her from her own grief . . . after all, what can they do? What can they say?. At 3 AM, not able to sleep, not able to handle the pain of life anymore, she counts out enough pills to guarantee she will never again wake up when someone knocks on her door. The woman she had only met briefly that afternoon recognized the signs of suicide and sought her out for a middle-of-the-night ride, stopping death in its tracks. The message this suicidal woman needed to hear did not contain words at all, but simply the caring presence of another human being. For after that, the pills were confiscated and the woman, little by little, was made whole.

What is the message that will save our lives?

The words they needed to hear in their spirits on the day of Pentecost were the very words put forth by Peter, by the Holy Spirit, “God has made Jesus Lord and Messiah! Teacher and savior!”“Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39For the promise is for you, for your children, and for all who are far away, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to him.” 40And he testified with many other arguments and exhorted them, saying, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” 41So those who welcomed his message were baptized, and that day about three thousand persons were added.

Of course there were those who did not believe, who were not cut to the heart, but three thousand persons were cut to the heart. For three thousand people, the message that their lives would never be the same again if they repented and were baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, if they received the Holy Spirit who remained to comfort them and walk with them on life’s journey – this message and in turn their belief saved their lives! And, Peter proclaimed, the promise is for you, for your children, and for all who are far away, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to him. This promise is for you. It’s not the promise of heaven – some out-there promise, but rather the promise of peace right now, a reminder that the Spirit of God is still with you, still speaking to you, in words deeper than the drone of the TV. The Spirit of God speaks to you in a way that cuts to the heart and changes your very soul. It is a promise for you and for everyone the Lord our God calls to him.

What is the message we must hear that will save our lives?
“As a young man, Mahatma Gandhi studied in London. After. learning about Christianity, and after reading the Sermon on the Mount, he decided that Christianity was the most complete religion in the world. It was only later, when he lived with a Christian family in East India, that he changed his mind. In that household he discovered that the word rarely became flesh -- that the teaching of Jesus rarely became the reality of Jesus.”[1] If we have been cut to the heart, then we must silence our words and begin allowing the Word to live through us. We must put hurt feelings aside and forgive. We must acknowledge our needs and ask our brothers and sisters in Christ for help. We must essentially make ourselves vulnerable so that others can live. The message that Mahatma Gandhi needed to hear was not verbal but action. He needed only to see the word made flesh, but he didn’t.
The message that our world needs to hear that will save so many lives is not always verbal. In a world that continues to scream, “Pick me! Eat me! Buy me!” we realize that what cuts to our heart is the Holy Spirit, living and acting and silencing the screams of the outside world. Sometimes our world needs to see the message that will save its lives.

We come to the table of Christ today, wanting to be filled with the Holy Spirit who continues to live and dwell with us. The bread and wine are reminders that God has made Jesus Lord and Messiah, teacher and savior. So repent and be baptized, every one of you, for the forgiveness of sins, and be made whole. This promise is for you and for your children, and for your children’s children, and for those who will come far into the future. Let us receive this message and may it cut to our hearts, may it save our lives. Amen.
[1] From Susan R.Andrews sermon, “Holy Heartburn” in The Christian Century, April 7, 1999, p. 385.

Here Comes the Sun

2008-04-05T18:37:00.002-04:00

Part of my relaxation yesterday and today has been a half hour of reading outside. there's something so absolutely relaxing about being outside. So while I have a bit of pink skin today, I am thankful to have been able to enjoy what God created rather than what we humans put over our own heads. Somehow, I think we humans were never intended to hide from the creation that surrounds us. We need it as much as it needs us. Just a thought for today.

Caring for Myself

2008-04-04T09:40:00.002-04:00

This has been a week to concentrate on what I desire and to fill myself up. It has worked. On Monday I met with the executive of the Boys & Girls Clubs in this region and I realized a desire I had to make a difference beyond the local church. Without over-doing it, though, we spent time talking about partnering in God's service and it was quite life-giving to image God's people beyond the local church. For a long time I've been wondering how we can share God's love to the community and this might be a way that we can -- even with our age. I'm asking if God wants us to share our facility with the community, run by community liaisons. And I'm seeing that when church members want to help out, they can read to a child or play a game or just be a stable presence to an at-risk child. What a huge ministry opportunity! So the week began with possibility. It also began with a reminder that what I do is important. I was treated as an executive myself, which was a wonderful feeling. I was treated as if I knew what was needed and as if I played a vital role in the community. I needed that affirmation.

Tuesday I met a friend for breakfast and we both talked about how much we enjoy work and family. -- how when one part was missing, we felt a bit off-center. She's not working this week because of spring break and so her daughter was wrapped around her with tons of love. They had spent a day at the beach and then were heading to the coast again to go to the zoo. Family time is wonderful. I, of course, have the opposite experience -- working this week but without family and I've been a bit off-center, but it's been refreshing, hearing the struggles of the kids on the phone makes me just want to scoop them up again and hug them tight. And spending a little extra time at work has helped me see clearer what needs to happen here.

Wednesday I met a friend for lunch and we spent a couple of hours talking about what God is calling us to be. I suppose that's an oversimplification since it took two hours, but I began to see and spell out my fears -- always of failure -- and made some adjustments to see myself differently and to again allow my needs to be cared for. I enjoyed switching roles for a few moments with my friend and encouraging him to look at his life and to see what God might be saying to him. To be with each other in a common question was extremely life-giving to me. That evening another friend asked me how she could help in what had been a difficult day and within a few hours, she had filled in the gap by giving generously of herself and pastoring me.

Thursday I drove over to visit a local pastor friend and was blessed by his presence as he guided me through the process of letting go of many of the ego-centric voices that clamor to distract me from what's really real. He also helped me see that my worth is invaluable and I should not judge my worth from a paycheck. Then last night I watched 2 movies -- Death at a Funeral, a British comedy that had me rolling, and The Women, a movie from 1939 that spoke volumes about the kinds of relationships women have and create for themselves. Both were just fun, and the types of movies I wouldn't have watched with kids in the house.

This morning I got myself back on my daughter's bicycle (it's nicer than mine) and whereas I made it halfway up the street on Monday, I made it all the way up and back today. Sure, it wasn't far -- a block -- but I did it. Next time I'll go a bit further. The thing was, my seat didn't hurt as badly today. And further, the day is so absolutely beautiful I just soaked it all in on this physical push.

I've got normal stuff to do today -- cleaning, making bows, writing a sermon, watching another movie, sitting in silence, etc. -- but I'm caring for myself and it's an absolutely wonderful, renewing experience. I think I now can be a better mother and wife and teacher and pastor and anything else I choose to be.

And this is the news from Arbuckle Creek, where the frogs have stayed to themselves lately, the mosquito spray truck comes by to unpollute the air of critters every night at 8 (they swear it's not harmful to breathe . . . we'll see) and the Presbyterian pastor is exceedingly blessed (aren't those good religious words?!)

Believing that God Can Do Anything

2008-04-02T16:03:00.002-04:00

I preached a few weeks ago about the fact that if we believe that God lives in us, this same God who raised Jesus from the dead, then we have to believe that there is a storehouse of possibility living within us, bringing the dead that have become our constant companions back to life. But I think, deep down, I'm still working on that issue. I don't quite know what to believe for myself. I don't know how to ask to be raised to new life. When the vomit of life sticks to me, trying to infect my insides, I forget to ask to be healed. I assume that someone else needs to be healed first. I deny myself the healing because I don't ask. Yet Jesus would turn to the paralyzed man and ask him, Do you want to be healed? To the blind man he would ask, Do you want to see? To the demon possessed man's parents he would ask, Do you want your son to be whole? And they wouldn't assume Jesus wanted to heal someone else first! They would quickly shout out YES! And so I believe it is possible for the dark cloud that has been following me around to disappear. I believe it's possible for the life of God to conquer the failures that surround me. I believe God is able to provide for me enough (money, time, love, health, will power, creativity, etc.) to care for my family, peace for my husband so he can finish school, growing my daughters into young ladies who believe and live their faith. I believe God can do these things, because I believe in resurrection and . . . as I've also said in my sermons a lot lately . . . I need resurrection.

The 3 AM Hopper

2008-04-01T10:20:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning at 3 AM to a rustling in my house. This isn't so uncommon as I'm not exactly a neat freak and the blowing of the A/C (yes, it's A/C in April in FL) can easily stir a paper or a bag or any number of things. But, having had my frog experience at church the last 2 days, all I could imagine was "hopping reptile in the house." This is also not uncommon. Just last week as I reached over to turn the lamp off before going to sleep I saw two eyes staring back at me. Not cool. And these aren't little tree frogs, these are big 1-2" hoppers. I caught last week's creation of God with a glass and quickly released it to the mysterious beauty of the outdoors. But at 3 AM, I couldn't find anything. I'd just hear periodic rustling -- not enough for a large creature, but enough for a little thing. I tried to comfort myself with the idea that it was probably a lizard, but it didn't scurry. No, this thing was hopping. I could HEAR the hopping. After all, what else was going on in my house at 3 AM?????? So I read a book for an hour, trying to get my mind off of the creature who, I'm sure, wanted only to escape the hidden hollows of a cold floor without bugs to eat (we have thorough pest control). And finally I returned to sleep, only to awaken with a real fear of what might be lurking in my toilet. Fortunately, nothing, but I'm still going to be paranoid for a few days.

If this is God's April Fools joke for me, I hope it gets a good laugh, but I'm having a hard time thinking this is funny.

This is the news from Arbuckle Creek where I'm enjoying time with friends this week, neighborhood gossip is not uncommon, and 35 is still considered a very EXTREMELY young adult! (Thanks be to God!)

Reptiles Oook Me Out

2008-03-31T18:04:00.002-04:00

Yes, I used the word "oook" in the title. I remember when I was the chaplain at the Montgomery Bell State Park Birthplace shrine of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church and baby snakes would slither in to the cool stone chapel. When that happened I usually found someone less squeamish than I to kindly sweep the little buggers out.

But we went to another level at church this past Sunday. After asking the men to get the hand-sized frog out of the toilet Sunday morning, I thought I had reached my squeamish limit for the day, but as I stepped out of the educational building to enter the sanctuary, I noticed a few men surrounding yet another creature. It was colorful and quickly I recited the rhyme that I was taught when active in the camping world: "Red on black, friend of Jack. Red on yellow, kill the fellow." Yep, there was the yellow stripe. It was a coral snake . . . no doubt about it. I hastened to the sanctuary and blessed the group that could handle the poisonous creature. As I got all of the ookies out of me waiting for the service to start someone asked if it was OK to kill snakes on the Sabbath. Apparently someone stomped its head pretty well and relocated it to the fire pit (don't ask why we have a fire pit). After the service they went out to the fire pit and the thing was gone. Someone quickly reassured me that a bird of prey probably got it -- we have eagles and ospreys out here who would enjoy such a dinner. But all I could think was "resurrection."

No sign of the thing today, though, as I returned to work. The frog, however, was staring at me from atop the bathroom door. Not cool.

a week with no children

2008-03-31T09:25:00.002-04:00

things are silent around here as i enter my week of solitude. of course, my congregation of children (in their 80s and 90s) have not left me but those who share my home with me are vactioning for a week. my plans include taking care of myself. i got up this morning and went for a bike ride -- though i'm so out of shape i made it halfway down the road and back (i had forgotten how uncomfortable bicycle seats are! ouch!) tomorrow i plan to make it the whole road and back -- little by little making progress and caring for me. the thing is, even with such a small success, my heart rate went up (for the two minutes) and i felt good. there's nothing wrong with starting small, as long as i just start.

i also had dinner with the neighbors last night and today have been invited out here and there by people from the church, etc. i may or may not take them up on their offers. i intend to do only what is best for me.

i tried to make an appt. with the chiropractor but he is gone this week so i've got an appt. for next week. my hubby and i are going on a date next Sunday. i hope to clean the house some and watch some movies that are not rated G. it's my week for self-care, and while i'll go to work and visit people as is required of me, i don't intend to make it a rat race. one step at a time. one day at a time. so when the little ones return i can be a better, healthier mommy.

this is the news from the stillness of arbuckle creek, where the birds are noisier than the inside of my house, the snow birds are heading back to their second homes, and the fog dusts the ground in a beautiful wonder of peace.

eat pray love

2008-03-24T20:11:00.002-04:00

You'll see that my newest book recommendation via Amazon is eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm only in the first third of the book but already I'm captivated by this woman who communicates deeply with God without being able to name quite what she is doing. Sometimes she feels she is listening to herself but she believes it is more than that. It really makes me think about the most intense conversations I've had with God . . . when I've literally waited in the silence to hear something . . . anything . . . and then I intuit something that I know is not of me. It's not that I doubt myself; rather, it's that I know myself and frequently the words I hear from God are much wiser, much deeper, taking into account things that I would never consider. And so I recommend this book (even more if you click from this page to check it out!) My friend Brian recommended it to me and it's worth every penny. I imagine some of it will make it into a sermon someday, but if not, it will influence my spiritual life.

Now, Easter. It's over -- Alleluia and Amen. But really our service was nice. Despite the arguments in committee meetings over whether or not to serve communion (me: It's a High Holy Day! them: but isn't communion on Maundy Thursday with just the 40 regulars enough?) and the further arguments over whether or not to include a mini cantata (me: it's more important to celebrate the resurrection with the sacrament of the Lord's supper. them: but music is so fun!) we came to a nice compromise and included it all, including my sermon (me: I'm sorry, but even with all of this other stuff I have to proclaim the gospel! them: you're right, Katie). We printed in the newsletter that we should expect a longer service given that we were going for the full-out celebration! So yesterday was the day and the service ended 5 minutes earlier than usual! No one could believe it! The choir sang. the children sang. the children went to Sunday school. I preached (though it was short). the offering was taken. everyone received communion. and I gave the benediction. Even with the organist starting 5 minutes late (he never looks at the clock) we did this! maybe this was a true sign of the resurrection. ALL things become possible!

So this is the news from arbuckle creek, where the pastor is rested (I slept 5 hours after church Sunday! I couldn't believe it!), the snow birds are starting to fly back North (praise God from whom all blessings flow -- though it's true, they help the economy) and the kids watch for alligators in their backyards (I kid you not, my neighbor stood guard watching the canal while our kids hunted easter eggs. the silly gator dove into the water right before we started and we weren't taking chances!)

Check out My New Amazon Recommendations

2008-03-17T21:02:00.001-04:00

I know it's been awhile, but I decided I'd update what I've been reading. Enjoy. Oh, and as for the kindle, I really want one!

What's So Holy About Holy Week?

2008-03-17T20:25:00.002-04:00

As a pastor I dread Holy Week. I dread the many services, even services that traditionally hold so much meaning for me. Mostly, I just dread the excessive work. I probably shouldn't complain given the fact that I preach that so much of the Christian faith centers around the cross, an element of execution. I probably shouldn't complain about extra services when I believe God's love would do anything for me, including pulling all-nighters so that I could finally see clearly enough to receive whatever it is I need. But I do complain because I wonder what is so holy about holy week. I wonder why people flock to the church this week when they don't any other week. I wonder why we go out and buy new clothes for this Sunday when we rush just to get our hair brushed other Sundays. I wonder why I stress out so much this week when it is just another week. After all, next year the week of March 17 will be just another week -- nothing holy whatsoever. But then I remember that one of the main things Jesus' life teaches is that the ordinary is holy. We don't need special rules or laws to follow in order to make anything holy. We need only to recognize God's presence with us, understanding us, to change the ordinary into the sacred. And so when I ask, "What's so holy about holy week?" I guess I should also acknowledge that everything is holy during holy week. And the same everything is holy the rest of the year too because God is with us, God understands us, God loves us, God forgives us, God receives us. There is nothing ordinary about life when one follows the way of Christ.

Pastors Don't Make Much Money

2008-03-08T16:38:00.002-05:00

I continue with my desire to be content with what I have, but I am finding with rising gas prices, a pastor's salary just doesn't cut it for a family of four. I guess this is the point at which I look at reality.

Perhaps the hardest part of admitting that pastors don't make much money is acknowledging it when my salary is above the poverty line, is above what many Americans are able to earn on a work-3-jobs-to-make-ends-meet income. I am a professional with a professional salary and professional duties. I have to lead worship, counsel those in times of need, plan programs, envision the future of the organization, and understand business administration. Yet, because I have been called by God to this, I am supposed to graciously receive what is being given to me, albeit, not enough.

I find myself looking for other jobs that would not be as satisfying as this one. I find myself wondering what it might be to have an income that tripled or even quadrupled mine. (notice in my dream state I skipped even doubling it, knowing that that amount would also be less-than-ideal). But I really wonder what it is I am looking for. I want to live happily, freely. I want to not worry on those off weeks when I don't get paid if I will be able to stretch things enough to pay all of my bills. I want not to be the bearer of bad news to my husband-student that he is not to touch the bank account. I used to think that much of my frustration was the accumulation of student loans that come due each month, but even those are in deferment and we still struggle. I know that there will always be bills and taxes. I know that I won't get away from them with a larger income. And I know that a boost in income will not take away the desire I have to be a pastor. Heck, usually I'm even good at it. How would I make the transition from pastor to "development coordinator" or "sustainable building coordinator?" While I am extremely interested in green building and eco-friendly homes, I wonder how I would even get started in a completely different business. Personally I'm sure I could tie it together spiritually, but how would I transition my life from counseling and planning worship to encouraging new builders/buyers to go green?

If you're lost with this post, I'm sorry. I'm just so stuck. I want to respect my husband's desire to go to school without the interruption of a job, but it hurts that I suck in the income department. enough said. I hope to get out of this mood soon.

Do Not Worry

2008-02-27T20:00:00.003-05:00

I did a really fun thing tonight. Our Lenten study has been focused on God's calling us into mission. We spent a week talking about poverty and another focused on injustices in the world. Then this week I gave everyone (remember, this is a church of people mostly over the age of 65 and many over 75) a newspaper, scissors, and glue and asked them what kind of headline they would create if our church had unlimited resources -- money, time, and people -- to reach out into the community. The trick was that they could only fashion their headlines out of words they cut out from their newspapers (so they kinda reflected ransom notes). The headlines were priceless. We had everything from "We Never Close!" to ways to reach out to the homeless, to people caught in addictions, and to families; We had the church giving money to people, feeding people, etc. We even had affordable senior housing on the grounds! And of course we had a lot of laughs. Then I turned in the Gospel of Matthew to listen as Jesus teaches us not to worry about anything, for God will take care of our needs. I reminded people that they were able to envision the kingdom of God during our exercise because they stopped worrying that there would not be enough money or enough food or that they would not live very much longer. And I encouraged people to take these visions that seemed a bit over the top and begin to wonder what God is calling the church to be. And then I turned to Matthew 28 and together we heard the Great Commission. "Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to observe all that I commanded you." And then we heard the best news ever: "Remember, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Next week we'll get specific about what God is calling us to do and to be. But this week, we recognized a vision.